what do you think of ma writins?

Question

A Liquid Piece…

The tears fall from your face and you cant recall this feeling of tears,
you call out to the sky.
Screaming.
Screaming.
Staring at the trickling stream.
It seems to hold something unknown.
It looks at you in a dream of knowing faces.
With its ancient wise conspicuous flowing grace.
You grow silent as you colapse to your knees,
Your eyes are blurry you can no longer see.
As your eyes pour out their words.
Each tear clasping tightly a key,
A world of its own understanding,
with more words than imaginable.
Standing to walk,
feeling it in you, behind you, within you, after! you.
You start to run,.. from what?…
For a long time you retreated from this shadow like thing.
So close to you even though you are running away from it.
All screamed out.
Voice?, gone.
Emotion?, gone.
Energy?, gone.
Sight?, gone

Lye silent baby,
It will be ok,
Lye quiet baby,
You know there is a way.
Lye still baby,
There is no question with me.
Lye with hope baby,
Holding you is where I’ll be.
Alone baby?,
Please no not tonight!
Insane baby?
Let me make it right.
Dieing baby?
You are my heartbeat inside.
Want to leave baby?
don’t kill us… you are my life.
OH my dear sweet baby,
Just let me hold you TIGHT!
I would cry with you,
You could scream at me.
Nevertheless, holding you is where I’ll be.
I would walk with you,
You could run away from me.
But holding you is where I’ll be.
You can talk to me,
You could blame me for your confusion.
But in this whole life of pure delusion.
In my hearts arms is where you’ll be.

Answer 1

How much do I love it? Let me count the ways...

Seriously, I think that you need to first develop a theme, or a central thought that you can embrace.

Then, use your words to emphasize that thought.

Answer 2

needs music