Please help...?

Question

Tomorrow I'll be seeing the person who sexually abused me for 6months about 3years ago.

I can't avoid it because I am going to see one of my best friends in a show and I know he will be there.

I wont be alone, I'll be with my friends boyfriend and one of our other friends.

I don't want to make a scene and I don't want to talk to him.

I didn't go to the police and only my friend who is in the show knows what happened. Please don't say don't go to the show or tell your parents or go to the police, because I'm not going to.

What can I do?

Answer 1

Ask your friend for special seats or backstage passes. Never go anywhere alone for a second and if he bothers you, kick him in the nuts.

Answer 2

Hi!!!
Sorry about the ordeal you went through and what you still are going through... First off to just know you will be in a public place so the person won't be able to do a thing to you is a great thing... You will be surrounded by your friends....and many strangers... IF the person trys to make contact with you tell your friend that you need to leave and if the person persists in harrassing you call the police.. However, if I am a betting woman... The person will not bother you or he will not be there at all.... Try to enjoy the show and show your best friend that you are there to support her or him.. Everything will be all right...
Another note: You may want to consider talking to a counselor maybe in your school or even a social worker or join a group session.. You should not have to go through the emotional and psychological pain by yourself.

I know both my sister and I were molested by our uncle... We were only 3 and 4 years old... I am the oldest... I was 16 years old when I had a night mare... When I realized that my mind had blacked it out for over 12 years.... I talked to my sister who at the time of the abuse was 3 years.... remembered all the incident ever since... In other words, each individual deals with these difficult situations differently....

Please for you sanity seek some counseling... Just think that the person will not bother you at all...ALSO, DON"T Go LOOKing FOR HIM....
One day you will confront him once you have had time to heal and you will forgive him..... NOT for his sake but for yours....
These issues tend to become problems for you in your romantic relationships and in any relationship :You have NO TRUST in anyone what so ever....

Please take care of yourself...

Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

If you're really not ready then don't go. Don't push yourself into anything you know you're not ready to do.

BUT if you have to go...make sure your always with your friends where ever you go (like buying snacks or bathroom). Or at least make sure there are plenty of people around that can see you. If there is security there try to get a seat close to them, and pick a seat as far far away from him as possible.

If he sees you, don't act like your afraid since he sounds like a guy that would take advantage of it.

And if you can, wear a hat, jacket, and extra makeup or even no makeup at all.

Just go on and enjoy the show and watch your friend, that's what you're going to be there for right? There will be lots of people sitting around you so he wouldn't dare try anything. Maybe he won't even realize it's you!

Or maybe he grew up in those 3 years, people change a lot in even a year.

Calm down and have fun! You're stressing out too much!

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

If you must go, consider apprising your friends of the situation. You don't have to give them all the details, or even tell them what happened. Just ask them, to discreetly help you avoid contact with this person. Have them, all make sure, you are never left alone at any time.

If they see him approaching, one of your friends can take you by the hand and whisk you away, another can intercept him, i.e., engage him in some lame conversation. It would probably work best, for you to be whisked away by a male, and having the interception done by a female.

Answer 5

Obviously this is affecting your life and you need to deal with it in a adult way you need to tell some one your whole life you will be carring this with you > You are the victim you didnt ask for what happened If he sees you tomorrow he will know you said nothing and will basically getting away with it. How will you feel if he is doing the same thing to someone else You have to speak up be strong to save someone from this verman Let me know what show your attending and ill sort this piece of rubbish out there is no way people like this should be on the street
let me know how you go good luck and be strong

Remember the sooner you deal with the situation the sooner you can start living again
Regards mick

Answer 6

One step at a time, my friend. If this is what you have decided and you have ruled out getting help then you need to prepare yourself for what you might feel when you see this person. I agree with other posters by not being alone with him. But just remember these slime moulds do it to get ascendancy over you. If you just keep your dignity it will have a huge effect on him but also on you. Final word, be prepared for some surprises in your own behaviour. Just forgive yourself if you do or say something gawky. You are a courageous survivor Wabby, nothing will change that.

Answer 7

All of the suggestions you don't want are the only ones we can think to give, what do you want us to say? If you insist on going, go. Just stay with your friends and away from the abuser. If he tries talking to you tell him, without making a scene to leave you alone. I hope everything goes smoothly.

Answer 8

well there is nothing that you can do if you don't want to go to the police, or tell your parents, or anything else. you may have told your friend for them to comfort you, but they are only so experienced and don't know the pain you've felt. i know it hurts seeing him again, huh? i've been in the same situation you have been in. everytime i see that sick f*ck, its senseless hate that comes over me. i told my friends, but they dont truly know how i feel and they cant even imagine how it feels. when things like this happen to you, its just stuck with you for the rest of your life and eats slowly away at you and if you let it, it'll eat away everything and all that's left are days of emptiness, and it's cold on the inside. there's no need to talk to him if you don't want to, and there's no need to make a scene, and none of that will happen if you just leave it alone. i found out that the best thing to do is forgive and forget after hurting and hurting and having every breath cause pain just because of him, then having him at the control of either getting him in trouble, or letting him go. like amy lee of evanescence says, some people are just bad for you. i know you dont have the power to control if youre gonna see him or whatever but he has you in his control if you're hurting. if you care, then he has you under his control. once you let it go, it just doesnt matter anymore... you're free from him.

Answer 9

Since you don't want to go to your parents avoid him. You may seem rude but you have to do what's best for you. And never ever be alone with or near him!

Answer 10

Since u dont want to tell your parents or the police tell your boy friend i bet he could beat the guy up.... or u can just ignore the guy