This may be very nasty to some, but my husband watches porn while im sleeping (i found this out because of our on demand) and the other day i found a "*** rag" in the living room! EWWWW!!! It bothers me so much and after i talked to him about it, it blew up into this long argument that went on till 5 in the morning. I just feel like i don't get enough love and attention as it is and to see that he watches porn on tv and online makes me feel SO insecure. He says he will stop since it bothers me but then acts like im still in the wrong for being so insecure about it. I dont understand how everything gets switched to being MY fault, all i did was simply tell him that it bothered me.
2007-07-03 08:33:08 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If this is something you are not comfortable with than it is! It should not mean more for him to watch it than what it is doing to hurt the relationship.Addictions like this start out over arguing to the point that there is nothing wrong in it but.... it is when it is affecting your marriage. Garabage like this should not mean more to him than the way it makes you feel to continuine doing it. Some people can handle it and some take it to extremes and some will tell you that it is normal but how it affects each and every person is different. Some view it to the point that it affects the intimacey of being with a real person. In your relationship you have to look at what is best about it for the two of you. I suggest that if this is causing a problem in the marriage you both need to discuss it with a counselor and get advice on a proffessional level. This way you and your husband will understand where to put it. Best wishes sweetie.
2007-07-03 09:17:06 · answer #1 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Priscilla, I am so sorry to tell you this, I dont mean to be mean but ur husband is a lil sick. I am wondering if you and you husband make love often and if u do, Do u satisfy each other? Do u know if he has some fantasies or fetish? You should ask him.Calm down a lil hun, I can imagine how bad you r feeling right now. Talk to him. Get nice and hot lingerie, maybe stockings and a corset or something, a sexy costum. Maybe a foreplay or something gets his attention thats why he goes to those sites looking what he prolly doesnt get at home.
Prolly he just wants something different and excitent and I am sure u can give it to him. Just cuz he watches porn it doesnt mean he does not love you but he should respect you, u r a couple!
Do what make u feel comfy with him but plz dont get mad or sacastic when u sit and talk to ur husband about this.
Once in a while surprise him with a romantic dinner or a new sexy lingerie. I am 100% sure ur hubbie would be so excited to go back home everyday to spend time with u and porn wont be interesting for him anymore.
Good luck and plz take my advice! :) Cheer up lady!
2007-07-03 08:56:51 · answer #2 · answered by LOL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's okay for a married man to watch porn, so long as it doesn't interfere with loving you and his responsibilities as a husband, father, etc. and his responsibilities on his job.
The reason why the situation gets turned into being your fault, is because you're the one who has the problem with porn, not him.
Perhaps, you could consider watching porn with him, and then follow through with some XXX action of your own. This may help convince him that the real thing with you is better then watching it on film.
2007-07-03 08:40:08 · answer #3 · answered by Tweety 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, we have to recognize that men are going to masturbate. It doesn't matter how sexually satisfied they are with their partners. It's just a big part of their sexuality.
Second, if your husband is watching porn to the point of neglecting you, there's a huge problem. Porn shouldn't take the place of sex and if it does, there's probably a porn addiction which may require counseling.
I know it's hard but try not to take it personal. These things can make us feel insecure but it truly is more about him than you. Good luck.
2007-07-03 08:39:29 · answer #4 · answered by katydid 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you may have overreacted. Perhaps you should try watching it with him and then getting a little action at the same time. Me and my hubby use to watch porn together and he would totally forget about the tv after I started a show of our own. Sound like you may be a little insecure.
2007-07-03 08:41:04 · answer #5 · answered by Spirited Virgo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pricilla,
Millions of married couples enjoy erotica in one form or another; together and privately. It poses no threat to a stable relationship.
Erotica is simply an alternative form of sexual arousal; it is harmless fantasy and nothing more.
Regarding fantasy, Helen Fisher ("The First Sex," Ballantine Books, Feb. 2000) says that 71 percent of men and 72 percent of women fantasize while having sex with a partner. Men fantasize about conquest and domination, women about submission and surrender.
Dr. Joyce Brothers says, "It might relieve some of your guilt to know that many happily married individuals who have no thought or intention of ever betraying their spouse have sexual fantasies about someone other than their spouse."
Women should take note that there is a very successful series of erotic anthologies called "Herotica." The stories are all written by female authors - not male!
The latest estimates are that Americans now spend somewhere around $10 billion a year on adult entertainment, which is as much as they spend attending professional sporting events, buying music or going out to the movies.
There are well over 800 million rentals of adult videotapes and DVDs in video stores across the country, and that's not 800 guys renting a million tapes each.
As long as a partner is taking care of his/her obligations and responsibilities (job, family) and seeing that the other person is being fulfilled sexually, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with enjoying alternative forms of arousal.
Too often, a woman's reaction to their partner enjoying erotica is one of offense; their sexual identity is somehow threatened; believing that their partner's arousal and satisfaction should come exclusively from their vagina/mouth/hand. That is sad.
There are men in this world that are totally threatened by women's sex toys (vibrators, dildos, etc.), feeling that a woman (their wife, gf) should receive pleasure only from THEM. That is just pathetic. They have some serious self-image/penis issues to deal with.
If he is fulfilling you sexually, give him some privacy and space to indulge in a little fantasy. Your relationship is not at risk.
2007-07-03 10:54:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No deffenately not! porn is a casual thing to most people these day's, porn is the worst sort of addiction u can have, it breeds killers peodophiles alsorts of slimey f_cker'z. Sorry for my language, its up to the wife at the end of the day..
people are allways gunna watch porn and whack off, and whatever you do or say is never gunna stop a wild w4nker from getting his kicks. People say its natraul, thats where they are wrong! it is natrual to a certain age and then u should grow out of it and behave urself, become an adult and a clean person, porn is for w4nker'z in both senses of the word, people who jack off all day deserve to be locked up, there's more important things in the world dont you think.
Leave the pleasure for your wife to handle, during the day or whenever else people should be helping each other or cleaning this world
2007-07-03 08:44:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I guess it is an easy choice for you to make between him watching porn and shagging or physically/emotionally cheating on you with another woman.
Instead of asking him to quit watching, ask him to limit his watching because if you keep this up, you will end up having a resentful relationship. Join him in watching porn, it can be a fun foreplay. You have to learn it pick you battles and this one you should let go.....
2007-07-03 08:42:21 · answer #8 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are all these azzclowns here tryint to make you think there is something wrong with YOU???
If there is something, ANYTHING, that pisses off one of the partners and/or makes them feel bad, then that activity needs to STOP!!!
Your husband is hurting you....screw what these morons here are telling you...no, its NOT natural and these women that are sitting here and acting like it doens't bother them are freaking LYING!!! NO WOMAN wants her man all hot and bothered by someone else, someone who is probably 100 X hotter than themselves, and coming to THEM to get their rocks off.....
Geez, women have ZERO respect for themselves.
Put a password blocker on the "On Demand" porn site....
If porn is so "no big deal" then it should be "no big deal" to not look at it anymore.
2007-07-03 08:54:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because it has become a way for women to control men. Since porn is viewed by our society as bad, it is easy to guilt men into being ashamed of it. Men on the other hand see nothing more than sexual arousal from new women. It is shallow fun. If it is affecting your relationship this much, then your relationship has much great issues than porn. Unless he is an addict of course. But that is whole other issue.
2007-07-03 08:38:55 · answer #10 · answered by javelin 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋