Have you ever wondered what your life would have been like if you would born straight?

Question

I have. It's kind of scary. Picturing myself with a wife, etc. Up until I was about 14 my thoughts about life were having a wife and kids etc. I even had a girlfriend and went with her to her freshman prom (we broke up after she cheated on me, I was in love with here though, puppy love or whatever). A few years later when I realized I was Gay she wanted to get back together, I was in the military at the time (still in denial) and tried to make it work but things just weren't working (if you get my drift). I later told her (even though I gave it my best), that it wasn't her, it was me. But I still remember when we were about 16 we drove by the Mayor's house (drunk off our butt's) and saying that we would have a house like that when we get married. Did you have any experience's like that. Not that I think (knowing now) that it would ever worked out. But do you ever wonder what kind of life you would be living if you weren't Gay. It's kind of scary to me.

Answer 1

Never really wondered after the full realization of what & how being homosexual would impact my life that "society" did so well at dictating. Her name was Wendy. We grew up together ... I remember the first time I met her was at her house .. and she was in her backyard swimming. She was wearing a brown multi-colored bikini with threaded beads. We were both 5 years old. I thought then and for some years after that she was going to be wife, my best friend and the mother of my children.

We went to elementary through high school together. And we even took classes together in college. Our families vacationed together. It couldn't have been a more obvious set-up.

What I knew at 4 years old, I consciously realized at 12.

About 6 years ago, Wendy got married. And I was there, and her mother told me in confidence that I was the only one from her childhood that just had to be there for her. Wendy cried in my arms, and I expressed my happiness for her. We had already had the conversation about our dreams as children. She felt the same for me as I did her.

We will always have that closeness; we still have secret-names for each other. When she had her first child a few years back, within the hour her husband had emailed me photos. She will always mean a lot to me.

Answer 2

Dude: You can be as happy as a gay person as you can as a straight person. You'll learn to be happy with yourself eventually. You'll have to. Find yourself a loving boyfriend.

Personally, I never have to any great extent. No more so than I have imagined what my life would be like as someone I'm not.

I think you are feeling sad about being gay. That's why you are thinking about and imagining that your life would be better as a straight person.

News flash: there is no such thing as the perfect human condition. You are thinking that being some way is a 'better/happier' way to be than another. This simply isn't true. Your experience of life is subjective and you just can't compare it to someone else's.

Also, 'gay' is not spelt with a capital letter unless it is at the start of a sentence.

I have imagined what it would be like if I had been born an Arab Sultan and was obscenely wealthy. Can you imagine being so rich you buy a house for a 100 million dollars to just stay in occasionally? But that's just the thing...you are looking at someone else's life and you are thinking they have it better than you...but that's the wrong way to think about life. It's like you are peeking through a tiny door to a whole casm and thinking you can see it all.You don't know the reality. You are thinking there is an ideal of what life should be like.

Plus, hardships make a better person.

That's my unformulated and incomplete personal philosophy of life anyway. Hope you can make sense of it.

Answer 3

Yeah I am often told I would have made a great husband and father. However these are based on percieved assumptions. You know 'great sensitive guy, treats women well, appears to be solvent,etc' However the truth of the question is to ask 'What if you were born to be a different person?' Essentially that's what you're asking as being gay is nowhere near a comparable lifestyle to being straight. To state the obvious the same sex living together is going to have a different household dynamic to the opposite sex. To say nothing for the rest of your life.
I won't lie and say my mind has never drifted to 'what ifs', but I know the reality. I had an awareness of my sexuality in my early teens, so never went through the ritual of dating girls or getting hitched and then discovering my sexuality. Therefore I have lived with my sexuality for long enough to be comfortable with it. However society and the odd comment at (maybe) a family gathering does make you think. However only for a brief moment, as it would be another life, another me and that is to distant and remote to serously consider.

Answer 4

Hon, I was married to a man for 15 years, kids, white picket fence, stay at home mom, charity work. Of course I was in denial the whole time and when I finally stopped long enough to look in the mirror I realized I was going through the motions but wasn't happy. So here I am almost 10 years after waking up and I'm married to woman, still have the kids ;), white picket fence, working mom, charity work and it couldn't be better. So what's keeping you from having the life you dreamed about, all that changes is who you share it with.

Answer 5

To be honest, I think my life would have been a whole lot easier. As with most gays, I have struggled with my sexuality, and dealt with a lot of ignorance, and learning to love myself in spite of the negativity, has too, not been easy. It has been a challenge, to say the least. We are often ostracized and condemned, and the people who are suppose to love us most, tend to do otherwise. Therefore, any gay/lesbian person who hasn't wondered what it would be like to be straight, is quite unique. It has to have crossed your mind at least, once. As for dating girls, I knew deep down inside that it wasn't for me. Yes, I experimented, a little, but it was never that serious. I was pretty much, going through the motions, and had the good sense, to know it. Long before I was eighteen, I knew exactly, who I was. I had little doubt, and feel fortunate, to have come, full circle. I am here, and have God, to thank for it, and besides, somebody has to be different. Oh, get over it. It was meant, in a good way.

Answer 6

i actually remember the days when i thought i was gonna have a "nomal" life. it would have been just like the disney movies where the princess marrys the prince and they live happily ever after.
and then i look back on that and think "where the hell did that go?"
whatever happened to my american dream? oh yeah,i was born without the correct genes for it. thats what happened. i could have had a husband and biological kids and had a completely normal life.i could have gotten married and lived happily ever after.

i know what my life would have been like because i can imagine it so clearly.
but i'm glad it wasnt like that,because i never would have been truly in love. and i want to love with all my heart instead of being in denial.

Answer 7

I have wondered the opposite.

My best friend and I love each other. We have been dear friends for over 30 years with never a major disagreement. We have each known our share of male jerks. We discussed this. If only sexuality was a choice. If only we could choose to be sexually attracted to each other, wouldn't our life be a lot easier? We are both attracted, physically, to men. So, we will both be alone for a long time.

Answer 8

I did when I was younger, but that was limited to my current situation at the time. Getting kicked out of the house, losing friends and what-not. But, when I finally got comfortable with my sexuality, it never crossed my mind again. I couldn't imagine my life now being much different if I were straight.

Answer 9

Probably would have gotten some girl pregnant. Joined the military. THEN marry the girl... or not. Work a dead-end job to support my kid, and never leave that piss-ant town I grew up in.

At least... That's what happened to most of the kids I grew up with.

Answer 10

I have pondered the same from time to time. I feel I would still essentially be me if I was straight. My sexuality isn't the defining part of my personality. I would still be a loving caring person. Just I would have a girlfriend now instead of a boyfriend.