it's such a big problem for me that pretty much my entire identity is shaped around what i think other people will think. so, now i want to do what i want and be myself, but it has become habitual. is there something i can tell myself over and over to stop caring about what other people think?
2007-07-03 13:20:52 · 20 answers · asked by rt1290 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I have the same problem so I do sympathise with you. My therapist has told me that I will never be able to please everyone! So he told me to make sure I am a person that I can be proud of. After-all we have to live with ourselves!
When you find yourself thinking - what will .... think - STOP and remind yourself that no matter what they think someone else will have a different opinion. SO do what you think is right and best!
Good luck - once you get past the hurdle its a wonderful freedom. For years and years I have socialised because people say we are supposed to be busy with friends. The reality is that I much prefer to be on my own and with my pets. Now I have finally stopped worrying about what others think and I am free to enjoy my semi-hermit life style. Finally I am happy!
2007-07-03 13:29:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to concentrate more on how you see yourself, not so much on how others see you. Your self-esteem depends on it! Try doing this exercise (alone and on your own): Think about and write down on a piece of paper things that you consider to be good qualities that you possess. Take as much time on this as you need, and try not to leave anything out. (You can add more later if you think of something you forgot.) Go over the list several times a day. Keep these things fresh in your mind. You have special, unique qualities that make you a wonderful, likeable and unique person, and you need to remember those things and think about them often. If you can do this, it gets easier to accept what you may perceive as "rejection" from someone else. You don't have to be liked by everyone or accepted by everyone in order to like and accept yourself! There will always be people in life that you will inevitably come across who will not like or accept you- and you may never know why, and it doesn't even matter! The "issue" that they have is clearly their own, not yours, has nothing to do with you or who you are! Work on being your own best friend.
2007-07-03 20:35:55 · answer #2 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You will always feel the need to be approved by others. This is who you are. But don't feel bad. You are a undying student... who wants to be graded.
Eventually you will care less and less about the judgement from the outside world and care more about what your husband and children will think. You will try to make them proud of you and you will show them how much you care and love them. Usually it goes hand in hand.
Although, for now.. please realize that those people you seek approval from..really don't shape, determine or affect your life. They truly don't want the best for you...just what makes THEM happy. Is that fair?
In the end you will be standing alone with all your regrets, accomplishments, happiness and sadness.
Try to keep yourself happy. Do what makes you smile. The world loves creativity. Do something that the girls will talk about..even if it something they wouldn't approve of. Usually girls who make fun are really making fun of themselves on the inside. And you will always find someone who seeks your friendship after standing up for yourself. Ever see the movie MY GIRL?
You may have heard this before... the stronger you are the more jeallous they are.
Be silly... people will respect your courage and creativity.
YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE TO LIVE...BE THE OWNER OF YOUR LIFE.
or just get used to the fact that this is just who you are.
Thank you for occupying the people who judge.
2007-07-04 12:18:20 · answer #3 · answered by Lovefly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot of it comes with age and being happy with who and what you are. As someone else said, I think 30 is a "magic" age when you really start to come into yourself and it becomes easier and easier after that.
You have to be comfortable with who you are, what you are and your life. I really came into it during my late 30s and when I turned 40. I stopped caring about what people thought about me because I realized that I was happy with who I was and it didn't matter at all to me what they thought. I dress the way I want, I say what I want, I've gotten a few tattoos (despite comments about tattoos at my age) and live my life just exactly how I want to.
You have to stop worrying about other people's opinions and realize the only opinion that matters is your own!! That's what you can tell yourself. Believe in yourself....because if you don't, then who else will?
2007-07-03 21:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by Jenyfer J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read Psalm 139:1-18. There might have been some events in the past or it could be your environment that shaped the way you see yourself today, but remember that you are special in God's eyes.
Recognize your uniqueness as a person. Know your strengths and stop comparing yourself with another person because no one is in competition of being you.
2007-07-03 21:27:31 · answer #5 · answered by ! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You worry of what people think of you??? that is great and good....it would be bad if no body would think of you....you are not seeing the good side to this imaginary problem that you have.....If they thing good of you is great,,,and if they think bad is even better,,,for you would get a chance to take advantage of the feed back you getting....sometime we have personal traits which are not doing well for us,,,so pay much attention to what is being said about you,,,,and evaluate if it true,,,,if it is not true,, then why worry about it,,,,and if you feel honest and think that there might be a grain of truth,,,then thank them a million for letting you know about this,,,,and try to work with this information,,,so you can become a more like able person,,,and then everybody will love you.....buy a few books on how to be more friendly,,,hear others comments,,,etc. Remember that it is you who accept things from others....others can have their personal opinions,,,but you have your personal opinions, too...And you would not like anyone interferring with your personal opinions.....so its a give and take situation with other human beings,,,love everyone and eventually everyone will love you,,when you accept their good and bad comments.. Important that you evaluate that people are actually just critizising a specific behavior of you,,,and not you as a person.. just because i dont like your hairdo,,,does not mean i dont like you...do not take things on a personal level ...for you dont like everybody either,,pffer love and love will come to you x2, .Remember that no one has to power to make you feel bad,,,its your own decision to feel bad or good about something,,,the other person has no said to your feeling bad,,,,you decided that what so and so said about me is bad,,,NO one can said or do anything,,,without your concent,,,,so why not see the positive side of it....could you imagine life if no one would look or talk or think of you,,,,,you are more famous than what you think,,,,if you put God in your heart,,,nothing will hurt you, and you will see a flower in every corner....angel guasch
2007-07-03 20:44:15 · answer #6 · answered by aguasch7 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You mentioned that you would just like to be yourself?
Do you like yourself?
If you say no or hesitate, then there's your problem. You already knew that you care about what others think of you. Ask yourself why should you care about what others think of you? Nobody is perfect. Feel comfortable with yourself first. That ought to get rid of any insecurities you may have in you.
2007-07-03 20:43:03 · answer #7 · answered by Mercii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're already doing it. There are no scientific recipes what if sometimes looks scary it is life's salt - you'll see! You worried with others too much? Keep the not being indifferent to them as much as you're not selfish from that. You'll learn like every grow ups did.
2007-07-03 20:35:12 · answer #8 · answered by . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That you yourself are a unique individual, and there is a bad side to everyone. Nobodys perfect and nobody has the right to judge you, especially if they dont know you too well. They are just jealous because you are unique and they are trying to be like everyone else.
Be who you are, thats the best you can be. Dont try to change.
-Kelly
2007-07-03 20:25:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to care too much about what people think like you,
but like a year ago, I started to say to myself "who care!!". I was kind of joking with my friends saying that,
but sooner or later, it became my habit.
and then now, I don't know exactly why, but I don't really care about what people might think of me.
it's really strange, but I think maybe it's because I said it so much, WORDS HAS POWER.
I know it sounds weird, but try it, hope this helps;o)
2007-07-03 20:33:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋