she tells me that im the only one she's counting on and without me, she'll be nothing. look, i know for a fact that if i do break up with her she's not gonna go home, to school, to therapy, take her medication - basically ruin her life and she just might kill herself. thing is, i usually make her cry and give her heartaches but for some masochistic reason, she doesnt wanna break up with me. wouldnt it be much easier if she was willing to break up too? i just want her to replace me with someone else and that would make me really happy. i hate my life. it really sucks to be me. i just wish that i never entered this relationship in the first place. i feel trapped. help...
2007-07-03 16:46:19 · 25 answers · asked by like, totally! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There is nothing more miserable than staying in a relationship with someone because you feel obligated to NOT hurt them. By doing this you are hurting yourself. Try talking to one of her good friends or parents, let them know you are concerned about her, but that you need out of the relationship. Prepare them to be there to help her through.
I hope she's not playing insecurity games to keep you from leaving.
2007-07-03 16:53:39 · answer #1 · answered by snappygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. I have had that happen to me with my ex husband. It was a form of manipulation and control. He had me right where he wanted. If someone wants to kill themselves they will. No intervention from any one source has ever prevented a person from doing so if thats exactly what they want to do. You are not making that choice, she is. If you keep feeling responsible for her, you will continue to feel trapped. It will help if you make it really clear to her that you want to end the relationship and that means sever all ties. No communication. As harsh as it sounds, if its over its over. Eventually she will get passed it. Perhaps you can let her family and friends know how shes behaving so that she can get the support she needs. There is never an easy way out when a relationship is over. Someone is always going to get hurt. Thats one of the consequences of love. You will both get through it over time.
And wishing you never entered the relationship in the first place... Well life is full of lessons and learning. Good luck!
2007-07-03 17:12:27 · answer #2 · answered by *~ MsLilViXoN~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If Kathleen was a true friend, then she wouldn't have ditched you for Marie. You shouldn't be so pissed, let go of your bitterness, it's better that you found out that Kathleen was the type who'd abandon a friend for someone rich and snobby otherwise you'd just be a fool. It's hard for you right now, but you'll be ok. Why do you want Kathleen back? She'd only hurt you again, and even if you do get her back, can you honestly say you'll trust her again. There are people like that out there. People you once thought were your best/close friends turned out to be something else. They're not worth it. But there are also people out there who really do care about you. Those people will be your true friends. Forget about Kathleen and even if she comes crawling back in the future, and if you really do want to, then forgive her, but don't keep her as a close/best friend. Just a regular friend, so you won't get hurt again.
2016-05-17 22:09:51 · answer #3 · answered by tamesha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my first instinct was to say "very carefully", but your damned if you do and damned if you don't. I think part of it, is that she knows that telling you that crap is going to make you feel guilty and crazy, so that you'll stay. The other part is is she is suicidal, which is very unfortunate for everyone involved. My advice would be for you to tell her family of your intentions, and make them understand that this isn't working, so they can be there to watch over her. Seriously, what are you going to do die with this woman? I mean "until death do us part"? I don't think that is your intention. Your being manipulated bud, and you need to go on, your not her keeper. Just tell her family or close friend, and good luck, I know you have a heavy burden.
2007-07-03 16:54:46 · answer #4 · answered by brooklynsss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with her friends and/or relatives. Tell them you plan to break up with her. That way they will be on alert and watch out for her. By all means break up with her if you are not happy. Life is too short to be miserable in a relationship. If, by chance, she does commit or attempt suicide, do not blame yourself. She is not stable and eventually she would find a reason to try.
2007-07-03 16:54:34 · answer #5 · answered by corgiesrule 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen carefully. She is blackmailing you and using the nastiest possible method to do it. You cannot not be responsible for her decisions. If she is a minor, notify her parents about her threats. Tell her that if she threatens suicide again, you will call the police. Then do it. She needs more help than you can give her. Tell her you feel sorry for her but that is all. Then stay away from her. You may have to get a restraining order.
2007-07-03 16:53:02 · answer #6 · answered by amoss311 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would contact her parents and have them at the house when you decide to break up with her that way they can be their for her after you are gone i know its hard but the reason why she doesnt wont to break up is because she is dependant on you she expects you to stay because she knows you dont wont her to do nothing crazy and stop taking her medication and school you feel sorry for her and youre scared of what she might do to her self so i would talk to her parents and explain everything and have them to come to the house where you can break up good luck you deserve happiness too!!!!!!!!! their is no future for you if you stay you will be unhappy the rest of youre life
2007-07-03 17:06:50 · answer #7 · answered by foxy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont leave her because you know she might do something bad, support her as a friend not as a boyfriend try and talk to her to see what exaclty is on her mind, you might be able to get her out of that stage where she might commit suicide if you break up with her she gonna feel like she really does have no one in the world and WILL KILL HERSELF
2007-07-03 16:50:23 · answer #8 · answered by alexis_vallin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her its time for your own space and to move on, and that you have a new girlfriend, and ignore her calls and e-mails (all of them) then shell get the hint, be honest and blunt that its time to break up, though do it in person, not over the phone or IM, thats disrespectfull
p.s. tell her you wish her best and shell find the man of her dreams, and its just not you, tell her that u dont feel the chemistry or connection between u 2's, I hope i helped
2007-07-03 16:50:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, misery loves company. The more miserable the person the more needy they are. Call her family and explain to them what is going on. Get someone involved from the inside that can get her the help she needs. Than remove yourself from the situation. Tread softly.
2007-07-03 16:54:55 · answer #10 · answered by LuvinLos 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋