I feel bad telling my fiancee im pregnant?

Question

My fiancee and i been together for 4 years.Just yeserday i found out im pregnant...I dont how to tell him.You see i've had an abortion 4 years ago ( i regret it).,.But i feel bad telling him because everything is going so good for him right now.. he finally got his dream car &just graduated from college.i know he loves me & he regrets me getting the abortion as well.. but if i tell him he will probably think its best for us to get the abortion and i just cannot go tru that again...i guess im scared of what he might say.. he told me once.. he wouldnt want his child or us to suffer..that he wants us to have the best things in life ..& that if we were have kid we we would struggle alot..what do i do?

wow i've never done this whole question thing im glad i did it ..
thanxs everybody yall all have great answers & very true answers.
I really appreciate yall taking the time to read my question & and for giving me great advice.

Answer 1

Decide what you will do if he does not want this child. Then tell him. Very few people are able to bring their children into ideal situations. If people waited for everything to be ideal, the world population would be very small. Ready or not, the two of you are going to be parents. The sooner you start making adjustments and preparing yourself, the better. This is what is called life.
Be happy. It really is joyous news!

Answer 2

As far as I am concerned, the ONLY good thing about you getting an abortion a few years ago is the fact that you regret it and wish to keep this baby. My advice is to just tell him. If in fact he insists on yet ANOTHER abortion? Then leave him for a man that will support you and your baby. ALL families struggle at times. What makes you or him think that struggling isn't a part of life? It's how you handle it that truly counts. This baby didnt ask to be here, so if you didn't want it, then maybe protection should have been thought about? Take this next comment as MY OPINION ONLY: I really and truley feel that without certain criteria, abortion is unnexceptable to all except weak individuals. Do you NOT believe that this baby has got a God given right to experience life? Also that this life should be experienced with it's own loving mother and father? I realize that your boyfriend may think this brutal, but suffering (to an extent) is life as we know it, and if he's not man enough for his real duties in life with child, then maybe he would be better off with a woman who cannot possibly give birth. I'm not stating this to be mean or cruel. It's just a matter that he should have considered before the deed the first time. Not this time as now it's time for him to step to the plate. The solution is simple: 1) Tell him that you are pregnant. 2) Make NO the answer about abortion 3) Let the baby live and learn from you, it's mother. 4) If he's not up to it then fine, let him pay you child support for the next 18 years minimum while missing one of the finest things that life has to offer. Then find yourself a less self gratifying man in order to spend your family's life with.
This statement in whole is that of my opinion, my opinion only and should be recieved as such. I wish you and your boyfriend great success in this matter.

Answer 3

First of all.... he has graduated from college now. Does that not put him in a better position to take care of a family? Was he under the impression that since you had received an abortion befor that you were unable to get pregnant again? If it was that important to him not to have a family... what happened to protection?

He may have said he wanted to provide a good life for his child and you. That is awesome, he can... plenty of guys feel the same hesitation when moving on into a marriage alone! It really is such a material world! (Madonna)

If the previous child was his which you aboarted, you said he felt bad about that. Four years is a while, and his opinions may have very well changed. If it was'nt his.. and he felt bad about the abortion, then he sounds like a decent guy. If it was his and he wants you to have another, then he is NOT mature enough to handle you, a family, or another girl, much less money! Yes material things are fun and nice to have, but you can't take em' with you. Your relationship with him forever should be your goals in love.

I'd tell him you are pregnant. If he wants you to get the abortion MOVE ON You can find someone that is capable of loving you, and the child, PLUS provide you an awesome life with great things!

Trust in something much larger and bigger then you are!

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Life always, always, always goes on. Whether he say's something good or bad, whether he is happy or isn't. Life just keeps on going and the world keeps turning. You don't need to be scared of what he says. He's not God. You don't want to have an abortion, so what does it matter what he thinks anyway? If he didn't want children, he could've used protection and covered his.., Too late now. Are dream cars really more important than a baby? Struggling, to some people is changing batteries in the remote control, for others, it's living out of a box under the freeway. He's college educated so chances are you and your baby won't live under the freeway. If he loves you enough to marry you, why would he put you through any pain again, (unless he really loves his dream car more)? You can tell him, or you can wait until you show. Either way you already decided you don't want another abortion.

Answer 5

Dont be ashamed... it's not like you planned this. I can understand why you would be hesitant to tell him and also agree that you shouldn't go the abortion route. This is life... these are the cards the two of you were dealt and you need to take life as it comes. You two were meant to have a baby. Whatever you had planned, this is the new plan. The two of you are going to start a new life together and once the baby comes you'll both fall in love with him or her and wonder how you could have ever doubted having it in the first place. I'm not saying that it's going to be easy but I am saying that if the two of you are in this together then things will be a lot easier. Make a game plan and stick to it. Congratulations and Good Luck with everything. :)

Answer 6

Definitely tell him and be honest about what you want to do....a man can only make you have an abortion if you let him...This baby is here for a reason.....do you really want to get rid of another baby just to satisfy your own desires??
It's a hard question but it's one you both need to ask yourself...
I have 4 children and life just wouldn't be the same without them!!! They are the light of each of my days!! Sure you struggle...but it's worth it...I was a single mom with 2 kids and boy was it hard...no child support or anything, in NY at that....talk about struggling....but I would not have changed anything for the world....you just can't imagine how much joy they bring to your life....Do you want this baby? Even if it means losing your boyfriend of 4 years?? Do you have pain from the 1st abortion? It only escalates with each one.... not only that, but you don't know if this is your last chance to have a child.....don't brush it off....I have a friend who had an abortion when she was in her 20's and now, in her 40's, longs to have a child and can't.....that was her only chance and she regrets it sooooooooooo much...she still cries over her baby....this may be your last chance....don't ruin it....you will regret it....I'll be praying for you, your boyfriend, and your baby...

Answer 7

Honey why on earth would you think he would want you to get an abortion? If things are going good than this is a good thing. He's already graduated so he only has to work. If your in love and ready to get married why on earth would he ask you to kill the baby that you two made? It's just your inner fear telling you this. He loves you and he will be excited when you tell him! Not to mention as far as the abortion you don't have to do anything you don't want. As far as him telling you about having kids and struggling... he was talking before, when he was in college. It would have been a struggle. He has a degree and can get a better job and now can support a family. and he had 9 months to get prepared before the baby's here. I'm getting married in sept. but i'm waiting 2 years till im out of college so I have my degree and ready to help my fiance' support our family that we'll have. Before you start freakin out about "what if's" and "maybe" tell him! I think you'll be very happy with his responce. Good luck darlin' and congrats!!!

Answer 8

You need to sit down and talk to him. Explain to him that abortion is not a form of birth control. You have already had one and it was not only emotionally draining for you, but that procedure is very hard on a woman's body. It is understandable that he wants the two of you to have the best things in life, however, the two of you have now created a child together. Unfortunately, unless you win the lottery or inherit some ridiculous amount of money, you will probably never be 100% financially ready to have a child. Most people aren't! You just make adjustments and do what you need to do.

Answer 9

It is now your responsibility. You will manage. I was on the opposite end with my bf, we had not known each other for a year, he had 2 jobs to pay his bills and then when things seemed to be falling apart, I had to tell him the news. I still remember his face, I was soo scared, but 2 years later, we are together and have a great family. Yes things were hard, but it brought us together and we are happy. A baby is not an option that if things are going well you can just go ahead and throw it out the window. Things are going so great and plus you have such a nice blessing! You have to tell him and if he says that, don't go for it. Double regret, you will not be able to live with yourself, and why would he suggest that?

Answer 10

You need to talk to him, and tell him you are pregnant again. Let him know how you feel, about having another abortion. I know you say he graduate from college and got his dream car, but now he got accept responsible, a child is on the way. he got some kind of college degree now. So he can get a job and take care of his baby.