we have been together nearly 2 years and been living together in my house since january .he also has his own house that he rents out ( mortage paid) i have 2 children not his. we sat down and worked out what he would give me each month for bills excluding the mortage but still havent got anything from him.i did have savings but they are going down with paying for all the bills plus the childrens stuff and all the extras that come with being a couple. i am on a little more money than him but do you think i should still approch this subject and well how to do it.
2007-07-03 04:10:30 · 42 answers · asked by helen l 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he's living there, he should be paying bills. He obviously has income since he rents out his home, so there is no excuse for him not to help out. I am having a similar situation with my boyfriend and am giving him an ultimatum. He either has to step up and be responsible, or get out. Even if he makes less money than you and cannot contribute as much, he should still give something.
Sit him down and calmly explain that this situation is stressing you out. Tell him that you feel this isn't fair to you. Since he makes less money, suggest that he pay the smaller bills. If he refuses to cooperate, then it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. No one deserves to be with a selfish person. Good luck!
2007-07-03 04:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by NYCLady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he have a job? I hope your boyfriend isn't just using you for another place to stay, because that is what it sounds like. You should tell him that it isn't fair that he gets to stay there rent-free while you're paying for yourself, your kids and him! If he was really a man, he would go out and make some money so he can help support the household. Do not let this guy take advantage of you like that. If he comes up with some sort of excuse as to why he cannot help out with the bills, then I say don't let him live there with you anymore. You've got to think about your own financial safety as well as your children's, because it sure doesn't sound like this guy gives two cents about either. Good luck.
2007-07-03 04:15:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys had reached an agreement, he must follow through. That is a broken promise. He may have gotten too comfortable with you taking care of him. But if he is working, you have an agreement of what he is to pay, then push for that. You will need to talk with him. It could go on the lines of reminding him of the agreement and that you are feeling a little run over and hurt. Tell him you care for him, but if isn't willing to step up to the agreed responsibility, maybe it is time for him to find another place to live where he has to pay his own way. This would not be a break-up but it would be a step back in the relationship to the "dating" stage. If he doesn't realize how important pooling your money and bills together, then he doesn't feel the relationship is important enough for true commitment.
2007-07-03 04:18:48 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would sit him down and explain that you need some help in making the bills. He knows he should be paying you and as long as you dont say anything he is going to continue to pay nothing. Start the conversation by..." I need to talk to you about something that crossed my mind today" " As your aware you and I sat down and worked out an amount that you would be contributing each month........I am having a really difficult time making ends meet on my salary alone and need for you to live up to our agreement." If he gets mad then send him packing because he is just looking for a free ride.
2007-07-03 04:15:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boyfriends are not obligated to do anything if he is sponging off of you kick him to the curb. If you were married then he might have some legal obligation, but having a husband does not actually mean that he will provide for you either. Tell him if he is living in the house he has to help with expenses otherwise you can not afford to take care of the children and him too. Tell him to put out or ship out.
2007-07-03 04:21:19 · answer #5 · answered by Vivianna 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If his things are in the house and he sleeps there every night then yes he should pay you something but don't make a big deal about it because you are not married yet. tell him you have bills and you need his help. if he doesn't pay you then it's clear the man is a freeloader and his intentions are to take you from the top to the bottom and he will Take your kids there to. A good time to be wise is now!
2007-07-03 04:24:14 · answer #6 · answered by cardona6969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you sat down and figured out what he should be giving you and he hasn't given you anything.-then you really need to talk to him. It is a hard subject to bring up but if you are using up all of your money then there's a problem. He sounds like a taker and will stay like this until you call him out on it. He will do it for as long as he can get away with it. I bet he never offers you money for food or anything else. And I bet he is saving his money for a rainy day. Please open your eyes - you have children to take care of.
2007-07-03 05:22:39 · answer #7 · answered by Babycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is "all the extras that come with being a couple"?
He is your boyfriend, but you should be living within your means so you don't become dependent on him.
I've noticed that women in general spend more money when they are in a couple and seem to think that their partners income is just additional disposable cash to them. In all truth your boyfriend earned that money and its up to him decide to how to spend it or save it.
I would figure out what your boyfriend is actually responsible for and tell him flat out that he needs to pull him weight by contributing X. However, if I were your boyfriend I would want to know what X covers and how you figured out that number.
2007-07-03 04:22:06 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scare him, tell him im going to could desire to discover yet another place to stay as i cant have sufficient funds to pay the fees on my own so ive have been given no decision... he will probable react and say ill help out after which you purely could desire to describe that 'seem, if i dont pay those expenditures ill have a unfavorable credit rankings with the agencies and that i dont want that, so help me, if no longer i could desire to usher in a lodger and so on' i understand that could sound a lil dramatic yet hi it may paintings!
2016-11-08 01:21:49 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is taking advantage of you and he knows it. You shouldn't feel bad about saying something to him about it. If he would move out instead of helping you pay the bills, you'd be better off! If he cares about you like he should he would want to help pay his share. You just go to him and tell him straight up he has not been contributing all these months and he needs to start or he's out of there.
2007-07-03 07:47:20 · answer #10 · answered by Twinkle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋