Let me start off by saying that I am truly in love with my wife, but I have always had a minor attraction to her sister (2 years younger). It was never anything serious, but lately, I have been fantasizing about her. Whenever she is around I keep checking her out. There are even times when she initiates sexual playful banter with me.
She is unmarried and right now is not seeing anyone. So she is over at our house a lot. I'm getting to the point where it is harder for me to be around her because I'm afraid something might happen.
Am I worried about nothing or do you guys think this is a real problem? What should I do? Has anyone experienced a situation like this?
Serious advice please!
2007-07-03 05:59:33 · 26 answers · asked by C-243 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Serious advice? Got a serious question? What are you? Some undisciplined trailer trash who belongs on Jerry Springer?
Man, people with high integrity don't have such problems. They have too much self respect and respect their spouses.
2007-07-03 06:08:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
1
2016-12-20 15:12:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Attracted To Sister In Law
2016-11-10 07:06:40 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its probably a normal thought. Especially if the two girls look alike. The lil sis reminds you of your wife when she was a little younger. They probably have similar personalities as well, so her demenor is something your already used to and attracted to.
That being said - do NOT allow yourself to cross that line. There is absolutely NOTHING good that can come of it and the potential for disaster is HUGE !!!
I would refrain from the innocent flirting or "banter" as you call it. She is probably just trying to make sure she is attractive to a male right now (as she is not married and has no boyfriend). Many women (whether they'll admit or not) are attention whores. On a subconsious level they need to KNOW that a man (any man) find them attractive, especially if they are not in a relationship. It gives them validation of their womanhood and sexuality. It makes them feel wanted.
Understand that this is harmless. However, for either of you to act on it is NOT harmless. If you feel too much temptation, just steer clear of her for awhile. Make excuses to get out of the house when she's over, etc.....
Do NOT, I repeat do NOT discuss this with her OR your wife. It will only set off fireworks that you don't need to light. Only if she comes on to you would I discuss it with your wife - even then be VERY careful it could blow up in your face. Better to just tell the s-i-l that you are very flattered by her attention, but that your very much in love with your wife and leave it alone in the future.
Best of luck - its hard when temptation is right under your own roof.
2007-07-03 06:11:40 · answer #4 · answered by aa889d 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have a real problem. For one, you have always had a minor attraction to her? How fair is that to your wife? You say you SIL initiates sexual banter...are you sure or are you reading way too much into her playfulness because you want it to be there? Unless your SIL really hates her sister, there will never be anything to "happen" so stop that fantasy right there. It sounds like your wife and SIL are close and have a good relationship so they will be loyal to one another. You are the odd man out. And believe me when I say that you won't have to tell your wife because trust me, she already knows. She would have to be blind not to see you checking her sister out and if you have been fantasizing lately, then most likely your mannerisms have changed and the wife is always the first person to notice when that happens. Your wife comes from a much higher class than you since she is either choosing to ignore this or waiting to see if it will just burn itself out but trust me she knows. And it kind of sounds like your SIL knows too and she is basically making fun of you. She has probably always had a playful banter with you but now you see it as sexual. You need to get over yourself and give your wife the respect and love she deserves or she may just go and find a real man who will be capable of being true, honest, and faithful to her.
2007-07-03 06:48:44 · answer #5 · answered by Catlover 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you have a true problem! You need to tell your sister-in-law to stop! If you truly love your wife, stop! I mean get real, is your sister-in-law worth ruining your marriage over? That's whats going to happen if you don't do something now! The grass is not always greener on the other side! Get over your lust!
2007-07-03 06:11:25 · answer #6 · answered by taurus_lynne 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Um...let me think she is always there and seems we always want what we cant have. Its the thought of being bad and the excitment of it. You could always talk to your wife and tell her you are feeling a little uncomfortable with her sis being around all the time and for some strange reason you get a little excited and it is troubling you, I would , if I were her, fully understand and ask my sis to back off, she seems to be egging you on, and thats just wrong for a sister to do this to another.
Dont let it go any further cause then you ruin your marraige and then lil sis will not be around either, she is just teasing you to get a rise out of you. Use your brain not whats in your pants..
2007-07-03 06:14:01 · answer #7 · answered by mel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yea I agree with several folks in here who have adviced you to talk to your wife first. Just tell her in a way that is "your feelings", "your impressions" of how her sister is around you with the banter. Either the wife will step in to clear her up and then its discipline on your part or the only other thing that could happen is your wife will be real open to sharing in a threesome and not see her sister as a threat. That's a long shot but you can dream!
2007-07-03 06:33:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is your life dude. Your choices and consequences.
You say you are afraid something might 'happen'.
Well nothing is going to happen unless you make it or allow it to happen.
Unless you have no will power at all.
If she is engaging in sexual playful banter then politely ask her to stop. If she is upset by this, too bad. You have a right to expect certain behaviour from guests in your own home.
2007-07-03 06:09:39 · answer #9 · answered by Phil H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
James 1: 12 - 15
Happy is the man that keeps on enduring trial, because on becoming approved he will receive the crown of life, which Jehovah promised to those who continue loving him. When under trial, let no one say: “I am being tried by God.” For with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone. But each one is tried by being drawn out and enticed by his own desire. Then the desire, when it has become fertile, gives birth to sin; in turn, sin, when it has been accomplished, brings forth death.
1 Corinthians 6: 9 - 10
What! Do YOU not know that unrighteous persons will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be misled. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men, nor thieves, nor greedy persons, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit God’s kingdom.
Does this help? Just don't do it.
2007-07-03 06:23:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋