she has a mental disorder and she doesn't think anything is wrong with her. she was on prozac and when we started having problems her family was asking me if she was on her meds. she wasn't. she verbally and sometimes physically abused me sometimes that I just couldn't take it. I figured one day i was going to lose my cool and do something i regret. she left after one of her mental episodes she has. it's been quit and nice for a change but I do miss her. i saw her in the store for the first time in a few months and she had to leave. she was frantic seeing me. she hints at wanting to see me even though we have attorneys hashing out a divorce. I'm not sure i can take her back but i did swear before god to be with her for the rest of her life and through good and bad. however should it be at my expense and the expense of my children seeing her abuse and yell at everyone and everything? it's a moral dilemma i'm having.
2007-07-03 07:10:24 · 10 answers · asked by survivor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wish my dad had taken me out of a situation like that when i was younger.
2007-07-03 07:14:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I grew up in a home with a mother like that. She would yell and scream EVERY DAY!! When my dad was home from work she was abusive to him, verbally and physically. As a child's view, I felt so bad for my dad having to put up with her. He thought he was doing the right thing due to us kids. He didn't want to break up our home.
But finally when I was 13 he left her. I went with him and my other sisters moved out also.
She would not admit she had a problem nor would she seek help or take med's.
The best years of my childhood are when it was just my dad and I.
I still have a relationship with my mom. I am 27 now. But it is still hard to forgive her for who she was.
I am very thankful that my dad left her. He has been so much happier and even moved on and been in other relationships.
Divorce is never easy. If she where to seek out help and get her issues under control, then I would say you should work on your marriage.....but if she doesn't put forth the effort, then why should you suffer, or you children?
I know what you are going through is truly hard. You have to think about what is going to make you and your family truly happy in the long run.
I wish you the very best! I truly hope you find what's best for you!
2007-07-03 07:40:40 · answer #2 · answered by stinkerblinker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She refuses to take her meds...period. She has the ability to cure most of the problem, yet she will do nothing but rant and rave...where is the dilemma? Are you saying you want to subject your children to this??? If so, I am having a moral dilemma..as in calling the Family Services and having your children removed from both your custody! Get a grip man, there are things you cannot control. If you are unwilling to have her committed, then let her go...and stop with the "moral dilemma" crap. This woman is poison for your children.
2007-07-03 07:18:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I just left my husband 6 months ago for the same reason, it was the hardest thing I ever did since I still love him very much. But I have children to take care of - the way I see it is he had the choice to take care of himself and chose not to. A good friend of mine grew up with the same situation and her mother never left her husband - to this day she says her mom pick him over her how sad to feel that way.
I stayed for years because of that same moral dilemma however once I finally left my kids told me how glad they were and that they were just waiting for me to take that first step and move out. Stay strong - it's hard - I bet you can see a difference in your children (I did in mine) that is what makes it okay
2007-07-03 07:59:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is easier said than done but list out the pro's and con's and go on. I think we both know what needs to happen. I am in a similar situation and trust me when I say be glad she left.
Maybe you should try dating her after the divorce. no one says you cannot get re-married but I would get the kid/kids out of the situation first.
2007-07-03 07:21:35 · answer #5 · answered by I do not know 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love has abslutely nothing to do with this. This poor woman is terribly ill and needs serious help. You've tried to be a good husband - but please understand that God did not intend for any one to be chained to a maniac forever.
You can divorce her with a clear conscience. In fact, it would be the best thing you can do for your children - divorce her and retain custody of the kids.
2007-07-03 07:17:45 · answer #6 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
unless your wife accepts that she is mentally ill and seeks help and takes responsibility by taking her meds and seeing her doctor or therapist then you and the kids are better off without her.its up to her but just because you married her doesn't mean you or the kids should be in a unsafe living situation.it is best at this point to look after yourself and your kids , she is a grown up she needs to act like one.good luck.
2007-07-03 07:20:59 · answer #7 · answered by dixie58 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes letting go of someone is very difficult and it seems to me that you are doing the right thing for you and your family. just make sure through all of this you talk to your children because even if they don't say so it usually is more painful for them. make sure they understand there mother's situation and that she loves them. and most of all you have to stop regretting/worrying about your decisions.
keep your head up
2007-07-03 07:23:40 · answer #8 · answered by lesey3 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if she will not admit there is a problem, there always will be. If taking meds makes her a 'decent" person, obviously she should be taking them. She needs help and will probably never get it on her own. If you can talk to her and she will take her meds, you may have a chance. If she refuses, that's trouble. I wish you luck.
2007-07-03 07:20:06 · answer #9 · answered by Brian M 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Through sickness and in health, for better or for worse, and through rich and poor so help me God. She's going through sickness, and you promised to be w/ her
2007-07-03 07:45:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋