Please help! I just began seeing a psychotherapist for postpartum depression because I was continuously crying, becoming an alcoholic, and just could not get a good bond going with my darling, wonderful newborn. I'm not blaming my husband for the postpartum, but the lack of bonding I feel, truly is partially his fault. The only decisions I've been allowed to make concerning my baby are what she can wear so far. He even went so far as to not allow me to put a bow around her head when we went out because he said it looked uncomfortable and that I was wrong. I've worked with children since I was a teenager and have been a teacher in a preschool for 5 years, all ages. I also have a four year old son from a previous relationship. Regardless, he ignores any and all suggestions I offer and I really do make them suggestions, not demands. I feel completely out of control. I hate myself and my depression just makes it worse. I am the one who takes care of the kids most of the time. Help!
2007-07-03 07:18:29 · 6 answers · asked by Camnkenzie 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I've always been a good mother and very in control of my life. I don't know how I let it get this far. I'd never hurt my children, but I DO get so angry at my husband that I want to lash out at him. The only reason I don't is because he might strike me back and I do not want my son to see "Mommy and daddy fighting" nor do I want to leave him just yet. I'm hoping this is not an abnormal situation and that we can work through this
2007-07-03 07:21:51 · update #1
You need to put your foot down. I'm all for men taking a part in raising a child...but you ARE THE MOMMY. And Mommy's just KNOW what is right....well most Mom's do. You really need to be firm about this. Also, maybe you should bring him to your sessions and both discuss this issue with your psychotherapist.
good luck.
2007-07-03 07:22:51 · answer #1 · answered by julybutterfly 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What is a fact is that the first 5 years of a child's life is what will be the basis of their life. If you are aggravated the child will feel it and become un easy, un happy. There would be no way to hid your stress - Babies learn in the beginning by sound, visual, feeling, smell, touch .... all senses but the pertinent is emotion. So if you're yelling, etc the child will not be able to speak properly for a while, will learn to express things loudly, or un..... You get the picture = My grandsons parents always fought, yelled at each other. My grand baby was and is still having trouble communicating verbally = he reacts instead.... It's just not a good thing.
2016-05-17 08:59:32 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The need for control might go back to his own childhood, and he should be in counseling with you if you two are going to stay together. As far as what to do about his trying to control what you want for your child as a mother, he has no right to deny you that. The next time he tries to tell you what to do when you are making a choice he doesn't agree with, tell him, "Thank you for your input but I would rather do it this way!" Then, continue to do it YOUR WAY! If he gets mad, it's important that you and he talk about these things AWAY from the kids. Be firm about what you want and do things the way you want to do them. The newness of having a baby will wear off, and things will eventually get back to normal, and the postpartum is VERY normal. Continue what you are doing for yourself. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself and have supportive friends that are willing to help and to listen.
2007-07-03 07:40:46 · answer #3 · answered by ♫Problem Child♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, you have got to SPEAK UP! I feel terrible for what you are going through. Post pardum is no laughing matter. You need to start taking control of what your daughter gets to wear, eat, do, etc. You can tell him to "shove it where the sun don't shine" because you are the child's mother, regardless of the hard time you are having bonding with her. Apparently, you have to remind him that you have a child you raised and you have been taking care of children since you were in your teens!
2007-07-03 07:27:20 · answer #4 · answered by Harley 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seeing a Psychologist AND a Psychiatrist is a step in the right direction
maybe with your altered state of mind you are seeing reality in a different perspective that it actually is
I agree with the bow/headband looking uncomfortable for the very soft skull
2007-07-03 07:28:31 · answer #5 · answered by Mopar Muscle Gal 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you have an abusive husband and you need to put a stop to it now. I hope you are discussing this with your therapist.
2007-07-03 07:26:45 · answer #6 · answered by 3peas in a pod 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋