ok here are some examples for my b-day we went "dutch" on diner but on his i paid for both of us.On our up comming honnymoon he wanted to go as cheap as possible(red eye flight/cheap hotel ect) but thinks nothing of spending 2-3k on "toys" for himself which by the way is more than our honnymoon.
2007-07-03 09:37:53 · 37 answers · asked by stacey v 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Woah. His priorities are way out of whack. He should be putting your honeymoon and marriage first, and his 'toys' last. Sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. Be careful, because this may be a huge point of contention if you decide to go through with the marriage.
2007-07-03 09:41:59 · answer #1 · answered by ad5000 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If, at this stage, he's spending more on toys than on your honeymoon, and if for your BIRTHDAY he wanted to go dutch, you have really, really serious issues here that you need to reslove now, before it's too late.
A man who is in love, who is about to get married, may be concerned about finances. But this guy sounds truly self-centered.
By the way, Bill, if the man were conservative with money, he wouldn't be buying himself toys when he's on the verge of getting married.
Go listen to some good hate radio; you'll feel better.
2007-07-03 10:01:41 · answer #2 · answered by Austin W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as the dinner, granted its your birthday so it would be nice for him to pay but if you are getting married the money is gonna be joint between you two so it doesn't really matter. As far as the honeymoon.... ummmm i would say no not being cheap if he didn't spend 2-3k on himself... I say talk to him and ask why its ok for him to spend that much on himself but he cares so little about your honeymoon. I know i would be upset if my husband was trying to skimp out on our honeymoon but still splurging on himself. I say just talk to him and see what he is thinking and try and work something out from there.
2007-07-03 09:45:27 · answer #3 · answered by christa E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt marry that one lol!! well in my relationship im the cheap one I get mad if he spends to much money on me gift wise like example for my b-day me bought me a movado watch that was like 700.00 and a diamond bangle bracelet i love the bracelet but the watch i dint need a 700 dollar watch i rather save that money for something else and people say im ungrateful but really i dint need it,maybe that what hes thinking but he should have paid for your dinner at least i hope hes not being cheap on the wedding or your ring! lol
2007-07-03 09:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by vanessa 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he is selfish and the only reason I am commenting (because most of the answers here are good) was to the comment "Dont worry they eventually change a little" DO NOT BELIEVE THAT...if you marry him like this, this is how he will always be...do you really want to be married to someone like that?!?
Please really do some heavy thinking...good luck to you
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Edited to answer Bill's comment:
"Ignore the silly women on this site.
Truth is he could be conservative some people are like that and want to conserve cash for a rainy day and ensure that he will always be able to take care of you.
I wouldnt worry about it"
How can you even think he is being "conservative" by wasting 2-3k on toys and not on things for his fiance?!? I am sorry, by my soon to be EX-husband also bought toys too...LOL don't kid yourself, there is no way he is conserving cash for a rainy day to ensure that he will always be able to take care of her...
maybe Bill is like that, but it is a 1% shot that your fiance falls in that category...
Just be careful...he will not change and it will get worse after you get married...please really think about it...
2007-07-03 09:44:26 · answer #5 · answered by poker_fan_in_nyc 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You might have issues here.
Going dutch on your birthday? Please.
Personally I wouldn't put alot of stock in the unwillingness to spend alot on the honeymoon (and wedding?). I think it is pretty common among some perfectly "normal" guys (see the Friends episode where Chandler is unwilling to blow his savings on the wedding - but wants to save it for a down payment on a house? I think that is perfectly rational)
Without knowing his income, profession, future earning ability and his most importantly - personality it would be hard to give a real good answer. But my first impression in reading your comments was ... be careful here. If he isn't mature enough to differentiate and rationalize spending lots of money on himself and not spending money on you and especially you two as a couple ... maybe he isn't ready to fully commit himself to what it takes to have a successful marriage.
2007-07-03 09:51:23 · answer #6 · answered by dan m 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He sounds cheap AND selfish. I sure hope he's worth it. I married a man like that, had 3 kids and after the kids were grown, left him. If you know he's like this, consider if you want to spend the rest of your life with him. I wish I hadn't. It's lonely and not much fun. Trust me. It gets old real fast.
2007-07-03 09:46:03 · answer #7 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He does sound cheap and he also sounds selfish. If he took you out for your birthday and you paid half then there is something wrong. He should be embarassed by that. You really need to look at this and see if this is going to bother you and if it does I would not marry him. It will be like pulling teeth to get something for yourself later. Or at least - don't expect him to get it for you. Does he buy you birthday or holiday presents?
2007-07-03 09:48:41 · answer #8 · answered by Babycat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you see where his priorities are, and you two need to talk about this before you get married because it's not going to change and eventually you'll feel as you're needs or your marriage are not important.
I was married to a man like that, he had all the money for his "toys" but when it come to our marriage he wanted me to save. He never change so I change, got a divorce.
Good luck.
2007-07-03 09:47:11 · answer #9 · answered by Lulu 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes...he sounds cheap and selfish. You should point out how much his toys cost vs. how much he spends on your honeymoon, etc. You only get one honeymoon (hopefully) and that is a memory that has to last a lifetime! Next year on his birthday make him pay half.
2007-07-03 09:42:10 · answer #10 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋