How would you feel if you had a stepdad that promised to give you money as a gift and broke his promise to you

Question

The money was to help out with closing costs when buying a house.He is not one to keep promises.He just seems to get your hopes up then lets you down.Then you are deeply hurt and he does'nt even have the decency to apologize.Its like he is heartless.How would you react to this situation?

Answer 1

First, I would openly and honestly communicate with him how hurt you felt by him breaking his promise to you. I would tell him that you counted on that money because you trusted him at his word. Then I would stop having expectations of him because he clearly can't be trusted to live up to the expectations you reasonably have the right to expect of him.

My sister's daughter was once hurt by her father's insensitivity on her birthday. He stopped by my niece's home overnight. He asked her why there were all these balloons everywhere. She was crushed, as she told her own father that it was her birthday & they were there to celebrate her birthday. Turns out, her father was just using his daughter's home as free lodging while he visited his girlfriend in prison. Nice guy, huh? My niece was heartbroken. My sister told her daughter to quit having expectations of her father (my sister's ex-husband) because he will not live up to those expectations. She said that if she has no expectations, then she can't be hurt if her father fails to meet them. Then, if by some miracle he goes beyond those expectations, then she can be pleasantly surprised. My niece adopted that attitude and has had a much greater peace about stuff regarding her father. He no longer disappoints her and hurts her because she no longer expects anything from him (he's very selfish). When he does on rare occasions show he cares about her, she is thrilled beyond words. She is happier now.

I think that's how you should handle your step-father. It's a shame that he has chosen to make empty promises that hurt others. You have the power in your grasp however, to deny him the ability to hurt you because of it. First thing you need to do though, is to tell him how let down you feel at his broken promise. Then, from here on out, don't believe anything he says he will do until you see proof from him that it has been done. Good luck!

Answer 2

Although I would feel very disappointed and violated in this situation, I wouldn't let my unreliable step-father continue to bring me down. Instead, I would interpret this let-down as a wake up call alerting me of a demand for more independence in my life. Even though it would be difficult, I would try to find strength in becoming the bigger person and taking matters into my own hands. I would no longer seak this person for assisstance, but instead look to other dependable relatives and close friends for a support system. I hope this helps.

Answer 3

The reality about money is that sometimes when you need it or want it, it's just not there for you. It's not as if money grows on trees. He might simply be too embarrassed to talk to you about it. Don't read too much into it.

Oh, and do try to get over your own hurt feelings about it as well, you come across as overly resentful about it.

Hey it could be worse, you could not ever be able to afford a house and be forever stuck as a renter - so just be grateful that you can afford one.

Answer 4

Lets just put it this way, would you keep something that you depend on (say for example a laptop that u use for work) that keeps on resetting itself & cant be fixed. Hell no, you dont need something thats going to reset when you need it the most.

Now apply that logic to your decicion making process next time your "stepdad" goes "oh yeah ill lend u money". Besides being independent is much better then depending on your parents.

Answer 5

Think about it be pissed and a little ethical too beucase if you think about it when you buy a house you should have that kind of stufff together even b4 you go to the table beucase if you are not together then how do you expect someone else to have their stuff together... then be pissed at him for breaking his promise and pissed at yourself becuase you believed him once again when you already know his shortcomings.

Answer 6

Screw this. I wouldn't talk to him for a month. Make it two months. NO, make it an YEAR! Well, you get the point...

Some stepdads, in my opinion, just figure, "oh, well, she isn't really my daughter, so what the heck? I'd rather spend my money on my own children!"

Answer 7

I would be pissed. I hate people who tell you they'll do somthing for you and don't. I don't mind people not helping out but if you say you're going to then they should darn well do it. Why don't people have the balls to say they aren't going to in the first place if they aren't? Thats what ticks me off about it.

Answer 8

If this is not something new with him than why even bother getting your hopes up? Realistically he is not obligated to give you any of HIS money just cause he said he would.

Answer 9

Sometimes you can't trust what they say, I have experience with situations like yours,

I just keep/kept my feelings inside,

Answer 10

people do that to me all the time so when someone says there gonna give me something i dont get my hopes up high at all