I'm engaged to a really great guy. We've had our issues in the past, but we are working through them. Recently, however, I've seemed to be attracted to the lure of other guys. Especially a close friend that I was involved with a few years ago. I ended the relationship with him, and I've never, ever looked back...until recently. Though we share a unique history, I thought I was done with him. Lately, I've become so attracted to him, and it appears to be mutual. I want to spend more time around him and just be near him. This feels like a crush, and I haaven't had one of those in years! I don't want to do anything to hurt my fiance, and I don't want to be physically involved with this other guy; I just want to be in his company...I enjoy being near him. I'm shocked at myself because I hardly ever have a "crush"...I don't even look at other guys...but I feel so overwhelmed when I think of this guy. How do I get him off of my mind?
2007-07-03 15:50:58 · 10 answers · asked by Missy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you have convinced yourself that you are ready to get married, when in fact you aren't even close to being there. You are having an emotional affair and that is not fair to your fiance. Is there something this other guy does or has that your fiance doesn't that would make you attracted to him again? I think that you need to do a serious personal inventory before you walk down the aisle so you don't ruin your fiance's life. You may be seeking attention from him in order to feel better about yourself-making sure you are still attractive to men even though you are "off limits". Think about it-if this is the case, you need to figure out why you have a need to be needed by more than the man that loves you and wants to marry you.
You might want to think about talking to your fiance about your relationship and make certain that you are doing the right thing in getting married. Let him know that you need reassurance that your relationship won't change after you get married-meaning, that he won't treat you like his "old lady, housewife" and that he will continue to treat you as he does now.
2007-07-03 16:10:13 · answer #1 · answered by rikki_jo 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I say it's a crush and it'll go away..just make sure you don't end up doing anything to hurt your fiance. If your wedding is in the near future, then consider postponing it because it seems like you're not ready to get married. Think things through before you walk down the aisle. Also think about why you ended your relationship with the "crush" the last time! There's a reason why he's an EX!!!
Good Luck!
2007-07-03 16:03:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you have that big of a crush on this other man maybe you are not ready to be married to your fiance because when you are really in love with someone to the point that you want to marry him you have no second thoughts about anyone else maybe you and your fiance should take some time off or at least wait a whhiillee before getting married you may not be as ready as you think.
2007-07-03 15:57:08 · answer #3 · answered by im whats up! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer is quite simple. You have a decision to make. You must stop seeing one of the guys. I would talk about your feelings with your crush. If its mutual and you think it could go somewhere then break it off with your fiance. Its not fair to the man you made a promise to marry to have feelings for someone else. Pick one and move on.
2007-07-03 15:56:57 · answer #4 · answered by Susan S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not emotionally ready to marry anyone. Break off the engagement. Your being obsessed with someone you "just want to be near" is your heart telling you that you and your fiance are not right for each other. My guess is, you are not right for the "crush" either.
2007-07-03 16:01:00 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are having feelings for another guy, then don't get married. They guy you are with deserves to be married to a woman who wants only to be with him.
2007-07-03 15:54:40 · answer #6 · answered by Carol B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't you think you are already being unfair and hurting your fiance because you are entertaining, even in your thoughts, another guy?
check your feelings between them... let your fiance go if you are this unsure of what you feel.
good luck
2007-07-03 15:59:06 · answer #7 · answered by unhappily married 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you sound like a confused puppy that is chasing its tail
2007-07-03 15:54:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married - you're not ready.
2007-07-03 15:54:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Escape now!! It`s much harder when you actually marry.
2007-07-04 02:58:30 · answer #10 · answered by psychokitty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋