Why is it assumed that men cannot control their lust?

Question

It has been stated today in responses to questions that men cannot control themselves when it comes to sex. Men have responded that they have difficulty controlling their urges.
Do they just not try??? Or is it because society has given men the ok to just let those feelings loose?

But "Formerly": It is the MEN posting today who say that they cannot control themselves. My question is "Why"?

Answer 1

Depends on what you mean with controlling lust. I mean you're not animals, but what is most frequent is that you cannot hide your disappointment or feelings of "I wanna I wanna NOoooo you cannot do this to me *whine whine*". I think this belongs under the things that should be kept under control. To my best knowledge most men learn to control that behaviour by age and experience because they learn that is ineffective. Not all men have this, but it's quite common, that I know. When age and experience has come and they still don't manage to hide it, it's because they never learned how destructive it is for a relationship.

Answer 2

Probably mostly hormonal young men coming from societies in which there have been reasons made to control themselves with certain women and excuses made not to control themselves with other women. And the taboo against maturbation common in many religions. Men who are taught as boys that masturbation is ok on occasion, that women are people, and that there is never any excuse for rape, womanizing, etc. control themselves just fine. I've known more self controlled men than not, so it is simply a myth that males can't control themselves and they need to reeducate themselves on the matter.

Answer 3

First of all, both men and women use this as an excuse for cheating. Men are more vocal about cheating, and get caught more often than women. Now, this just might mean that women are more manipulative than men, or outright dishonest when it comes to cheating (or catching the man in the act.) Generally, men are not given the communication tools that women are, and are maybe more likely to use the "uncontrollable urge" excuse, because they can't explain the feelings behind it.
For the act to be uncontrollable, it would have to equate to something such as an illness. Would you believe someone if they said that their illness was committing extramarital sexual acts? Granted, there are individuals who are addicted to sex, but compare that number to the number of seemingly grounded individuals who cheat, and there's little argument.
Essentially, cheating boils down to searching for something that you are not currently getting. People marry out of convenience, for the idea of romance, or do not expect a marriage to be work. Maybe if people were proactive in their relationships, then cheating wouldn't be such a big issue.
It's not that cheaters can't control when their pants come off, it's that sex is one of the easiest ways to express what they aren't getting (much like violence.)

Answer 4

Because most men use 99.9% of their brains thinking about sex and the remaining 1% for everything else. Plus when a man sees a beautiful woman walking down the street half naked or naked on the beach as the case may be naturally he stops to look at her or doubles back to get another look. Men can't control their lust because some women make it impossible for them to control themselves by walking around dressed badly for man's attention.

Answer 5

That assumption is only supposed to give men an excuse and justify their negative acts. Inability of control is NOT an excuse.
If it is an excuse, then rapers and molesters could just as well say 'Hey, I couldn't control myself. I'm a guy, isn't it obvious?"

Lack of control is not an excuse. Just because you can't control yourself it doesn't mean you are free to do whatever you please.

If people insist that men's lack of control is an accurate justification for their acts, in that case women's emotional natures shouldn't be judged either. After all, women are emotional because of the female hormones in their organism. Since we're talking about hormonal changes, it is something they cannot control. But they're still being lamed for it. Expression like 'you're weak' still exist even though it's not something women can control.

Answer 6

Sure men can control their urges. Whoever told you otherwise was saying nonsense. Without control of that urges society would be impossible, wouldn't it? And whether control of urges it's a difficulty or not is another question, most of us have no problem with self control, difficult or not... You were on verge of gouging someone's eyes out many times in your life, but you didn't do that, am I right?

:)

Answer 7

It's just a stereotype. For instance: Most ppl think black men are huge. Most ppl think guys can't control there lust. Most ppl think woman don't enjoy sex as much as men. They're all wrong.

Answer 8

Just how many other women have heard men threaten to:

a. kill themselves;
2. do something 'dreadful'
3. lose all control;
4. be fatally ill;
5. be a danger to society
6. bring disgrace on his family;

if we didn't surrender.

Their extraordinary distress would persuade some young girl to perform any number of unfamiliar activities - short of losing her virginity - to save the man's sanity.

On reflection, every courtship demanded a worship of the phallus.

Answer 9

Mercy...Who says males cannot control their lust?
Actually, 90% of the males do control their lust. This doesn't mean that they don't lust. I believe that guys lust most of the time. This doesn't mean they act on it. They verbalize it, fantasisize it, and go to a safe place which permits them to masturbate. So, let them exercise their lust in safety.

Answer 10

Why are women allowed to bitchy and hot-tempered if they have PMS ?? Women can control the hormonal effects of PMS too, can't they ?? PMS isn't really that difference from an innate sex drive right ??
Why is there a PMS defence in the first place??
Ponder that... women are just as prone to defending "double standards" as men are.

In the dating game or even marriage, a man can try to initiate sex with a woman, but obviously needs her consent. Likewise for women.
You might say it's mutual consent , and probably in many ways it is, but it is more likely that men have a bigger sex drive and higher desire for sex.

Lets say you want something much more than someone else, would the factor of CONTROL or NO SELF-CONTROL come into the equation in the first place ??
If the other person, in this case a woman, gives consent to let you do what you want more, would you not willingly take what she has given ?? Im sure most people would. Why do you think rape victims are mostly female ?? Power over a woman, of course, plays a major part, but it is the sex drive of a man that causes it in the first place, not in fact, by social conditioning, as many like to believe.