When a man loved his wife and she cheated on him and they divorced, how do you convince him you are different?

Question

He already knows how compassionate, charming etc. she is..
He has a high inclination that she likes him.
He had flirted with her.

His ex-wife cheated on him, maybe I didn't make that clear?

Answer 1

Give him time & opportunities to see the difference.

Answer 2

It is going to take a lot of time and a lot of trust building experiences before he will be able to trust again. Words alone won't do it. Get in there and establish the relationship. If you continue to like him and he meets your needs keep up the caring and trusting over a long time and he will come around. Don't expect it will be easy. Then be careful....maybe the wife cheated because of some problems in the relationship. While the choice to cheat and the responsibility for that is hers alone, there might have been problems in the relationship that made the relationship vulnerable. How did he contribute? Good luck and go slow for both your sakes. I think its great both you and he want to try despite old hurts.

Answer 3

There's nothing the new woman can do but be loving, patient, and kind but only to a point. The issue of mistrust is HIS issue and she should only be patient with him for so long. Afterall, it's not fair to continually punish the new woman for something the old ex did. Eventually he will have to move on and realize that not all women are like that. Like I said....it's HIS issue, not the woman's so she shouldn't feel responsible for changing him.

Answer 4

Not true with" Once a cheater always a cheater"
If she cheated on him when he expressed his love every day, then she's a hoo hoo..but if there were problems between the two, and she cheated, its understandable. I dont believe people cheat unless there's a reason, but there are the few out there who just can't commit.
To gain it back, you would have to change who you are completely to show your devotion.

Answer 5

Lies were part of the affair; be truthful in everything.

Secrecy kept the affair going; be an open book.

Loneliness likely incubated the affair; share your inner thoughts with each other.

Flirting opened up the affair; Be true in actions and thought.

Sex may have become boring; Be open to innovation.

These things applied over time will win him if he allows himself to be won.

Answer 6

There is no convincing unless the guy truly gets over it on his own. Heartbreak is just like alcohol only time will fix it. All you can do is let him know that you care and that you'll give an ear, your heart, and your time until he works through all of it.

Answer 7

You don't have to convince him that you're not like his cheating ex. If he doesn't have enough intelligence to understand that everyone is different, and everyone deserves to be given a chance, then he's a moron and not worth wasting your time over.

Answer 8

Try a friendship first and move forward!

Getting cheated on is the worst feeling in the world believe me on that one!

Answer 9

You shouldn't have to spend your entire relationship trying to convince your partner you love them, and only them. This man needs time to heal past pains. Don't rush into anything with him, or he'll end up resenting you (the woman).

Answer 10

Its going to take time for him to trust again so time and love will show him that the new lady is different.

Answer 11

By your actions, not words...by showing him the real you and not living in a cheaters past...cheaters are losers and don't deserve the committed people they are with....just be yourself and don't cheat and he will trust your actions and go from there.