Is it common for them to withdraw from their friends and to be mean to others? Do they like to be alone and to not talk about what is going on? How can one show them support?
2007-07-03 14:03:17 · 7 answers · asked by blue eyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oh indeed... withdrawing is very common. Men.. are not like women. We grab our girlfriends and talk, we verbalize at the grocery store to the woman in line in front of us. men.... hide and retreat and do not discuss with their friends... if they have any.
Men are wired differently for the most part and sharing and communicating and bonding like we girls... not part of who they are... generally speaking. I mean there is probably the odd one who will share and discuss... most I know of... did not and have not. And being mean and beligerent is part of the male make up. They just don't know how to do it the way we girls do. Truly!
How to share support? Good question. I guess you can say... if you need anything... call me. ANd leave it at that. Most men also think support means giving them sex. It seems to be something that they look for.
Perhaps that is a cynical view but it's what I have experienced with my girl pals and their breakups... either marriages or long term relationships.
2007-07-03 14:09:46 · answer #1 · answered by teritaur 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Every man is different. Some guys just like to go wild and act like a new bachelor again, while some guys (usually the more emotional and stunned ones) will crawl into their shell.
I can't speak for everyone, but I would suggest just leaving a guy alone. Guys don't like to talk about their feelings and have heart-to-heart discussions about stuff.
If he needs you, he will call you.
If not, let him deal with it on his own.
2007-07-03 14:07:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I withdrew myself - went into my "cave" - I was too emotionally upset to trust myself "out there".
I was afraid if I went to the bars and such I would just get drunk - or I would sit and whine about how sad I was - or even more afraid that I would meet a female who "took pity" on me - that would have sent me over the edge, and not in a good way.
I needed my time to process everything - and I didn't want to hurt others around me while I was grasping my "new" life.
The best way to show support is just a gentle reminder here-and-there...just let him know if he feels like talking, you've got two good ears.
2007-07-03 14:27:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
It's often a VERY difficult, miserable, lousy time and may involve depression so the behavior you describe is entirely possible. Show them support by offering to listen if they need to talk, ask them to go with you to dinner once in a while--in other words, be a friend. Don't take it personally if they say no.
2007-07-03 14:09:18 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 4⤋
it depends on whether they want the divorce or not. one day they may be happy and one day sad. there will be ups and downs. listening is the biggest sign of support along with agreeing on seeing it their way.
2007-07-03 14:07:07 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋
when i asked my ex for a divorce he said "ok" and walked out of our home that day. i stayed and took care of everything, the finances, the sale of the home, the lawyers, our daughter. he shruged everything onto me and others. i went to therapy, he refused. he never delt with the issues that crushed our marriage and has pulled them all into his new relationship. he never speaks to his family because they sided with me (which i never asked for). my ex-husband needs help, but refuses it....saying i am the crazy one. no-one can get through to him. therapy is good for everyone!!!
2007-07-03 14:09:01 · answer #6 · answered by eb 5 · 0⤊ 5⤋
just tell them that you are there for them if they need to talk . that is all you can do. good luck to you .
2007-07-03 14:06:19 · answer #7 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋