why do i disaggree with that statement~' theres somebody outthere for everyone', i couldnt disaggree more

Question

i dont just want anyone handed to me and have to accept it, i want to be able to choose the girl and partner i want. it frightens me at the thought of just accepting somebody thats matched up with you, or who just comes along..

im a bpd sufferer since 15 and im 30 now, ive never had a partner or a girlfriend because of my long standing psychological problems, so at the moment i feel determined to try and work through my difficult problems, with therapy...
but i dont wanna think that in the girlfriend department, ill have to just accept anyone that comes along, just 'any' somebody..
that ill end up accepting because im lonely and theres no one else....no id rather die, i feel that strongly about it. i dont just wanna accept somebody because i cant get the partner or girl i choose, its either i get what im looking for, or i DIE lonely.
and i cant help but interpret that saying' theres someone out there for everyone' that ill have to accept whats given. can anyone understand me?

my preferance in girl is a chubby caucasian girl that looks similar to either kelly osbourne or beth ditto......im frightened i wont find that.....and im sorry but if i cant meet a girl like this then ill end up alone and lonely, because, i dont just want to accept anyone...

Answer 1

It means there is someone who is compatible for you no matter what your problems or preferences are.
Try not to be negative (I know it must be hard)
Sometimes someone who we aren't expecting comes along & we fall for them even though they don't fit into our preferences right now. You may be surprised

Answer 2

Personally, my ideal partner would be Patrick Swayze. Seriously though, all through life we want to meet the person 'who is somebody for everyone'. We have to accept that who we choose to love in the end, is 'the person'. I did not meet my husband until I was 41. We married 3 months after we met and to this day, I know it was right. You are only young and despite any psychological problems, you seem quite normal to me. You do not have to accept anyone that comes along, because in your own heart, you will know when you have found that person. I think the majority of people have felt the same way as you do. I may be wrong, but I do not think so. I hope you find 'who' you are looking for and believe me, one day, that person will be found. xx

Answer 3

The key is to stop putting restrictions on who you want to meet. (not be "picky" as it were) I used to feel the same way that there isn't anyone out there for me and that I would end up alone and lonely. I too had people tell me "oh it will happen, you'll meet someone, " and "there's someone out there for you, there is for everyone." And I can assure you I never believed them.
But know what? I did meet someone, and I couldn't be happier. This person is NOTHING like I imagined myself to be with or ending up with. I always believed I would be with someone much older and who was "well off" and of "high social standing" for want of a better word.
They are 7 years older, from the same type of social background as me and is by no means "well off."
Heck, they aren't even the same sex as I thought I would end up with! But they make me happy, and make me feel good about myself and who I am.
In short if they make YOU feel good about who you are and the life you have, if they make you feel happy and look at the world differently (in a good way) and; more importantly if you can't see your life without them, surely then you HAVE found someone right for you?

Hope this helps and makes sense!

Answer 4

I don't think that there is someone out there for everyone. I've seen plenty of people live their lives alone with no prospects for anything in the future. Does that mean you should give up?? Of course not. And you don't have to accept just anyone who comes along just so you won't be alone. But maybe you could broaden your standards a little and give someone a chance that you might have passed by. You never really know how you are going to hit things off with someone until you really try.

Answer 5

Where on God's earth did you get the notion, ..that someone would be handed to you......life doesn't work like that..
Do you think you'll have some therapy & then head out into the big wide world & everything will fall into place???
Even intelligent, well adjusted, attractive don't have people handed to them...
You have never had a friend or relationship in you life so to start narrowing down your choices is just absurd...
First you need to learn to relate to people before you start thinking of what you want a possible partner to look like........
Just find some one who can tollerate you first!!!

And be realistic...surely any kind of friendship or relationship is prefferable to things now..

Good Luck.......

Answer 6

I am 45 and in the same boat, more or less but i am not a BDP sufferer, i am lonely and yes the thought of growing older in this same situation scares me terribly, i did meet the girl of my dreams and i had to let her go, everyone has a "perfect image" of our partner and some of us are lucky enough meet them, in a way i am very lucky indeed to have met my dream girl even though we are now apart for a while i felt true love and it was amazing i have to tell myself that some people go through there whole lives and never have that.

I will never meet another dream girl, i see plenty but i have had my chance and now i have to be realistic and accept that..., you have to be realistic to, you will probably never meet the girl of your dreams that feels the same way as you do, but you don't have to just accept the first lady that throws herself at you either....., i don't know what else to say...., good luck

Answer 7

the concern with a question like it particularly is it asks human beings to 2d wager a decision made in 1945, using wisdom and sensibilities from 2007. That suggested, the bombing of Hiroshima substitute into probable needed. If we hadn't dropped the atomic bomb on that city, and the conflict had endured, it could have been heavily bombed at last. We killed hundreds in a nighttime using customary weapons in Germany and Japan. From that stand factor the dying toll in Hiroshima wasn't critically greater. What substitute into new have been the long term wellbeing outcomes on the survivors. That substitute into as new to the U. S. because it substitute into to something of the international. As for Nagasaki, I even have continuously puzzled the choose of the 2d bombing 3 days after the 1st. the eastern parliament substitute into unfold out in the time of the country and could no longer, as a physique, react to Hiroshima. i think of shall we've waited longer. possibly the 2d bombing does no longer have been needed.

Answer 8

To me it doesn't really matter what one looks like because I have found that when you care about someone I never seem to see that persons physical appearance/flaws. I notice that other people do this too and the funny part is the realization of what someone looks like after the bond is broken.

I disagree with there is someone for everyone in fact there are a lot of people that can be for you in different stages of your life. If you go out and meet people you will find different people will be compatible for you for different reasons. I think the key is to just meet people and love will find you because looking for love has never worked for me as when I find someone to be in a relationship with it has always been when I wasn't looking or almost like an accident or coincidental. So if you just get involved in your life and activities around you I believe love will find you. Sometimes people try too hard to find love and that seems to mess things up or they wont find someone. Just be natural and work on your confidence girls love that when a man is strong and confident. The last guy I got involved with told me that he wanted me to be with the person I was happiest with and that made me want to stick around longer.

Answer 9

When people say that there is someone out there for everyone it doesn't mean that you have to settle for someone who isn't right for you! You are right to wait for "the right one" to come along.

But.... Don't have a fixed idea about who that person is. You can't just fall in love with the person who ticks all the boxes on your list. When you fall in love it will probably be with someone completely different! If you do meet a girl who ticks all the boxes you may well find that she still doesn't feel right for you. I spent years looking for "my type", but it never worked out with them, then met and ended up with someone who is completely different, but I can't imagine wanting anyone else. When I first saw him I thought....No....Not my type, and dismissed him, but after spending a few hours with him (we worked together), I started to want to be with him all the time, and miss him when he wasn't around. I'm not his type! He has always gone out with tall leggy blonds. I am a small red head, but within months we both just knew that we would spend the rest of our lives together. NOT because we were settling for each other, but because we are so happy and right for eachother.

I hope you meet the "one for you" soon, whether she fits in with your "type" or not. Good Luck!

Answer 10

Life's all about testing things. Your not always going to get the person you want, but maybe there's a reason for that. It's all in chance and compatibility. And there is someone out there for everyone, they just have to look for it. You're very pessimistic and when you have the attitude that "I'll just be lonely" Your drawing negative things toward you. Things will work out in the end.

Answer 11

Im sorry to say you're wrong. Im sure you havent been so lucky in your love life, and so do I. But Im not hopeless just because of that. I think there's the right person for you, or at least a special someone for you, its just that you are not going in the right direction, or maybe you are not putting your eyes in the right people...perhaps you just havent found what you really need, deserve and want.
I would recommend you to think about other stuff, get some distraction, spend your time doing other stuff while you think about what you really expect some that special someone.
When I've felt that way, everyone tells me: he/she will come to you when you are not even expecting/wishing it to happen.

keep it up!! Dont give up!! :) Im sure you'll find her somewhere, somehow.

:)Good luck! And trust in God.