I suspect my husband watches porn and I dont know why?

Question

We have been married a year now. I know I satisfy him in every way possible. Why would he be so intrested in watching porn and then try to hide it from me?

Answer 1

A lot of perfectly normal (faithful, loyal, loving) men watch porn from time to time. It doesn't mean you are not enough for him. It doesn't mean he is not happy and satisfied. it's really not much different than watching a drama, or action movie.... Nothing but a distraction, entertainment. I hope it doesn't shock you to know that men (general speaking) jerk off frequently. Not necessarily because they aren't getting enough. Just because it feels good, is easy to do, doesn't cost a thing, doesn't hurt anyone or require any effort from anyone else.... what better way to pass the time?
(the male mind usually thinks about sex100X + more often than the female mind on a daily basis- that's not an exact amount, I'm just guessing but you get my meaning, right?)

Your reaction, confusion/worry... alone gives me the impression that you don't really have much experience or understanding about men and porn. If you feel he is hiding it from you, maybe he is because he's aware of your inexperience, aware that you would find it distasteful, doesn't want to upset you, or hurt your feelings. He himself may be inexperienced and not know how to explain it to you without upsetting you.
He may not even be actually "hiding" it. Just has some discretion and respect for you not to be blatant about it and not entertaining himself right in front of you.

I'm not putting you down so don't get the wrong idea. My first encounter w/this same situation (my 29 yr old finance left porn magazines in our bed) I was only 19 and I felt somewhat betrayed. My initial reaction was hurt/ worried that I didn't satisfy him. That was a long time ago. I've since learned that occasional interest in porn (few times a week or maybe 20min private time mornings or afternoons, sometimes surfing the net for a few hrs once in a while) is perfectly normal and harmless.
It doesn't mean he thinks any less of you. And in no way whatsoever can it be considered or even compared to infidelity.

If you think he may be "sneaking" or trying to hide it from you, you should just come out and ask him about it. Not in an accusative way - more in a curious way. Let him know you don't understand it, wondered about it, why he does it, what he gets out of it.... I'm sure at the very least he will reassure you that it's not due to any lack of satisfaction in you.

Answer 2

You might let him know he doesn't have to hide it.

Men often think they do. We are more visual. We are stimulated by looking, much more than women are.

Most men look at some porn and many women enjoy it too.

Anything can become an addiction but most people don't have addictions to anything and that includes porn. There is a difference between addiction and preference.

Men will always look at porn and at other women ,but most of us know whom we love and where home is.

I have been happily married to the same woman for 25 years and I have never stopped looking at women and she knows it , even point out sexy women to me. It is great that she is that self-assured and realisitc.

I used to look at a lot of porn when I was younger, but over time, I really don't much anymore. Still, upon occasion we look at a movie together.

In short, it is just natural.

Answer 3

This is the same issue I am having with my boyfriend right now. He would go to porn sites, askjolene.com and watch porn for about an hour or so. I find this under history on the computer and under cookies. I confronted him about it and asked him if he was addicted to porn and if he needs to join a porn addict group. He said, "I just watch it." But I don't believe it.. I give it to him every time he wants it... but I can't believe this excuse. Guys just dont watch porn. They do it for pleasure, or because they feel that their own relationship is inadequate. My friend told me that he may watch it to learn and get experience so he can be better in bed with you, but when you're with a guy who's had sex since they were like 14.. it's hard to believe.
I also try my best to satisfy his every needs when we are in bed together... and I do things I don't really like to do...
its hard for us women. I dont understand porn, or why guys like to watch it.
You say you suspect. Why don't you confront him about it? Just casually ask him... and explain how you don't like it... tell him that if wants to watch porn, why not watch it together? This is what I did.

Answer 4

If he is trying to hide it from you he must know, or think, that you don't approve of that type of behavior. Do you? If not, tell him you don't care if you look at porn. Better yet, why not look at it with him? It might open up new doors for your love life that you never knew existed!! It would probably freak him out (in a good way) if you did something like that! Just talk to him about it and don't act like it is that big of a deal.

Answer 5

It's normal... don't worry.. I've been married three years.. I know my husband watches porn now and then, if not at home at his work place...there are some of his work mate that i know, watches porn... the best thing to do is... confront him.. tell him you'll watch with him, and make sure to tell him that it is OK. Make it you own dirty dark lil' secret. It is better this way, because you can control him, in sense of when he does it excessively, you can tell him.. you are watch too much... and that you guys can continue watching tomorrow or when ever. But seriously it is better to do it with him, share all your secrets, learn from it. take of the good part of watching porn instead... sit down and watch with him... trust me, sex after watching porn makes sex extra good. Also, when watching porn, check out his reaction towards a certain detail he is interested in, learn from it... and then practice it on him.. he will love you for it...
it's like they say.... If you can't beat them join them...
trust me, based on my own experience, the more you try to stop him from doing something he enjoys.. the more they enjoy doing behind you, it's a thrill to them...which i bet you obviously don't want your husband to do....
And remember, if you do what i do, which is watching porn with your husband, if at all you get tired of it, you can tell him, that you had too much of it.. and that it's time to rest from watching porn, have an understanding... this way will help your husband to control his obsess in watching porns....
And then, continue, then you feel that it has been long enough. or delay it... but it is always good to stop doing things or dropping habits gradually....

Answer 6

He might hide it from you because he is afraid of you getting angry, or getting upset (which it seems like you might be) ... You might completely satisfy him, but I believe it's healthy to (I'll say) spend some quality time with yourself. There's nothing wrong with it, and there's nothing wrong with him looking... It's far better to window shop than to blow all your money. If he was cheating on you, that would be a problem.

If it really bothers you, ask him about it, but I don't think you would have the right to tell him to stop. It would just make him resent you for that. I had a friend who forbid her boyfriend from looking at porn... he once showed me the 10 different folders you had to go through on his computer to get to his porn. If he likes to look at it, he's going to look at it... let him do it openly rather than in secret behind your back. That is going to create far worse problems in your marriage.

Answer 7

He trying to hide either because he want's to surprise you in the bedroom with a new move or he is fearful of your reaction. It is very common for men to look at porn married or single. I mean your husband might be voyeur. Don't feel bad as if you're doing something wrong in the bedroom. It's something men like to do.

Answer 8

We watch porn because we like it. Variety is the spice of life. I think it's safe to generalise and state that few men would be happy with only looking at and thinking of a single woman for his entire life. (Of course, we have to say we are to keep women happy)

Visuals are a powerful stimulant for men. I watch porn and my wife knows it. I have a site that could be considered porn.

But I don't watch it with her. She has a way of commenting negatively on everything that just destroys the mood. She will laugh and point at impossible techniques, fake boobs, stupid facial expressions, etc., and would, by her very presence, not allow me to enjoy it.

Answer 9

There are different reasons why a man watches porn if he is married and i will tell the ones i think they might be:

First, he might have been addicted to porn before even he got married and he can't stop it now and maybe in this case, he needs to talk to you and maybe he needs a sex therpist.
Second, some married men try to look for more excitement or ways to bring to thier wives, so they try to look at different things, so they can apply them with them.

Third, he might got alittle bit bored of having sex with no spice and i advice you both try different sex positions and so one so you can spice things up

It is recommended you talk to him, but ask him why he is watchin porn and let the focus be the action, not the person so he doesn't become defensive!

If you think it might be a big problem, you can suggest that both of you watch it and have fun!

Answer 10

Most men are visual. They cannot keep their eyes one one person. Yes he does still love you. It is a man thing.Let him look at porn all he wishes. He hides it because he is afraid you will get upset and divorce him. I would watch for other things that he maybe trying to hide.