I got married wen i was 16.yes,i know wat youll say but it was love. it was really love and also illigal. i went through so much to be wit this guy.everything about this relationship was absolutly perfect .but two years into the marriage things started to get rocky.comon,i was 16 what would you expect?and im in colege full time so i met this guy.i didnt want to do r say anything but i must admit i was attracted to him plus he was in my class for a semester so we became friends.he went through a divorce at that time also and after the semester was over he stated coming to my house,giving me rides, that led into kissing, and eventually islept with him. at this time he had another gfand in the short time i was wth him he showed me so much more love,affection and warmth than i have recieved in the 2 years i was married to my hubs.then recently he got his gf pregnant and said that he needs to be with his new family even if that ment being unhappy for the rest of his life. i miss him so much
2007-07-03 21:37:59 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he used you for sex and you cheated on your husband with some nice talking guy who gave you the attention he knew you needed just to get in your pants. You should have been telling your husband how you feel instead of running around with some man.
2007-07-03 21:51:48 · answer #1 · answered by je 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I am new to this site and I have to say I'm shocked and amazed by just how cruel people can be! I reckon there's a lot of people who have never made a mistake out there, to be condemning so many suffering people to hell without such as a shred of human compassion!!! Especially someone so young and new-to-thegame as yourself. I too married young, and we had difficulties in the early years, but we stuck at it and have now been married 10 years. We have grown up together and its not perfect (is any marriage?!!) but its good and we love each other. Not sure how old the other guy in question is but you said he was divorced so I'm guessing older than you, it sounds like he may have been on the rebound, he now has a new girlfriend and a baby on the way and is moving on with his life and settling down, its unfortunate you have got caught in the middle. Time will heal and a lesson will be learned, its part of growing up. If you still have feelings for your husband then its worth trying to save your marriage, and make a fresh start being a little older and wiser and you'll reap the benefits in the end. If you don't want to be with him anymore then let him go free so you can both get on with your lives.
Good Luck
2007-07-04 00:17:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but though at 16 you may have been in love you were not mature enough to make a commitment. That is the difference in getting married at 16 and 26. Life experiences effect everything. Especially the decision to have an affair with a man who was already involved.
As for your marriage being rocky because you were so young: all marriages go though rocky times. That is where the commitment come in. To have an affair or divorce it things are hard is part of being immature. Being committed is where the rubber meets the road.
You need to stop playing grown up and become a grown up. You and your husband need to seek professional marriage counseling. If you can not afford it then seek a pastor at a local church, preferably one with a lot of young couples. He will be trained for just such counseling.
You faught for this man, you did everything to have him. Now you've got him you need to stick by him. As for him not giving you all the love and affection and warmth you need. First of all, that is a two way street in marriage. Have you given him all he needs? Is he as young and inexperienced as you? Maybe he needs to learn how to give as you need him too. Again, seek counseling AND friendships with solidly married couples. Ones that will mentor your relationship and give a solid ear when things are hard.
I hope you chose to make your marriage last. You'll be glad on your 50th anniversary. Remember commitment has nothing to do with love but it will help you remember why you do love your husband.
2007-07-03 21:52:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well this is tough situation u both are in. Well, first, you both were irresponsible. You shouldn't have never got with him in the first place if he had another girlfriend during that time. Even if you were craving for love and affection, you shouldn't have looked for it in him. First off, he just had a divorce and that was the worst time to start a relationship with him because he still might have been in an emotial upheaval from is divorce and was looking for comfort by being in a relationship especially involving two girls at the time and hurting one along the way (which is you). If you guys loved each other, then he obviously did not love you because he would have used protection and not have involved you especially if he was dating another girl at the time. Now, his baby mama is pregnant with his baby and what can you do? Quite frankly, I dont think ur in love with him. From what you have just told me, you're infatuated with him because he showed you love and affection that no one has showed you in a long time.
I'm guessing you're 19. You are still young and I advice that you shouldn't look for love or relationships at this time.Finish College,Get your stuff together and do what you're suppose to do. Get that degree and when you get a good, stable job, then you can think about being in a relationship. You're looking for love in all the wrong places right now especially with ur present circumstances. Learn from your mistakes and remember that there are still hundred different guys out there to pick from.
2007-07-03 22:00:02 · answer #4 · answered by obviously 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a friend my age who is still looking for the "romantic" in her life. She's been married 3 times and abused in all of them because ALL she looks for is the romance, the flirtatious, the hot burning first stage of romance. Well, that hot romancy stuff (called the honeymoon stage) lasts a short period of time before the relationship changes to be more suitable for building a life together and starting a family. That is the natural course of ALL long term relationships and she's never learned that the candy and flowers stage is simply that............a begininng stage in a relationship and that if it does not evolve, it implodes or explodes. Good relationships take time and romance novels are NOT what makes for lasting bonded relationships over a lifetime's experiences of highs and lows of all kinds and made even stronger through it all. Keep the romance and I'll hang onto the sweet man who brings me my first cup of hot coffee every morning of my life and asks if I remembered to take my morning pills. For 45years now he is all the inspiration and romance I want.
2016-05-17 23:02:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is wrong. You cheated on your husband and get to live with the guilt. You could have stopped your affair with the swinger before it led to kissing. You're lucky you didn't pick up an STD and pass it on to your husband. I caught my ex-wife in bed with her boyfriend and she lost everything, including the respect of her family. You made a commitment when you said 'I do'. If you can't honor it, be fair to your husband and let him go.
2007-07-03 21:46:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he had his affair and you were it.
I strongly suggest you try and salvage your own marrige since it was love and stop trying to take the easy way out.
Your married and I believe it's for better or worse so get through the worse and enjoy your life.
2007-07-03 21:58:47 · answer #7 · answered by DeathsToy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The affair was a very bad decision, but now it's time to work things out with your husband.
2007-07-03 22:46:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me you got what you deserved.
Everyone thinks nowadays that cheating on someone is perfectly normal and acceptable. Don't use your age as an excuse. You cheated, that means you broke the rules.
I don't feel bad at all for you. Sorry.
2007-07-03 21:42:13 · answer #9 · answered by iswd1 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
its good hes taking responsibility but im a strong believer in NOT being with someone for wrong reasons. if you dont love someone then dont be there. you can take care of your kids without being with the other parent. as far as he goes for you ive always been told to let them free if they came back it was meant to be. that might not always be true, but i think id let him go. do things to get your mind off him and just try to be happy. you dont always need to be in a relationship to be happy. find out what you want from a partner, and just give yourself a break for now. itll work out.
2007-07-03 21:48:37 · answer #10 · answered by warrior*in*the*making 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋