What do I say to her?

Question

My mother is the most extreme racist I know. She discriminates on everyone who is not white, and I cannot stand it. She wont even let me watch a movie on the living room t.v. if its a "N***** movie" (hope I didnt offend... but thats how bad it is). I wanted to go to the Pride Parade with my best guy friend (who is gay) and she freaked out on me.

I have different view points on people. I only have a problem with people who have a problem with me. I dont discriminate against color, race, gender, sexuality, etc, and she cant stand that about me.

What do I say to her? How can I help her see what the world is like here in 2007? In her defense, she grew up on the south side of Chicago and went to school during all the King Race Riots and the color divide was dangerous, because the both sides hated each other, not just one sided.

Steven, you are a a**hole.

Answer 1

Just tell her calmly that you understand she chooses to see people in this limited way, but that you do not and leave it at that.

It sounds like you are still living at home with her. You will have much more peace once you are on your own.

Answer 2

Unfortunately there is not much you can say to her. She is set in her ways and will not budge. I take it you are not old enough to move out of the house yet, right? As much as it hurts and affects you, you can only live YOUR life free of racism and bigotry. You would be wise not to tell her things that you know will upset her to the point of upsetting you. I am from Chicago also (I was born and raised on the west side) where racism and everything that it causes sere rampant during my development. My mother is a die-hard racist also but is a fervent Catholic. Go figure!? I gave up trying to 'convert' her to a racist free life only after realizing that only she could change via recognition that she had a problem. Don't try beating a dead horse and look out for yourself!

Answer 3

Chances are she probably won't change much, it sounds like she's a little set in her ways, and if that's the case then there isn't a lot you can say to help her understand your views.
Your best option is to minimise any chances she has to offend people in this way, and explain to people she does offend about her viewpoints (apologetically, probably ;-) )

Congratulations to you though, for being so open-minded whilst having a parent who is racist.

Answer 4

let her know you don't believe the same way she does and you believe that everyone has the right to civil rights. And it upsets you when she uses racial slurs around you or any other slurs against race. religion or sexual preference.

Now... you can tell her how you believe.

You can NOT change her.

NO-ONE can change anyone else.

But you can walk out of the room when she talks like that. She eventually will stop around you or say it just to get you to leave.

Answer 5

You are a much better person than your mother. Unfortunately she sounds pretty much set in her ways, and there isn't much you can do except stand up for your own beliefs and not let her bully you.

Answer 6

It's wrong for her to be that way and you know this thank goodness. My EX mother n law is the same way, and yes she gos to chuirch every sunday, for me the only I can look at this for me is God will have a talk with her when her time comes.

Answer 7

Stand your ground and let her know these words are very bad and offensive and would appreciate it if she didn't talk that way around you. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to change her ignorant views.

Answer 8

Tell her she is going to hell.God does not like bigots!