ok, here is my life story..lol. I have 4 children and I am pregnant with number 5. I was with my kids father for 8 years and we were happy and wanted a big family..then he cheated on me...so anyways i left him and then ran into an old school friend. We reconnected from there. We have been together for 18 months now. I am also 5 months pregnant with his baby. Things were and have been going great until last month when he started hanging out with "bad' people at work. They are single and really just party all the time. He started drinking which he hasnt done in 10 years. Once he took that first drink he has not been able to stop. He has been lying and decieving me ever since. Well 2 weeks ago he slept with another girl he met at a bar. He told me he was drunk and when he sobered up he realized what he had done, etc. BUt he still does what he wants but begs me to stay. his mom is blaming it all on me?? what should I do?
2007-07-03 02:16:17 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He went to rehab last night and his mom is pissed at me and told me that i had no right to do that. like I forced him. I am in college fulltime, work fulltime, and have 4 kids. I have a lot going on but I dont make excuses for my actions. his mom said I need to stop hounding him and cut him a break cuz he is going through alot... umm ok the only thing is that he wracked up tons of credit cards and a house he cant afford. I am jsut so frustrated. I raised 4 kids alone and my fiance and Iknown each other so long I never thought he would do this to me...what should I do?? any advice?
2007-07-03 02:19:31 · update #1
what should you do?? Kick his *** to the curb. Honestly, you actually going to listen to a cheating man that he is sorry, bullshit, he isnt sorry. He knows what he was doing. I am a man and I've been in this situation when I was younger and alot more immature and I didn't cheat on my then girlfriend. HE cheated, bottom line, you don't need that, he'll do it again. I hate people that use alcohol as an excuse, I don't care how drunk you are, if you are awake to perform the act, you can stop it as well. alcohol is not an excuse, it just isn't. LEAVE HIM....have more respect for yourself than that. Find a good guy, there are alot of them out there that won't deceive you. LOSE THAT LOSER....
2007-07-03 02:22:59 · answer #1 · answered by kiddchrisf 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough situation. How young are you? & how long were you were single before you hooked up with this second guy?
Maybe your four kids [and soon, five] are too much for him to handle and that's why he's doing what he's doing. It sounds like he wants to do what he wants while you support him.
This probably isn't what you want to hear but, maybe you should boot this guy out. If you need help with the kids, call one of your parents or a friend or other family member. You have a lot going on in your life and you need some stable help & it doesn't sound like you're getting it from this guy.
It's admirable that you work and go to school full time while having four kids and being pregnant. Maybe you should take some time off school to give yourself a break. You'll wear yourself out.
To answer your question, don't do anything about that guy's Mom. A mother will blame ANYBODY to protect her baby. Just ignore what she has to say and keep your head up.
2007-07-03 02:27:30 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont want to be the bearer of bad news but I believe you should leave him. Here are my reasons for thinking so. One, he cheated on you. If he can do it once then he will do can do it again. Two, there are family issues already. Its hard to have a relationship if the other persons family doesn't approve of you. Three, you have (are going to have) 5 children. You need someone who can help you and your children. Not make it harder to live. The children will need a real father figure in their life. If you still intend to stay with him you should sit him down and talk to him. Tell him that if he really loves you he should stop. Give him ONE chance. Just ONE. If he doesn't clean his act up then he isn't going to change. Thats all there is to it. I'm sorry life has been so hard on you. You have my support. Add me as a contact if you would like a friend.
2007-07-03 02:25:05 · answer #3 · answered by girninjadog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that you are one strong woman, and you dont need this man the same way you didnt need the first one. If you can work, goto school, and handle 4 kids, while pregant, than your superwoman. Im not perfect, but i know the last thing i coulod have ever done was cheat on my wife while she was pregant, not that i ever would, but while her being pregant, i couldnt even think of being with another woman. I just feel that theres nothing more beautiful than a pregant woman. But basically, it doesnt sound like u need this man, but if u want to stick it out you need to get him to commit fully, because after the first time, it only gets easier from there to do it again.
2007-07-03 02:28:30 · answer #4 · answered by nycfella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do men think that being drunk is an excuse???
Honey, this is NOT in any way your fault, so tell his mom to go screw. This is a man who has no respect or self control. Cheating on somebody that you are committed to is inexcusable, and while you were PREGNANT??? Atrocious! If I were you, I would let this man know that he has destroyed all trust in the relationship. Think about it: What's going to go through your head the next time he goes out with the guys?? Do you really want to live with that kind of paranoia??? Let him go. Losing you is adequate punishment for what he's done.
2007-07-03 02:25:02 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel-Pit Police-DSMG 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your plate is full to over flowing!!
First who truly cares what his mother thinks if she is not supporting you and his rehab then she is an enabler and her opinion is not worth a second thought.
Second he needs to be held responsible for his own bills and debt so get it in writing what belongs to him and what belongs to you.
Third if he has cheated once he may or may not do it again. Since he checked himself into rehab then perhaps he truly does want help and can get back on track and be a supportive partner.
If you do not feel that he is going to be able to do that or if you have any doubts then you need to let him go and let him prove to you that he is going to be the man you need him to be and not continue to drink and be a cheater.
Be sure to take care of yourself as you and your unborn child need stability and good health. You have babies to think about and if he is going to be a help in your life then great but if he is going to be a hindrance then he needs to be that all on his own.
Good luck and enjoy your babies!
2007-07-03 02:26:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think u should leave him you really don't need that, trust me there are good guys out there and they will love u with your kids; you want the family life and this guy wants the single party life... and I don't care how drunk u r u know you have a girlfriend or wife at home waiting for u don't be a punk and blame it on the alcohol!!! Move on and find the guy for you!!
2007-07-03 02:21:55 · answer #7 · answered by Sherry A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him when he gets out to move in with his mommy.she thinks you cant do anything right then let her know she can have him back until she can make him better.let her know what he has done.tell him when he can stop totally going to bars because a married man has no reason to be there,can be sobber for 3 mos. and be a husband to you ,then you dont want him around.let him know you dont need or want a player and you cant take a chance on getting something that his girl from the drunk night might of gave him,and that you can pass on to your unborn baby.
2007-07-03 03:06:09 · answer #8 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha! are you with my X husband?...lol. First ignore the mom...if she doesn't want her son to seek help for his drinking problem then she's F*d up. Secondly the only thing you should be worried about is the stability for your children, nothing else. If he's dragging you down, then cut your losses.
2007-07-03 02:47:48 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tracey, unless you are Angelina & Brad Pitt & weathy 5 kids are a lot. Your life sounds and baby daddies sounds like chaos. You have to mantain a stable household for your children w/ or w/o your baby daddies. A peaceful homelife is impt.
2007-07-03 02:24:20 · answer #10 · answered by The It Girl ∆☻乐 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋