I live with my partner and we have a 15 month old son .The problem is that he doesnt want to have sex with me. He NEVER makes the first move, if we do have sex it is ALWAYS me that has initiated it.This has gone on since before our son was born. I have tried to be sensitive and not put pressure on him because I know that just because he is a man it doesnt necessarily mean he is up for it all the time. I also understand that he works hard and works around 40 -50 hours aweek. However I work too and run a house. I dont even feel like dressing up for him anymore beause I am fed up of rejection.I have even tried waiting for him to make the first move in his own time and I waited months and month and gave in and came on to him. I have tried to be open and honest with him but he refuses to talk abut it saying that it is in my imagination.We have both put on weight as my parner gave up smoking-I have reasured him that I love him and still find him attractive. What should I do?
2007-07-04 02:37:53 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
it sounds like you guys may have to think about this situation.
this could be a long term problem.
2007-07-04 02:44:22 · answer #1 · answered by mmoynan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been up front and honest, I appreciate that, you have gained weight, this is not abnormal after a child. He has gained weight after quitting smoking.
Some people don't have a sex drive. A Friend, after her husband passed on after thirty years, admitted they never had sex, to have kids, that was it. She never had a orgasm she told my wife. She met another man, had sex and an orgasm, she couldn't believe what it was like, you can't stop her now.
Maybe you husband isn't having the sex you think he is. Can you do this?
Rent some X-rated movies, take the child to a sitter or go to a motel with a hot tub or pool.
Don't tell anyone, surprise him. Then put on your best and get him in there. Do whatever comes natural.
2007-07-04 09:47:36 · answer #2 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always been told that men want sex more than women.For you to have to wait months and months to have sex with your partner is not fair to you.Due to the fact that you tried to talk to him about it shows that you care.From what you have mentioned,my opinion is that he MIGHT be having sex with someone else. If he/she is not getting it from home they are getting it from someone else.I don't want to put these kind of thoughts in your head but think about it. Whenever another partner is cheating there are always signs there but we are not aware of it because we are not looking for it or in denial. But once you have an idea that he/she is cheating,just sit back and observe until you have enough proof to satisfy the decision you want to make.Good luck
2007-07-04 10:01:16 · answer #3 · answered by Slim&Sexy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've got the same problem. My husband never makes the first move and it's made me feel like he finds me unattractive. I told him that's how I felt and he said I was crazy. He said he finds me attractive. I told him that's not enough for me. I told him that it would be nice if he showed a little more affection than the morning erection in my lower back. Just sit him down and explain to him that you just want to feel wanted and when he just lays there like a dead fish, it makes you feel like he doesn't want you. If he's still not listening, you may need counciling.
2007-07-04 09:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by gyoza1216 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's imperative you tell us the entire story Linzi. my take on this is what many other men have expressed to me on the q.t. He has been turned down by you too often to the point where now he feels that by you initiating intimate activity, he is signaled his procedure won't be rejected. Further, you fail to indicate his age. That could be key. Your patience is important here too girl. I am aware you have been however an extension may be required in a case like this. For many men, including myself, your patience alone will document reassurance that you love him.
2007-07-04 11:41:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should dump the guy, it's obvious that he's no longer attractive to you, it's probably not your fault. He's either gay or has someone else that gives it to him. I work about 50 to 55 hours a week, my wife and I have sex at least 3 or 4 times a week. I suggest you either leave him, investigate him or just have a fling with someone that will give it you hard, you poor thing.
2007-07-04 09:48:55 · answer #6 · answered by Issysd 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should give him time.You don't know what is going on his mine.He might not want to do it for fear of having another kid,or mabye he is into men or he is messing around with some one else and feels guilty about it.His problem could be medical as well and feels that he might not be able to "perform" good.
2007-07-04 09:47:08 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. Man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men don't know how to show affection.
You may just have to tell him "how you want him to show you affection" You know speak the same language.
Remember Men are from mars and women are from Venus, we think differently and interpret things and thoughts differently. If he says that he does love you and etc......... Then tell him to show you in the ways that you like. Compromise!!!!
Tell him what you would like him to do. Communicate !!!!!!!
2007-07-04 09:54:39 · answer #8 · answered by Vanessa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FOUND a good dress which show u attractive .
Do wears the clothes u love to see u.
DO the sex as he like .
If he love u suck please do that.
2007-07-04 09:45:03 · answer #9 · answered by JASWANT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Insist that he talk to a Dr. His problem could be medical.
2007-07-04 09:44:25 · answer #10 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋