I'm concerned because my husband said to me the other day (after I asked him why he didn't come to me for sex any more) that he has just matured and doesn't need it as much anymore. Is that actually possible? Or should I be concerned something is wrong? He claims, he's just tired of being turned down, so he doesn't want to try anymore. Although I rarely, if ever, turn him down. So I want to know what's up. By the way, we've been married 5 years and he is 28 and I'm 24.
2007-07-03 16:29:31 · 26 answers · asked by mommyem 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He may truly be that hurt and disheartened by you turning him down. Some people take that as "I don't want you" instead of "I'm not in the mood right now". He may feel rejected.
Do you ever initiate sex or is that always his job?
Don't think the worst of him unless he is giving you other reasons to be concerned or suspicious.
I suggest you be the one to initiate sex, spice things up a little, show him that you do want him.
You said he didn't come to you for sex anymore - maybe he needs for you to come to him for sex.
Things do change after the honeymoon stage has ended but it doesn't have to die. All aspects of your marriage need attention and care in order to thrive.
2007-07-03 17:05:03 · answer #1 · answered by hazel b grand 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he asking you for sex and you've turned him down? Otherwise, it sounds more like he's found someone on the side. It is extremely unlikely for a man who has been interested in regular sex to suddenly decide he's not interested any more, unless it's because he can't perform that much because he's already getting it somewhere else.
If you don't want it and are okay with that, then go along. Otherwise you need to do something about it, sex is an important part of marriage and should not be discarded lightly. It's one of the two biggest things that break up marriages (the other being money problems.)
2007-07-03 16:35:54 · answer #2 · answered by Paul R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about his answer of 'Tired of being turned down'. It is not just being told 'not now', but acting as if you are disinterested in him that sticks in a man's psyche. It takes a lot for a man to be intimate, but it is easy to have sex. Understand? Although it is unusual for a 28 year old guy to be disinterested in sex...
It sounds as if he is making an excuse for the lack of intimacy in your relationship. Either he could just be disinterested or he could be 'playing the field' (You should be able to recognize signs if this is the case).
I am tired of hearing some women say that 'He is not romantic anymore' or 'The passion has gone out of our relationship'. That is total B.S in some cases. A guy tries...the woman rebukes him... and he gives up. A woman can rekindle the flame just as easy (if not easier) than a man.
Plan a romantic evening and surprise him. A little lingerie goes a long way.
Good luck!
2007-07-03 16:51:06 · answer #3 · answered by CajunAsian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy working hard with maybe a stressful job may want sex a couple times a week. The guy is acting like a 50 year old man....something is up. Tell him you are concerned and it's not normal for a guy in his twenties not to have sex a couple times a week. His testosterone could be low for some reason and the doctors should check it. Plan number 2.... go buy some sexy outfits and role playing costumes and YOU start initiating sex and not him....get his attention back and make sex fun and not routine.
2007-07-03 16:37:55 · answer #4 · answered by P B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Practice more open conversations for one, also I agree that a weekend getaway would be the perfect idea to start. Plan out a weekend getaway, whatever type of jewelry your wife likes, a nice classy restaurant for dinner, and then a relaxing evening or two away from home, check with local resorts for lodging info for their suites, now is the perfect time as it's the off-season, you can get a $600 a night suite some places for 1/4 of that. And if that doesn't spice up your relationship, just remember these 2 words... "the butt"
2016-04-01 06:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not normal at all I can tell you this much. you better start to look into this problem don't wait till it is to late. Both of you are very young and this would not normally happen. I know people that have been married for over 15 years and are still having sex on a very regular basis. You need to talk to him and expand his reasons as to what the real reason is. And I hope you don't find out that he is getting it out side of your home. Good luck.
2007-07-03 17:06:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to have a night out just the two of you where there is no stress so you can both talk uninterupted somthing is definately wrong your marriage is too young to be having this kind of problem usually your first gut instinct is usually the right one so if you think somthing is wrong then it probably is . ask him ,talk to him if no reply then do your own investigating . but from experience if you do not solve this now you will only have more problems down the road hope this helps some
2007-07-03 16:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no way is a guy in his 20's or 30's for much will turn down sex,he is getting it somewhere or during a lot of self pleasing and trying to get back at you for saying no to much if this is something he just started,but he want go long without getting some somewhere.
2007-07-03 16:49:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my husband is 27 and he only wants it if that once a week...he says he is just to tired because he works alot...but there are times when he comes home and the kids are asleep and I am waiting for him naked...so that way he cant say yeah I am just tired....try doing something like that.
2007-07-03 16:51:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not being honest with you. I asked my husband to get a mans point of view and he agreed that it is nearly impossible for a man to just "give up" wanting sex, there could be several other underlying issues. I would keep trying to talk to him.
2007-07-03 16:38:02 · answer #10 · answered by OsMom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋