Im married 25 years and having a 14 year affair with a married woman from work. It used to work out very well, but now I feel like its such a mess. I have finally found my conscience.... what should I do ?
2007-07-03 11:17:24 · 22 answers · asked by jimmy Mac 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look for cover dude. Because when you tell the 14 year old affair that its now over, she's gonna get to the wife. When your wife finds out how much of a prick you have been for 14 years, she's going to want to hit you with something first and a divorce later. Man am I glad I'm not in your shoes!
2007-07-03 11:23:09 · answer #1 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Oh! boy you lasted this long?What makes you think it's only sex?Your already emotionally involved with this married woman. Only sex can only last one night or maybe a month but yours is years. You didn't love your wife that is why your affair lasted this long,why not let her go so she can have a better life than what she have now with you. No one can tell you the right thing to do because your already so deep that it never matter what you were doing.
I've been married for 23 years when my husband end up having an affair (last year),and he told me that they were just friends when I discovered his affair. Then my husband fell for this married woman that's what you call emotional affair. they were heavily involve for 2 months and look where my husband and this married woman now, her husband divorce her and lost the kids, and mine is not with us and lost everything including me and my kids. So I think you better tell your wife so she can get out before hell break loose......
2007-07-03 11:36:05 · answer #2 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow 14 years, how could you not feel bad for that. I will say that you do need to end the affair now but beware it will get nasty. The other women will contact your wife so make sure you are the one to tell her. It will be ten times worse if she hears it from the other women. Be prepared for the worse, you to let her know and then give her some space to figure out what she feels she needs to do for her not for the relationship since you did not think about that for 14 years. Sorry but could only imagine if my husband told me he had a one night stand how mad and hurt I would be let alone 14 years. Good luck and hopefully your wife will be ok.
2007-07-03 11:33:22 · answer #3 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is ONLY sex, then why do you need a conscience?
Personally I think you need to tell your wife first because like someone else said, the minute you end it with your lover, she is going to tell your wife. Chances are your wife probably already knows but just isnt saying anything. Women aren't that stupid. Just because she doesnt say anything doesnt mean she doesnt know. Second, you need to be prepared for your wife to end your marriage. What you have done is not just an innocent mistake or a one night stand. You have knowingly cheated on your wife for the past 14 years and she deserves much better than you.
2007-07-03 11:26:32 · answer #4 · answered by DelinquentGurl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop doing it, it's about time you came to your senses and felt bad about it, i'm not gonna bash you, thats the last thing you need, i give you a pat on your back for finally realizing this is wrong and you feel bad about it, stop doing it and focus on your wife,,,25 years of marriage is worth saving, stop the cheating and focus on what you have, you havne't lost it yet since your still together, so there is a chance, you married this woman for a reason, so focus on her, don't cheat anymore and hurt her or ruin what you have, take her out, spend time together, find that person you married again, be that person you were 25 years ago, pray about it, but thank god you finally found your conscience...now focus and bring that spark back with your wife,...
2007-07-03 11:25:36 · answer #5 · answered by Nita and Michael 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow! That is really sad! Put yourself in your wife's shoes! How do you think she will fill? That is a really long time to be having an affair with someone. How could you do that to your wife? If you don't want to be with her then you should've ended it, instead of letting it go this long, that way she could get over it and you! You are a sorry excuse of a man! I hope your guilt eats the HELL out of you!
2007-07-03 11:47:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having an affair then you really aren't ready for marraige. The reason divorce rates are so high is because marraige isn't taken seriously anymore. I say if you are just wanting to have sex...be single and go for it...but don't tear your wifes life apart from your actions. Man up, come clean, and live your life based on what you want for it. Marraige should be Monogamous (meaning with one woman...plain and simple)
2007-07-03 11:25:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell your wife and stop the affair. You will have to live with your guilt. If you tell your wife, you will most likely end up in a divorce. What kind of idiot woman would have a 14 year affair with a married man?!!! No wonder it was only sex with her...she's too stupid to have anything else with.
2007-07-03 11:23:33 · answer #8 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You've made your wife a victim. And by not telling her for 14 freak-in years is selfish! Don't make her live with your weak behavior any longer. Tell your wife, and pay the price.
In the end you'll end up alone and miserable. Right where you should be.
Selfish little SOB!
2007-07-03 11:24:17 · answer #9 · answered by jt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a conscience after 14 years, good on you!! What should you do, well let's see, I reckon you should tell your wife and hopefully she kicks your sorry a$$ out on the street. It's men like you that we continue to get bad names.
2007-07-03 11:23:56 · answer #10 · answered by jtgot1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋