in my 30s, i feel like i wasted my youth by being too booky and thinking too much, am i the only one?

Question

hi i never went to bars and got drunk. ive had some mindless good times, but not as much as i could have. instead i would read a lot and be like an information vacuum. i felt like i had to learn and obtain knowledge. now that im in my early 30s, i feel like i have some leverage with all this information, and i feel a great deal happier. but i feel like my life has passed me by and i didnt enjoy my youth. i also had to work a great deal in my youth because my parents believed in that, so i never really got to enjoy myself. now that im ready to let the good times roll, i see everyone is starting to settle down. i have been criticized by some people i know for being too youthful. i still dont go to bars, but the other day i bungee jumped and a close friend of mine thought i was getting a little too up there for that. im starting to feel like a real fuddy.

i was wondering if anyone else feels this way.

im not a virgin. im not that bad lol. i do have some fun like i mentioned. i just never was a bar fly and going crazy at the frat parties etc.

Answer 1

I think you should have enjoyed your youth. The pros of not enjoying your youth is that you learned more and did not make silly mistakes that haunt you. The cons would be that you missed out on a lot.

Answer 2

It is a matter of personal goals and priorities. You've gotten an early start, and that's commendable - far from a waste of time. If you can say for sure that your MBA is a personal goal, you are not wasting time. If, on the other hand, you're simply going through the motions down a path that's been ingrained in you from childhood, you may want to reassess your goals. Perhaps you're having doubts because subconsciously you're meeting your family's expectations and not really following the path you want. It's also important to remember to make room in your life for other things that are important to you: family, friends, fun, sports and hobbies, etc. You could be feeling like you're wasting your youth because you've thrown yourself so completely into your career and academic goals that you feel you're missing out on the things that bring you joy, and that's not healthy either. Unfortunately, I can say with absolute certainty that I wasted a good deal of my youth in many respects. I don't want to do it all over again, and I wouldn't do it over again if given the chance. However, if I had to do it all over again, or if I knew then what I know now ... well, you know how that goes. Get your MBA, but doing something fun at least once or twice a month. You'll be glad you did. Good luck.

Answer 3

Ok I'm not sure how to answer this but will try my best. I am 23 right now and alot like you were. I would alot rather read a good book or just visit with friends then to go out to a bar. I have gone to bars but not to get drunk. I have gotten drunk 3 or 4 times since I started to drink at 19. I haven't had a drink right now for about 3 weeks. When I do drink its like one drink and thats it. I truly believe there is more to like then to go to a bar or something like. As far as bungee jumping, that is actually on my list of 100 things to do before I die, and if I have to wait until I'm 90, it will happen regardless of what people think. I don't think there should be an age limit on something like that. I also think that even if you were "settled down" you could still go bungee jumping. Heck I want to do all that kind of crazy stuff someday. I believe things like that, is a healthy (and scary) way to have some fun. At least you didn't decide that now your 30, your going to go get totally drunk every weekend. My roommates are in their 30, and get wasted every time they have a day off. I am always wishing I had a roommate a little bit more mature so I could actually have something in common. I think its neat that you were into learning and books when you were in your youth. Not many people are, and I always feeling like something is wrong with me because I am. I would say your just different then your friends and thats ok. Have fun through out your whole life. You will settle down, when the time is right for YOU!

Good luck and have fun!!

Answer 4

My goodness.... you are only 30 not 90...... Live your life because no-one knows how long they will be here. You have NOT wasted your life by reading and gaining an education

Remember you are only as old as you feel. Do the things you feel you missed out on doing in your youth. Soon you will realize you are living a good life and you won't worry so much about what other people think of you.

Answer 5

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
in my 30s, i feel like i wasted my youth by being too booky and thinking too much, am i the only one?
hi i never went to bars and got drunk. ive had some mindless good times, but not as much as i could have. instead i would read a lot and be like an information vacuum. i felt like i had to learn and obtain knowledge. now that im in my early 30s, i feel like i have some leverage with all this...

Answer 6

I'm always looking for ways to have fun even though I read more than most. Find some friends that support your youthful ways. Try hangin out with some reinactors. Civil war, medeval etc. These people seem to be able to have fun as adults without the necessity to get drunk. And there is nothing wrong with having some friends that are younger adults. I'm in my 50s and have some friends in their 30s plus some friends in their 60s. Live today. Have a great 4th.

Answer 7

I think the only thing making you "fuddy" is wondering if you are. I didn't party much in my youth, I studied, worked hard and learned all that I could. Now I'm 38, I have tons of experience, and I love it. I'm in the best times of my life. I can party any time I want. (or go buy a new house.)
To old to bungee jump sounds like you friend might be a fuddy, go rock climbing tomorrow or work on making your home into a hospice.

Answer 8

I am like that too and felt that life was wasted, but there's a good side of being someone who invests in themselves, whether it be time or knowledge.

There's so many dumbass people out there that sometimes I wish we had a nuclear war, so only the ingenious and intelligent ones can see the rest of them struggling. Sorry I sound bitter but there are alot of people that shouldn't be able to reproduce or exist...like the people who read magazines and pretend the subscription card didn't just fall out. Then they are just too lazy to pick it up and put the magazine anywhere they want. Thats only one example, and those are the adults. I could go on but...

Answer 9

Though happiness is a state of mind and its easier to recall misery than it is the last time you smiled, I'd try to remember if you were happy in your pre-30 years. It's a trite saying, but no use crying over spilt milk. You are the person you are and due to your book knowledge and probably indepth self knowledge you are able to look back and make this observation while some of the people who have made you seem or feel an outcast or someone who has missed out on life is trying to remember the dimensions of the gravity bong they built in college the semester before the dropped out because their buddies want to reinvent it for that night's brain cell killing 30 year birthday party... but they can't seem to remember the details.
You're fine, live your life, jump off buildings as a base jumper, bungee jump, sky dive, do whatever it takes to assuage the feeling that you've wasted life and maybe as those experiences mount up you'll realize you're really trying to replace something that can't be replaced and spend your time and intelligence elsewhere.
And yes, others feel that way... I dropped out of college one semester short of graduation to join the Army as a paratrooper in the infantry because I felt a void in the experience section of my life and wished to be as my heroes who understood living life and enduring hardship. My adventure took me to Iraq twice and allowed me a glimpse of myself I'd never have known was there without the military, combat and the overall decision to leave academia. You're not alone. Get it out of your system and get on with your newly awakened existence!

Answer 10

The existance of the phrase "Youth is wasted on the young" points to the fact that your experience is more common than you think.

Many people look back at their youth and wish they had done more to enjoy it. Just think of all those parents telling their kids to "enjoy your youth while it lasts" and "don't try to grow up too fast", showing that they have some form of regret about their youth.

Your own desire to "let the good times roll" may be more about not wanting to let go of your youth whether you enjoyed it or not. In fact many men try to hold on to their youth despite the fact that they have been abusing the privilage!

As long as your wanting to "let the good times roll" does not interfere with your taking the next step in growing up, i.e. "settling down", youth may still be an asset. For many the eternal youth, "puer eterna", remains a part of their life preventing them from gettin stuffy and old before their time. But they do have to make sure that it doesn't stop their development.

Personally I always say "Defining youth is wasted on the mature". Those who haven't been young for a while forget what it is to be young and naïve and have to face the uncertainty of the world which the youth then compensates for by reckless abandon and having fun. Try and enjoy your maturity and (hopefully) wisdom before you lose it and become senile!

Answer 11

I Wasted My Youth