Am I a lesbian?

Question

I've dated sporadically my entire life. I went through a period where I hooked up and made out with a bunch of guys before I met my boyfriend. We broke up recently after three years and while I'm talking to a few guys, I'm not interested, even though I think they're cute/attractive.

During the last few months of the relationship, I never wanted to have sex. In fact, I dreaded it. It was like a switch. One day, I just woke up and decided I didn't want to have sex with him anymore.

Sometimes, when were having sex - and I feel terrible for this - but I'd fantasize about other guys like rock stars and actors or random hot guys I'd seen on the street. Once in a blue moon, I would curiously think about girls and it didn't bother me.

Lately, though, I have been having dreams that kind of turn me on.There aren't other girls involved, but in the dreams, I either tell people that I'm a lesbian or I am in a place with the idea that I am.

What the **** is wrong with me?

Answer 1

If I were you, I'd see how you feel being romantic with other women. It could just be that you like the idea of being gay, and you're not actually gay yourself. You could be bi and like both. It's something that you have to play around with in your head. I'm not saying go f*** some random people until you figure it out. That won't help you.

1) Do you feel romantically attracted to guys?

2) Do you ever feel romantically attracted to women?

If 1 is yes and 2 is no, you're probably straight. You can be turned on by the idea of women and not want to spend your life with one. If 2 is yes and 1 is no, you could definitely be gay. If you say yes to both... well, like I said. Play around with it. Think about past friendships and ask yourself if you've ever felt like being more than a friend with them.

No one here can tell you if you're gay. That's something only you can know. Whatever you are, be comfortable with it, though, because even though if you're gay you're gonna get bashed in your life... you're gonna get a lot of support too. Don't rush into any decisions about your sexuality. Mull it over. Work with it. And definitely give it some time.

Answer 2

First, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. It gets like that sometimes. The not wanting to have sex thing wasn't that you don't like sex, you just disliked it with your boyfriend. And straight, gay, bi, whatever... we ALL fantasize about someone at some point or another. Anyone who say different is not being honest. I had a GREAT sex life and would still find myself fantasizing occasionally.


As for you being a lesbian, I highly doubt it. Being one myself, I should know. What you are describing is someone who is turned off by what she had rather than being turned on by the same sex.

Dreams mean so many different things. To dream that you are a lesbian (but you are not in your waking life), signifies a union with aspects of yourself. It is symbolic of self-love, self-acceptance, and passion. You are comfortable with your sexuality and femininity. If, in your dream you hate the notion of lesbianism, then it represents your fears and rejection of parts of your own sexuality.

Hope this was some help.

Answer 3

Nothing is wrong with you.

Since you can react sexually to a guy you could be straight but just not getting satified by your male partners - especially since you fantasize about other males.

Since you "once in a blue moon" ,as you say, think about girls, you might just be curious about lesbian sex. You could be Bi-curious (could explain the dreams too).

Edit: Contrary to what the Bareback Dumbboy says - while we feel that being gay is genetic there is no test (yet) for the gay gene.

Answer 4

My best guess is you were in a bad relationship and you need a cooling off period. That's all. If you've never before had fantasies about sex with women and do not now, chances are you're not a lesbian. Remember too that fantasies are not realities. I sometimes wonder what it'd be like too but I'm as die hard gay as they come and have no desire to change that one bit. Give yourself some time. You'll be okay.

Answer 5

You're having dreams. They could have any number of meanings. For example you being gay in them could be a symbol of you making a major switch in your life and it could have nothing to do with your dating life. Don't base your sexuality on your dreams. The fantasizing about women while being with your boyfriend tell me that you may be at least bicurious though.

Answer 6

Nothing is wrong with you.
if you love to have Sex with your boyfriend and you fantisize about other guys while you are doing it you are not a Lesbien but...you could be a Bi. but if it's every once in a blue moon you think of girls i would dought you are Bi or Lesbien. Hope i Helped!!

P.S. i'm a virgin and me and my soon to be Hubby are thinkin' about after our wedding of having Sex and i Was wondering if it hurts? could you tell me at [e-mail]? THX!

Answer 7

You are disaffected by the male gender, at least those you have known. From the rest of what you've written it seems like you have a natural heterosexual attraction.

There ARE nice guys out there. Don't give up.

P.S. There IS no gay gene, any more than there is a gene for lefthandedness.

Answer 8

Being gay is something you're born with. You can go to your doctor and have a small sample of blood drawn to see if you carry the gay gene. If you have it, then you're gay.

Answer 9

relaxe your probobly not but but even if you were theres nopthing rong with you .

Answer 10

ha! the rock star thing is normal....