Military wives whose husbands are in Iraq-Help me please?

Question

My husband just left for Iraq and it hasn't been a week since he left and I am so miserable. When I dropped him off at the airport I coudln't handle my emotions they were running rampant, I cried so much that my head felt like it was going to explode, I got myself all worked up because we were basically newlywed, just got married April 13 this year and its been a little over 2 months and he is gone to war. I pray for my man everyday for his safe return and I get to talk with him 15 minutes a day but I am so miserable and I try to make him think that everything is okay that way he doesn't worry about me because he really needs to concentrate on his mission there but in reality I AM SUFFERING....I just need ways to cope with my feelings and emotions....I have been eating like crazy and I sure don't want to get fat while he is gone but I need help....Only SERIOUS answers please.

this is to Anothe------my husband has already been in 3 other wars and was told he wouldn't be sent so thank you for your compassion as my husband is over risking his life fighting for your freedom....has your mother ever told you "if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all....be considerate and think of the men that have been forced to go over there 2 and 3 times to be seperated from their families.....what if they start the draft and you get to go....is that a bed you want to lay in......grow up

*****Military wives Respons only please......now if you all know anything about the FSG you know they are not productive at all, they are full of gossiping women and that's not what I need right now, I'm not saying that they are all like that but the one i'm associated with is exactly like that

Answer 1

You just have to surround yourself with friends. I wanted to be alone when my husband was gone because I was so sad, but the truth is, you need to go out with your friends. You have to do anything you can to not think about missing him and getting depressed. Of course you are going to feel sad and at times angry when he cant be there, its not going to go away. But you can control it with time. Its always going to hurt, but, you will learn to cope. You have no choice but to cope.

Answer 2

I can definetly relate to that. My first husband was sent to saudi and Iraq numerous times (while we were just newlyweds) My emotions were rampant too. It was hard, I had no family, friends, and two infants to take care of. He was never home. I finnally went to see a psyciatrist for depression, of course it didn't change the fact I missed him so much, but it cut down the crying time. I joined a gym with a daycare, and worked out many hours a day, took a correspondence course for fitness and nutrition, recieved a diploma, then went on to getting certified as an aerobics instructor. That may or may not interest you,, but try to find something to keep you busy. When your feeling really sad, write to him. You need to vent. call someone. He was also told he would never be sent back, he did do 6 more assignments over there. I really wish the best for you, and its going to be tough on you, I am sure its even tougher on your husband. Good luck and god bless. You have my sympathy 100%

Answer 3

I'm not a military wife but I am an active duty memeber. I've been deployed to Iraq three times and hopefully there won't be a fourth. Some of the things that my wife told me she did was to occupy her time. She never stopped worrying about me but by concentrating on other things it made the time go faster. Spend time with your friends, hopefully you have good friends and family to lean on. My wife went to college for her nursing degree. She also got a job at a hospital. She also exercised to take up time. Hopefully you can do some or all of these things.
On a side note. You are a strong woman to not complain to your husband so that his mind is in the game. But remember, that you will sometimes need to let him know what is truly going on with you. Maybe write it down in a letter so it takes a while before getting to him but don't keep it all inside. My wife and I went the year I was deployed holding things back from each other so that we both can stay in the game and now communicating is hard. We are working on it though. I don't want you to go through that so try to talk to him when you can. Good luck and I hope this deployment goes by quickly.

Answer 4

Hi. I don't have a husband yet but my boyfriend is currently deployed in Iraq. We spent two weeks together in April and I was as miserable as you after the first few days he left. My flight was in the morning and his was in the afternoon. I cried buckets over the phone to the point that I couldn't speak. I pretty much gave myself a headache and other emotional upsets over the next few weeks.

Now. It's okay to feel miserable. But you can't be miserable for a long long time. That would suck for you both. He needs you happy. I've had my share of being so down every now and then and I find that it makes him sad, too. Especially when he sees stuff on a mission that he doesn't want to talk about. Our happiness really do mean something to them. It's okay to be sad, but not all the time. You have to accept that he is there. That's a step forward to feeling better. And take comfort in your prayers that he will be alright. If it helps you, join a group of army wives on the net. I did. Just to help me cope. But you don't have to. Just get a hold of yourself and channel your energy on something more productive. :)

Answer 5

It's heartbreaking just ro read this, let alone imagine how you feel. Yet, unfortunately, I've known thousands of people in your situation. Too many wars in my life I guess. But I think what you will find is that you are a lot stronger than you think you are at this point. Someone suggested support groups and family. Two very good ideas. You need that. But the real strength to get through this will come from you. Find it in your faith. Find it in immersing yourself in something...perhaps volunteering somehow. I know it sounds crazy, but you need to think about other things. The things you need to do when he gets home for instance.

Nobody is going to tell you that you shouldnt worry. All of us here are worried for him with you. But when that worry becomes destructive and leaves you incapacitated, you are not helping yourself or him. As you said, you dont want him to come home to a fat broad now, do ya? (Just trying to add a little levity.)

If you find that you cant deal with this, there is always counseling. I'd use that as a last resort though. Find some friends. Find a group. Find something to do that helps you get your mind off of the problem 24/7. And find yourself.

Good luck and send our best to your husband. We are all there with him.

Answer 6

1. Groom immaculately
2. Dress nicely
3. Work harder than ever
4. Don’t use profanity
5. Spend an hour a day in the library
6. Spend an hour a day at the gym
7. Find a support group in your area
9. Volunteer a few hours a week for a worthy cause
10. Help someone every day
11. Go to Church
12. Invite your friends to Church
13. Talk to your pastor
14. SMILE
15. Speak badly of no one

Good Luck

Answer 7

It is really a gift to be able to reach out and share this time with you! I know how I feel when my husband goes away for a few weeks, so I really feel for you.

What I can offer by way of advice is that I am a life coach, and have access to other life coaches who would especially work with women in your situation. I would be really happy to even have a chat and offer support for no charge! It would be my honor! I am in the UK, but if you feel I could be of assistance drop me a line! This is a honest heartfelt offer.

It may not seem like much but know that there are now many people who are holding the space for your husbands safe return, and for your strength, and happiness!

I really admire you for reaching out and not going through this alone!

Answer 8

Anothe needs a good slap up the side of the head...

Anyway, when my husband left for iraq it was very hard for me as well. I did find though, the more time I had on my hands, the more I thought about it, the worse it got.

I remedied this by keeping busy. I socialised with my work colleagues, and friends, too. I also became more active with my hobbies. I dont have any family here, they are in anotehr state.

I would suggest you stay away from those army women's groups, I went there once and it was like walking into a vipers' nest - it's just not for me.

I sympathise with your suffering because I've been there.

Best regards, Penny xxx

Answer 9

I have no idea how you feel, I am not a military wife. I just wanted to say, thank you to your husband for his service to this "freedom" we all enjoy. I am so thankful for men like your husband and I always think about the families they are leaving to do the job they do. I know this probably isn't the answer you needed, but I was compelled to thank you. God Bless you and your husband and I will pray for his safe return and your being able to cope.

Answer 10

I',m NOT in the military ,or a wife but i'm a man.Have you spoken to your base Chaplain.Try that it can comfort you.
See if there are spousal support groups on the base.
Good Luck! I will pray for you.