Bad that I stopped breastfeeding at 8 mos?

Question

My daughter is almost 9 months old and I just started to wean her and she is taking to formula from a bottle great! She even holds it herself! But people are making me feel guilty! It was to the point where she hasn't left my side...or my breast since she was 3 mos old and began refusing bottles. I haven't left the house by myself, my husband and I haven't had a night out alone..nothing!

Am I wrong for wanting her to be able to be left with her grandmother? Should I go back to breastfeeding her???

I'm not talking like leaving her a lot but you know once a month I would like to go to dinner for an hour with my husband or get my hair cut!!!

Answer 1

For goodness sake what are you doing? Or should I say what "were" you doing? You make breastfeeding sound like solitary confinement in prison!!! Why in the world can't you go out to dinner with your husband just because you are breastfeeding? I breastfed all four of my babies for over a year and still had an active social life. What is your problem? Don't you know how to pump out a bottle of milk for your baby? You could even leave an occasional bottle of formula although that would not be my first choice.
You say she was refusing bottles but now you say she loves them. Make up your mind.
Breastfeeding is NOT the restrictive incarceration that you try to make it sound like! Most breastfeeding mothers love it for the freedom that it does give you. No waking up at night to make bottles, always having your babies milk ready and waiting.....I don't know what on earth you are doing that is making you feel so trapped and confined. By the time your baby is 8 months old she can surely go 4 hours in between feedings anyway. Why can't you nurse her and then go out? That gives you four hours before you need to nurse her again. If you leave a bottle "just in case" how could there be a problem?
I suspect that there is a problem you are having that probably has nothing to do with breastfeeding your baby. You are looking for an excuse to stop nursing her and trying to justify making a really awful decision. Does it matter to you that you are depriving her of the tremendous health benefits of breastmilk? Does it bother you at all to break that bond that the two of you had as a breastfeeding couple? Do you care at all how confusing this must be to your baby? You no doubt have a reason that you need to stop breastfeeding your baby. What ever that reason is, it is not because you cannot leave your baby. That is just plain silly and I have given you several options that you could employ if that were your problem.
If you were comfortable with your decision you would not have written in asking for reassurance from other mothers.
If you want to wean your baby at 9 months old that is certainly your right but why on earth are you trying to make it sound like she was superglued to your breast? If you could not create a way to spend time away from her, that was your problem and had nothing to do with breastfeeding. Don't try to pretend that it did.
Breastfeeding does NOT tie one down the way you are trying to say that it does. You are spreading misinformation that could give a mother-to-be terrible nonsense that she might actually believe. It is important to point out that the things you have said are not at all typical or normal.

Answer 2

Couldn't you pump and freeze some milk so there will be a ready supply for when you do what to go out. But you will have to give her a bottle of breast milk once and awhile or she will refuse to drink from the bottle. I completely understand that breastfeeding can be overwhelming at times since you are the ONLY one who can do it. Eventually there will be even more time between feeding and she will be able to be left. Is she eating solids??

Answer 3

You do things how you want, but as a breastfeeding mom you know the benefits and that the pros of your child's health outweighs the cons of her clingyness. But why stop breastfeeding all together?? I truthfully don't understand. It was a while before I was able to leave the house without my son, but it's worth it in the end! He barely took a bottle once, so I waited till he could go longer periods of time in between feedings to go out. You and your husband could also do date nights in the home. Make the house romantic and completely dress up!! Serve a four star gourmet meal! If you want to stop, that is your choice, but there is always a good outcome to what looks like is currently no fun!

Answer 4

Is pumping your best milk an option, so that grandma could feed her a bottle? I don't know the details but my sister in law froze breast milk, and she and my brother even went away for a 3 day weekend once in a blue moon to have some alone time. You shouldn't feel guilty--- 8 months is longer than many people breast feed, but if you want to continue with the breast milk, do a little research about pumping your milk.

Answer 5

wow, good for you, well done!

i am still breastfeeding my 4 and a half month old because she is flatly refusing bottles.

I don't like breastfeeding and would rather not do it. i am quite desperate to get some degree of social life back! I 'console' myself with the thought that it won't last forever and by the time she is a year or so and I can get some life back to myself and do so for the next however many years, this stage will seem like it was over so quickly...

You have fed your daughter yourself for such a long time compared with what it often achieved and you have given her a fantastic start - but you need to consider yourself too as a miserable mummy isn't going to make a happy child.

Her basic needs are still being met more than adequately by the change in feeding and no one has the right to judge what you are doing. There is no right and wrong. And remember, we get a good dose of guilt in the placenta and it never leaves us throughout motherhood...!

You go for what you feel is right for all of you and let no one make you feel bad about it - it's their problem. Take care.

Answer 6

It would be better if you waited longer to wean. Honestly. the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends AT LEAST a year, and the World Health Organization recommends 2 years.

I feel for you. Really. It can be hard at times to be breastfeeding. But the longer you do it the better it will be for your baby.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Who's making you feel guilty? Don't most women wean or begin to wean by 9 months? Most people want you to make the same parenting decisions that they would make because every one thinks that they way they parent is just the ONLY way one should parent. Or atleast it makes them feel better about their decisions when other's make the same.

With that being said. While I would not personally give a child formula over breastmilk, I have been known to give chips and a soda over fruit and water on occasion, so who am I to judge :-) Also, consistency is very important in parenting, so as the decision maker, it might confuse her to revert back.

Answer 8

Don't let people make decisions for you, and dont let them make you feel bad! this is your baby, your body, and you breastfed for 8 months which is way more than most moms go for. A lot don't even consider breastfeeding, or cant' for whatever reason. I breastfed for 8 months, and it was definitely time to wean him, I needed my body back, not to mention more than 2 hours out of the house alone! Breastfeeding for any length of time is beneficial, and you did it and now it's a new phase/chapter in both your lives. Yea!! you did it! tell whoever is giving you a hassle to butt out!

Answer 9

You've already given your daughter a huge percentage of the benefit of breast feeding. As you can see, she's not at all upset with feeding from a bottle. It will be good for you and your baby to have a little time from each other. Good for you and your husband as well.

Now is a good time for you to decide that you're going to be a good mom for her, BECAUSE YOU ARE!

It's also time to tell others, "thanks for the advice but I feel strongly that this is how I'm going to raise my daughter."

A lot of advice comes from people who feel like they should have done something different and want you to live out what they wished they had done. Just listen to your heart, and if you do something you wished you hadn;t,,,,do something different. You'll really be surprised at how resilient God made these little tykes!

Answer 10

No, being glued to my side would have caused me to practice child abuse--but then I have a large personal space. Moms that are making you feel guilty just want to know that they did they right thing by hovering close. It can get out of control: ask the professors and employers who having to deal with parents of "adults" over poor grades or job performance ratings.

Breastfeeding 9 months is great, but you deserve time to yourself. A husband can be your partner for a lifetime, but a child needs to grow up and live her own life, too. If you and she are too closely bound, she won't have that chance--and neither will your marriage.

Some day you'll be the grandmother wanting time with her baby. Set her a good example.