Why is there no help for single fathers, and single mothers say they have it so bad?

Question

I moved from Arkansas to my home state Iowa after being granted a divorce in 2006 and custody of my three boys. My ex has reasonable visitation. After the divorce she got in major trouble with the law (she’s completely different than when we were married) for drugs and child neglect (not my kids) and more, and when we (my boys and I) lived in Arkansas she never wanted to see them, so I left my dead-end job with Walmart (in less than 3 years I was the highest paid hourly manger yet could not move up to salary unless I worked nights) and moved back home to Iowa. I started back to college because I have 3 boys to put through college or help them do what they want to do (as long as they work). Now my ex has contacted me (through email) and says she’s remarried but doesn’t have a home they are living with her husband’s aunt.

Her mom (who gets along with me very well sense the divorce) says that my ex left last month after staying there with her husband for four months, and left after stealing checks and wrote them for over $1000 and chasing her step-fathers $900 ssi check, I know my ex’s husband has been to prison for cashing forged checks. In the last two days has demanded that I bring the kids back to Arkansas (or half way) monthly for visitation if I don’t have them their on the 15th she will file for custody. I can’t afford a lawyer because I am a student (I’m in summer classes right now if I stop and get a job I still have to pay for the ones I’m in now and fail) I can’t get legal aid in Iowa because their was no domestic abuse, and I can’t get help in Arkansas because she’s been through legal aid their (conflict of interest). Even if I drop out of school and get a job it will be months before I can get a lawyer and pay bills. What can a man do (there is lots of help for women I’ve been denied)?

STEVEN F, I wish not to sound negitive, but i explained all this (even that I move to Iowa) and that is what they said, they also said that she used them for her drug and child neglect charges, they said that because the divorce was here they could but can't because of her using them lately. Thank you though.

Single father do have it worse, 86% of single fathers do not recive child support, however only 62% of single mothers don't recive child support, thats from bls.gov. When I asked for help for child support they sent me forms asking me when I was pregnant and had I slept with any other men that could be the father of my children, I filled out each line with does not apply and they sent me a letter saying they would not help me because the paper work was not filled out correctly and that those answers were not right. They would not help me, nor with differnt could they.

To be truthful Mattie D and danielle p, comments made me upset but I thought about it and in this country everyone has the right to their own opinion (even if it's wrong); when legal aid says that they don’t help men (unless I’m a victim of domestic battery) and any educated person can see that there is a statistical difference in how things are in a divorce then I’m sorry but facts are facts.

Answer 1

Women are protected , men are not .
Simple as that, it is unfair but that is what the Courts have decided .
It's what happens when citizens vote in Judges with pony tails .

Answer 2

While being a unmarried father or mother is tough for any one, there are extra demanding situations for a unmarried father from what I've noticeable. For illustration, if a father has a youngster with him, and demands to difference the baby's diaper, there probably are not any diaper replacing stations in guys's restrooms. It is small matters like that that may make it extra problematic for a unmarried father. And as was once stated beforehand, even though the daddy wishes custody of the baby for the reason that the mum is not equipped, such a lot courts facet with the mum, even if they can not. It's strange for the reason that there are a few well unmarried fathers in the market, and they do not get the aid and concentration that they deserve!!

Answer 3

Many schools provide legal aid services or know lawyers who will provide free or reduced services.

If not, you may be able to find a lawyer willing to work on a slidding scale.

On the flip side, if she files for custody, a judge will probally laugh her out of court. She has no home, drug and child abuse convictions and you have a home and a job.

But then again, courts are biased towards women. I would try to find a lawyer through ur school.

Answer 4

IMO both men AND women have it bad when they are single and having to raise the kids...I DO feel for you...

Have you spoke with Lawyers which make take you Pro Bono? There "may" be some out there that would...especially since it sounds like it is a pretty open and shut case and that she should under no circumstances have the kids. Their not having a separate home would make it difficult for her to show that she can actually take care of her kids verses pawning them off on someone else!

EDIT: To the person above me, YES, he DID have a question. It was "Why is there no help for single fathers?" and he is wanting to find out where he can go to get it.

Answer 5

If you think a single woman in your situation would get any more help than you are getting, you are either stupid or deluded. All of us have to fight alone when we're trying to protect our children from toxic ex-spouses.

Quit feeling so put-upon. Pull up your socks, and do what you have to do.

If you have documentation (dates, witnesses, narrative of the behavior observed), and proof that she never wanted to see the kids (not just your word), then you can establish that the kids are better off with you. Whether you have a lawyer or not, you end up at the mercy of a judge, who will make whatever decision seems right to him or her at that moment. One little piece of advice, if you get a female judge, knock off the anti-woman hostility, or things will not go well for you.

Answer 6

Your narrative, which is NOT a question, doesn't give a single example of ANY help for mothers that is not available for fathers. The reason you can't get legal aid in Arkansas has nothing to do with conflict of interest. (They have more than 1 lawyer.) Your problem is, you are not a resident of Arkansas.

Answer 7

The reality is that more women campaigned for thir rights and the men got left behind. i am sure you have rights but you need to go out there and find out about them.

Answer 8

Another whiner. Next time, make certain you get to know your partner better before spawning a family. Single fathers do not have it worse. Nowhere in this disgusting patriarchy do women have it better than men. This society is built on male privilege. You made your life.