I have been having unprotected sex with another lover for the past 6 months. Is there any way I can find out who the father is without my husband knowing? Specifically I was hoping for a fetal DNA test. I love the other man, but he doesn’t possess the financial or housing support for my impending baby, so I would prefer to stay with my husband. I think my husband has been having sex with other women so I don’t feel that bad about cheating on him. The other man looks like my husband, so do you think my husband will notice the difference if he is not the biological father?
2007-07-03 17:40:49 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If the wind blows in the other direction and the other man gets wind of the baby, he could apply for custody.
It is one thing to cheat on your husband or wife. It is another to make that person pay for the other person's child and to play a game of charades with him that this is his father.
You also cheat your baby out of knowing who his real father is especially if there are any health concerns, blood transfusions in the future. Your child might think they are okay based on the person you call his father. Meanwhile, the biological dad could have some family medical mental illness problem in their family tree that needs to be known.
It sounds like you're just looking for a "sugar daddy" to support you and your baby. Time to either work on the marriage through counselling or leave your husband for the other guy and raise your baby with him.
A blood test will give a good indication of the father. If the child has the same blood type that might be a good indicator but it is not always reliable.
It is one thing to "think" your husband is having an affair and another to actually "know" he is having an affair.
Either way, it doesn't give you a license to drop your panties or spread your legs to the first guy that comes around giving you some attention.
2007-07-03 17:57:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only way you can have a DNA test is if you wait until AFTER the baby is born. There is no such thing as a "fetal DNA test". IF this child is NOT your husband's then your husband is NOT by LAW required to support this coming child. You should have thought about THAT before you started phucking around on your husband. The only one who is liable to support a child is the biological parent unless that parent signs away all parental rights AND a non-biological parent WANTS to adopt the child. You can't force your husband to support a product of YOUR adultery just because the bum you decided to fornicate with is not financially stable enough to support a child. That was the CHOICE you made.
2007-07-03 20:01:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn Girl, It seems to me that you shouldn't be married. I mean really. You don't want to leave your husband because the other guy is not as financially sound as he is. Girl, what you sound like is a gold digger!!! I feel sorry for that innocent little baby, for real! Really, that child has absolutely NO choice in this situation. The least you could do is to do the right thing. Either straighten up your act, or fess up! One or the other woman! I mean talk about having your cake and eating it too. You are as bad as some men I know. Your kind give other wives a bad name. I'm not sure I appreciate that. Get real with it! Your friend on line, Terry
2007-07-03 18:34:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't suggest adding more dishonesty to the relationship than there already seems to be.
Even if the child could be passed of as your husbands, there could be "bumps" down the road where it could be found out.
Example: For instance if your child is in an accident and they ask family members for blood donations- and it's found that your child's blood type isn't the type that would result from mixing your blood type and your husband's. That is sure an awful way for a father to find out a child is not theirs, and most importantly, a bad way for a child to find out the truth as well.
Lives based on lies are never good.
Be upfront and be honest. Even if he has a relationship on the side as you suspect, it doesn't give the right to be so dishonest to a child of yours.
2007-07-03 18:44:04 · answer #4 · answered by LE!SA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget the DNA test unless you want to pay alot of money. Tell your huband you've been cheating and let the chips fall where they may. Life has a way of coming back and biting you in the butt...best to get you whoopin now cause it could be worse later. Plus if you gonna cheat on your husband you could have been smart enough to cheat with someone who could take care of you....maybe you wanted to get in this situation cause most people know that unprotected sex leads to babies, disease or both. Get your life together for yourself and your baby.
2007-07-03 17:53:46 · answer #5 · answered by answergirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have absolutely NO RIGHT to pass the child off as your husband's if the child isn't.
How about thinking of the child and not yourself? What if the child becomes gravely ill, and needs a donation only a biological relative can provide - and you aren't eligible? What happens then? You let your child die because you are too much of a coward and a gold digger to tell the truth?
You are someone that doesn't deserve the blessing of a child.
2007-07-03 17:46:56 · answer #6 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
"impending baby"!!! I think you should read what you've written. It's not exactly romantic is it? What a mess. You've got to stop papering over the cracks and start being honest and take some responsibility for your actions. Parenthood is really hard but equally rewarding. Don't taint it by starting your childs life as a lie. It's like cancer, it will eat away at you. Of course, you have to be human first!
2007-07-04 04:51:54 · answer #7 · answered by Dana Weasley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have dug a deep hole for yourself and now you want to lie and save your marriage. The only reason you want your husband is the fact he makes more money than your lover. You try to justify your affair by saying you suspect he is cheating too. Do you know this for a fact? You need to look in the mirror and think about what kind of person you are!
2007-07-03 18:03:41 · answer #8 · answered by Tex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG... why r you 2 together??? You baby deserves to have parents who love and respect each other, not ones who cheat and are only together for finance.
It is important for a baby to have stable housing but why don't you provide it for your baby and stop relying on a man. It's not a healthy situation but to answer your question, why dont you have a DNA test with the other man and then your husband wont need to know. its still not fair to anyone tho
2007-07-03 17:50:35 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi: I am not here to judge you be cause I'm not god, According to my beliefs and my own personal oppinion I do not agree on cheating, but what is done is done, I believe you need to be honest, if you are not honest chances are that your husband might find out and then you will end up alone with the baby, if you are honest it might work out, just remember that what goes around comes around, just think twice things over.
I wish you the best, and blessings for your baby
2007-07-03 17:59:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋