My son (2.5 years) loves our hamster, but my fiancee can't stand it. Who takes precedence?

Answer 1

Alot of people are mentioning the fact that you aren't married to this guy yet, therefore the son should take precedence.

However - you will be married to him. The fiance will remain equally fussy and shallow, and perhaps will get worse when he knows he is comfortably entrenched in his new domain. You may rankle a bit when I say your fiance is fussy and shallow, but the fact stands alone, that if an adult man can't stand a hamster, then he has issues.

I for one, would see the fact that this guy even has negative emotions over a hamster at all as a huge RED FLAG.

How would he feel if your son wanted a dog or a cat ? What if he gets a buddy in the neighborhood that rubs the guy the wrong way? What if your son wants to be involved in band later and this guy thinks it's too geeky?

I may be going overboard, but sometimes, stuff like this is the tip of a mental iceberg. I don't know enough details to form an opinion on your entire situation, and it's not my business anyway, but if I were you, I'd take a long hard look at the entire situation, and remember - the environment you create for you son in his early years will form his personality and will affect his mental and emotional well being for the rest of his life.

- Good luck
Kevin

Answer 2

your children should always come first in your life. But still, your fiancee is also important to you, so i suggest u should try to do something to satisfy both them. If your son loves the hamster, why not just get him a different pet like a turtle, rabit, tortoise, etc. and get rid of the hamster. He'll probably cry like hell if u take the hamster, but if u replace it with something else u know he loves, maybe he'll be happy again. Remember that he is 2.5 years old, explain to him why u must do this and get him something else; 2 yrs old doesnt really care for reasons though so make sure u have something to replace the hamster.

remember, your children should always come first in your life, but dont throw away a beautiful marriage over a hamster. Your son will be most likely be angry, and he certainly has every right to, but sometimes u gotta do what u gotta do.

Answer 3

Talk it over with your fiancee and see if there is a compromise that will work.

Personally, I'd keep the hamster. Friends come and go but your family is forever.

Besides, hamsters don't live all that long anyway. Just put it in a place where your fiancee wouldn't have to see it all the time. If you are willing to take sole responsibility of it, there's no reason it really needs to be an issue.

Answer 4

Your son takes precedence. What does your fiancee have against the hamster? Does he have to care for it? If not, then the hamster is none of his concern.
Is your fiancee immature? Does the hamster take the attention away from him and now he's a whiney baby about it?
Keep the hamster.

As for r c here above me...the fiancee is soon to be a step father so he better get used to being an active caretaker for the child.

Answer 5

Your son. Your fiance is an adult and should understand that taking away a young child's pet simply because they, an adult, don't like it is pretty selfish. As long as you don't make your fiance responsible for watching after your child while the hamster is out or doing things like cleaning the cage there is no reason to get rid of the hamster for your fiance. Plus, hamsters really don't live all that long so once it dies (probably within two years of getting it) opt for a pet the whole family can agree upon.

As to the person below me that chose to respond to my answer instead of the question: You answered the question in more or less the same way I did. I didn't say anything about the fiance not being an active parent. I said he shouldn't have to take care of it (as you did) or watch after the child while the hamster is out of its cage (thinking perhaps he has some sort of fear of rodents as do I). The point of Yahoo answers isn't to criticize others answers, you can give a thumbs up or down but just answer the question.

Answer 6

Well, your son lives with you and you didn't say why your fiancee "can't stand it" and I don't see any problems with a hamster, so why is your fiancee so adamant against a pet that is YOURS and lives in YOUR HOME???

Sounds like an unreasonalbe fiancee who maybe you should think about whether this person has other bad habits in interacting with you. The animal belongs to YOU and YOUR CHILD and lives in YOUR HOME... your fiancee has no right to say the hamster must go! Is your fiancee a high controller???

Answer 7

Taking away the kid's pet just because your fiance doesn't like it is a bad reason to make a kid part with a pet. Kids develop strong attachments to pets and its always devastating to lose one. If your son is going to lose his little buddy, let it be because nature took it's course, not because of someone else's personal preference. My dad did this to me all the time when I was a kid. We'd get a pet, he'd get sick of it some time later, then he'd come up with an excuse for why we couldn't keep it anymore. It was always very emotionally traumatic to me and my brother. Now that I am grown I would definitely say that I have issues with my attachments to my pets. Some might say I love them a little TOO much. But I can't help it. Even though I know they are mine, I still have an irrational fear in the back of my head that one day they will be taken from me. Sad, huh? I know that's an extreme situation, but parents should take this into consideration when they think about getting rid of a pet for no good reason. Your son should be able to keep his hamster!

Answer 8

Your son.

He is your blood. :)
How old is the hamster? And why does your fiance not like the hamster? Too rat-like? A hamster will only live up to 2-3 years, so the fiance won't have to stand it too long.

And why can't your fiance not stand the hamster? Not like it does anything does it?

Answer 9

By "can't stand it," does that mean he is moaning and groaning over the very existence of it, or that it's just a minor inconvenience? If it's the latter, then tell him to grin and bear it. I think the kid will freak out if you get rid of it.

Besides, is it just the odor, or is it a rodent phobia, or is just the sound of it running on that wheel that gets him? I can't imagine what a hamster might do that's so dislikeable.

...Oh, and I wouldn't underestimate the awareness of a 2.5 year-old. He'll know it's gone.

Answer 10

Why would you even ask?! Do you have a problem asserting yourself with men?

I hope he's not using the hamster as an excuse for a power play, i.e., a tug-of-war to make you choose him over everyone and everything else. Be very careful and watch out for controlling guys who like to dominate women and their kids.

You haven't said WHY he can't stand the hamster. Is there a rational reason?