My boyfriend recently started a new job. He works full time, goes to school at night and spends the majority of his weekends working on his business. This leaves very little free time for the two of us to spend together. Well, he is off of school this week. We spoke yesterday during work & both planned to be home shortly after work. I called him 30 after he got off. He did not answer his phone either time. I went home to work out & called him back 2 hours after he was supposed to be off of work. He finally answers & says he is hanging out with his boss & will be home later. The story seemed fishy to me & I was angry. Why not answer your phone if you are just hanging out with another guy? Or at least call back to say that you will be late? He gets home & tells me that I have no right to be mad. That I am immature & possessive. He then tells me that his boss has invited him to go to a bar tonight. To be continued.......
2007-07-03 02:21:12 · 14 answers · asked by Sophie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He said that I could go, but that he is only inviting me because he knows I don't believe him. I told him to go ahead & go. I know that I am possessive of the time that I get with him, but we get very little time together. I would not have been angry about last night if he had just called & let me know he was going to be late. I think it is selfish to make someone worry. And it does not look good when you don't answer your phone for two hours. He was not working, just chatting. My question is.....should I just stop caring about spending time with him and do my own thing? I don't like being jealous and possessive. But we had planned to spend the extra time this week together, since we rarely see one another. Should I apologize for getting angry and just make my own plans from now on?
2007-07-03 02:26:08 · update #1
Thanks for all the responses. I guess I should add that I am not worried about him having an affair w/ his boss. His boss is a married man with kids. I was just doubtful of him ACTUALLY being with his boss. Seems to me if you are hanging out with a guy...you would have no problem picking up the phone and saying you will be home later.
2007-07-03 02:40:14 · update #2
Sounds to me like the poor guy is working his a*s into the ground trying to make a good future for the two of you...and you're not letting him do what he wants when he finally gets a break. I'd say get off his back. He's not doing anything wrong...he's blowing off some steam. It's hard to stay that committed to so much responsibility. Haven't you ever missed a call when you were out?? Why don't you ask if you can go tonight?? If he says no...tell him to have a good time. I understand that you miss him, but guys need some time to themselves every once in a while. Make plans with him for the 4th...you can spend the whole day together. I'm sure he'd much rather spend the day with someone who lets him do what he wants every once in a while...instead of worrying about you nagging him all day.
Since he invited you...go!! Go show his boss what a kick as* girlfriend you are!! Don't try to get even and do your own thing. Either you know you trust him...or you don't. I say you go and enjoy yourself doing something that he wants to do. He'll appreciate it.
2007-07-03 02:28:15 · answer #1 · answered by geminiqtpie22 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand how you feel since you really do not get to see your boyfriend that much. But since it is a new boss - I would give him a little time to get used to the job. If he continues to ignore you after a while I would seriously consider the relationship. In the meanwhile - yes- I would make plans on my own to do things. You can't sit at home and wait. Maybe if you back off he may wonder why and start to realize that he needs to be more attentive. If not - then maybe this is not the relationship for you. If he is too busy for a girlfriend, then he shouldn't hold you back. Oh- as far as him calling you immature and possessive - if he was more undersatnding about how you felt, he wouldn't try to turn it around to make you look like you were wrong.
2007-07-03 09:42:54 · answer #2 · answered by Babycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if he will act the same. Don't do the same thing but close. Get a good friend you know and one night just go out for a few hours with your friend. When he calls, don't answer. Wait until your on your way home. See what he says. If he gets angry you explain CALMLY that was what it was like. Tell him you really need to spend time with him. If these nights "talking to the boss" become a prograssive thing you have a problem. At that point just leave.
2007-07-03 09:31:33 · answer #3 · answered by girninjadog 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, here's the deal, he is either A. GAY B. GAY or C. GAY....no honestly though, he's up to something for sure. To put a boss over his girl is just wrong or to even put you 2nd to anything else is wrong. He's up to no good and is having an affair of some sort, whether it's with his boss or whether he's using his boss as an easy excuse so he can hang with another female. I'd contact his boss, since he is so "chummy" with him and ask him if he's seen your boyfriend, just tell the boss you haven't seen him in a day or so and you are worried and when the boss acts wierd like what the hell are you talking about, tell the boss, I only called you because he says he hangs with you after work....that way you can see if he is a liar or not about hanging with the boss...he seems shady, so you find out by being shady.....EVERYONE has the right to be informed.....find out what he's doing!!!
2007-07-03 09:29:03 · answer #4 · answered by kiddchrisf 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He invited you because he KNOWS you will then be all embarressed for being the jealous girlfriend and to prove you aren't possessive you will tell him to just go ahead- which is exactly what you did.
My guess is that this person is a woman- boss or not.....yes, of course he wouldn't of worried you like that if that is out of charactor for him.
Women have intuition for a reason you know....
2007-07-03 09:29:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whether you're being possessive or not doesn't matter. If he had agreed with you to come home and spend time together and then didn't? That's reason enough to be mad...I mean ghees, I'd feel low on the totem pole. Sure everyone needs their space and life outside of one another, but don't make plans with me and then change them when something you like better comes along. If thats the case I'd move on along without him.
2007-07-03 09:42:49 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps, your possessiveness is blinding you..give him a chance to really explain himself. Once i waited 6hrs for my boy to reply me and i was sooo mad, i pouted for days. But you know, he had a very valid reason and later, i felt really childish and stupid and felt guilty of punishing him so. Get busy, don't just sit waiting for him, you'll grow mad! And try not to be so distrustful, have faith in your love!!
2007-07-03 10:06:28 · answer #7 · answered by brat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some time to get acquainted with his boss and co-workers.
And in the mean time, you hang out with your friends.
No sense in fuming with him not answering his phone. He'll call when he's ready.
2007-07-03 09:28:13 · answer #8 · answered by Ella 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Given that you aren't married to him, he doesn't have to tell you where he is going. It seems to me that he is "doing" a whole lot, and is not trying to spend time with you. You might want to tell him you are thinking of living separately because he doesn't seem to care about you. If he agrees to the idea, cut your losses and run! If he tries to keep you their, then things are what the seem. He is with his boss.
2007-07-03 09:30:14 · answer #9 · answered by cinnatigg 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
seems to me, if he werent going with his boss, he wouldnt have invited you to go tonight. dont be so hard on him unless you know for sure...
2007-07-03 09:56:50 · answer #10 · answered by poodle mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋