call me needy, clingy, insecure, but i miss having compliments from my husband. we have been together for 2 years and i know he loves me to bits, i know i am the love of his life as he said before, but i need to hear that i look nice once in a while. he used to say all these things when we were going out, so i know he can. but it stopped. i know marriage is not about all that, but this is something that i really miss and would not be happy if i had to compromise on this. please, give me some real advice, not "you should buy suspenders and have a romantic dinner". it will do the trick only for one night and it will only be lust, i am talking about meaninful nice things.
before you ask . i do say nice things to him, a lot, i mean them and more than happy to do it, i know people are different, i just want to feel more like a woman.
2007-07-04 00:19:18 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
thanx, but i have already talked to him about it and he seems to get the point every time and i know feels bad, but for some reason he just cant anything nice - it is like he is numb or something...
2007-07-04 00:33:32 · update #1
what if this is not going to change? it doesnt mean divorce, but what should i do?
2007-07-04 01:52:28 · update #2
Be honest with him and tell him how you feel about it. Maybe he thinks since you have been together for so long, it is assumed. Open your mouth and tell him you want him to whisper sweet nothings to you once in a while.
2007-07-04 00:21:59 · answer #1 · answered by harleychic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to make someone say something people say and do what they feel and what they want, if he isn't saying it then he don't mean it right now. Watch 4 other signs in the marriage to try and find out why he may not be doing these things any more, but in all reality when u 2 have been 2gether 4 a while things like this happen it could be nothing but it could be something, there is no easy answer u and only u have 2 find out what it is and if it can be resolved.
2007-07-04 08:38:08 · answer #2 · answered by thxsfrnd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The major thing is to try to look nice for him occasionally, even though you have been working around the house, etc... A man really likes to feel proud of his lady. If he has nothing to be proud of, he tends to neglect her.
Tell him that you have been unhappy, and feeling a bit useless in the relationship lately. Tell him that you would enjoy him letting you know when you look nice, or do something that makes him feel special. Ask him what you can do to make him see you as the girls that he once gave that attention to.
If he does not get the point, make an appointment with a marriage counselor, and drag him to it before your marriage gets worse and fails.
2007-07-04 07:31:51 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have been with my partner for 11 years and he still tells me how beautiful i am, it makes me feel great, it did stop for a while and i asked him if his feelings had changed towards me, he said no and they never will, so i asked him why he'd stopped complimenting me, his answer was, because you know how much i love you and you know how much i fancy you, i don't have to tell you this every day....this mad me feel much better because he confirmed that i was still the love of his life, just because he does not compliment you enough does not mean your marriage is failing or he has stopped loving you, men are like that, they take things for granted and expect us to know what they are thinking, next time you get dressed up...ask him how you look....that's what i did, if this really does bother you then you need to tell him how insecure your feeling and that a little compliment now and then would be nice.....
2007-07-04 09:43:16 · answer #4 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever a person bases their happiness and/or feeling of self on the actions or non-actions of another person, they have much deeper and more serious issues than simple insecurity!!
This is a dangerous way to live!! you MUST accept and love your SELF first - the compliments or nice comments should be reassurance only that you are taking care of yourself - you already KNOW you look good - NEVER depend on ANYBODY to make or keep you happy - - that's YOUR job, now get on it and stop trying to change hubby.
2007-07-04 07:29:31 · answer #5 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're not needy or any of those things. being paid a compliment by your husband of 2 years isn't much to ask, but sadly that's how things get if you let them.. You should talk to him about your feelings, maybe just ask if he thinks you look nice when you go out and tell him he looks gorgeous too, even if you always say things first. I had all this when my husband started to change but a little chat can work wonders. Good luck.
2007-07-04 07:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by mrsB 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i know what you're saying i live the same life. compliments are few and far between but the head's on rotation in the centre admiring anything that's possibly female. that's the way they are. first it's the admiring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering. sorry to tar you all with the same brush. he's a man. i know mine loves me because - well i hope so - but it's really not nice when i get compliment at work from ladies/guys to say i look smart etc then at home he always tired and "forgets" - sorry for you - don't feel insecure he's pigheaded - he a bloke.... it's like it's their perogative
2007-07-04 11:58:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offence but i think you need to look deeper than just not being happy with your husband not paying you compliments anymore. You need to find out why you feel you need to hear him give you compliments. Personally i think its a little 'kid like' and as a mature woman you shouldnt need compliments all the time. I know my husband thinks i look good without him having to tell me. Try working on your own confidence then maybe you can realise he shouldnt have to tell you.
2007-07-04 07:31:20 · answer #8 · answered by Scorps 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you have already explained your feelings then what more can you do? you said you know he loves you so he must show you in some way that he thinks your special.surely if you have got something special then you shouldnt need constant reassurance from him.its a man thing!mine wouldnt notice if i pranced around naked singing i feel pretty whilst pegging out the washing lol.as long as hes there for you and you are for him when it matters then surely your worry isnt that much of a worry =]get on with your marriage and think yourself lucky that you do have someone who loves you and you love him. =]
2007-07-07 19:34:35 · answer #9 · answered by *♥*tron*♥* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that you have talked to him about it and he understands what you want you will have to wait a while so that when he does compliment you he won't feel like it is a demand and you will know that it is spontaneous. When a man is in love with you sex is never just lust. My hubby gets a chubby when he kisses me....this is love not lust.
2007-07-04 08:32:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
do something out of the ordinary, get ur hair get different or buy a new dress were more make up, if he still does not give u any compliments uve got no hope. some men are just like that my boyf goes over the top whereas my dad never says anything nice to my mum, she has learnt that just because he doesnt say it doesnt mean he doesnt think it. he still loves u
good luck, knock him off his feet xx
2007-07-04 07:30:32 · answer #11 · answered by *kade* 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋