what kind of respect for women is good?

Question

I open doors to women, I let them to go in somewhere first. I would pay a dinner, not my girlfriend or female friends. I'm not violent against women. I think women are much much smarter than men, so I let women to choose stuff and ideas. even on here yahoo! answers I only give Best answer to females. if a woman wants something, then I will obey her. and a lot more nice things like I love to hug with women and I always listen to them. is all this a good thing to do?

I heard that feminism started cause women didnt wanted that someone else is opening doors for them. what is so wrong with that? anyway I'm staying this gentleman. actually all my close friends are females.

Answer 1

sweetie, its nice you do all of this, but really you're taking it a little far. We want you to respect us but not if you are favoring us over yourself. I just want a respect in were the man understands that I'm just as good as him, not so much higher and more worthy. Cause thats not true.

Answer 2

That's all good, really. Seriously. You're doing things right, but here's the catch....
The feminism thing: they don't want to feel inferior to men. No woman does, really. It's nice to have a guy pamper you, but should that just be for women to enjoy? Like, no woman ever opens a door for a man (well, I do, but I do it for EVERYBODY out of respect, but guys more). It's just a woman's mentality. Over the decades women were housewives; made to serve their husbands without question and take care of the children while their man was out earning a living. Only in recent years has it been seen fitting for girls to go to college and have careers. Having those things happen has caused women to see that (in a certain light of mind) it seems as if the men are saying they're better and that women can't open doors for themselves. I feel that way sometimes, but only because I've been told that women can't take care of themselves, and I feel the need to show the person that said that, that I in fact CAN take care of myself. It's really just about showing the world their strength.

All in all, you're doing a good job. You seem very respectful and like someone I could get along with. You sound sweet.
BUT.... the always giving the best answer to a female is a little like, well, it sounds like you're terribly afriad of being sexist. That's good -IN A WAY- but can be seen as you being desperate. Just go with the flow, but remain respectful -to EVERYONE, not just women.

Answer 3

It doesn't matter what started feminism. It sure as heck wasn't a sweet guy like you that sent all these crazy women out looking for something more. So don't worry. Men like you are hard to come by because of media, society and life in general.

I have had 2 serious relationships. Both were with men that were just like you. Opening doors, polite, considerate. They were great. The fact is, you need to be appreciated by the women in your life. If you are opening the car door for her, why isn't she reaching over and doing the same for YOU? If you are allowing her to choose the restaurant or movie, why isn't she thinking about what you like? If she is, thats fantastic. That is all the "equality" I need. A man opening a door for me is polite, and him allowing me to open his door tells me that he doesn't think I'm inferior or inable.

Keep being you. Just remember that you do these things because you like that or those particular women in your life, not all women. If a woman doesn't deserve your respect, open the door for her and let her out...of your life.

Answer 4

sounds like either you are trying too hard or are full of b/s. Opening doors and showing basic respect for women is a good thing, but why would you pay for a stranger's meal? why would you let women walk all over you? You will get no respect that way.
Feminism started because women couldn't vote, not because they wanted to open their own doors.

Answer 5

Showing respect and being a gentleman are not insulting to women even the most die hard feminist enjoys being shown respect. Dont confuse manners ( which you seem to have in spades) with womens desire to be treated as equals and not as a lower class. But also while I think obeying a woman is a very nice thing to be do not let your sence of chivalry with being a doormat. Saying no is not being rude.

Answer 6

Because perhaps that is not primarily what "feminists" are looking for. Out of all these things you mentioned you do, only one made good sense. Though all the other things are nice, the primary thing revolves around:

--> so I let women to choose stuff and ideas

That's just step one. Step two is for men to let go of women complimenting and conforming to men's ideas more in daily practical life than it is reversed. Men are very used to being confirmed as a man and as an individual in their ideas, pursuits, etc. by women. I guess feminists, true feminists, refuse to keep confirming despite your such a true gentleman in other aspects.

So it's kind of like a mentality change. I wouldn't think of phrasing the most important issue: "I LET women choose...". The fact of the matter is, once you say you will 'allow' something you let a relationship grow to where it becomes a who-has-power-over-who issue. Just like you say you will obey her. That's no good either. Feminists probably hate and despise 'power struggles' in a relationship, from a one-sided point of view (admitted).

In conclusion: I think they got to annoy themselves about what is considered courtious because the focal point of confirming a womans value and character has shifted.

Answer 7

I am not feminist but am feminine. I would never want a guy that seems to have his tail between his legs. We expect the door to be opened and dinner to be paid for. We would never even entertain the idea of being hit by a man. If I want something to obey me I will get a dog. We need men to at least be our intellectual equals, we're not looking for a boy. We need for the man to be confident, secure, dependable & honest.

Answer 8

You have a really poor understanding of feminism.

It was never about women resenting a man "opening the door" for them, it was resentment of the belief that women didn't have the ability to open it them self.

It was about working along side a man, with the same qualifications, doing the same job, but being paid less than him, simply because you have a vagina instead of a penis.

It was always about inequality. About being treated as inferior to male counterparts, for no good reason other than different gender.

Even your comment "I LET women choose stuff & ideas". You "LET" them, huh? So, you PERMIT them to choose stuff & ideas? That's really condensending language, and you weren't even aware.

So, you just keep on your condensending ways as the "gentleman", pretending that you're treating women as equals, when alls you're doing is treating them like a pet.

Answer 9

You seem to be a great guy!, Most ladies like that sort of thing. I know I would. It makes us feel special and feminine when you open a door for us. But honestly... if you always let a female have her way... she may start taking advantage of you! It goes both ways, males and females should show mutual respect for each other, and compromise on things... like where to eat, and things like that. Don't make yourself a door mat... women want an equal when it comes to relationships... there has to be balance.

Answer 10

You're a very sweet guy. I love it when a man is respectful. He doesn't even have to go all out. Just treating me with a little bit of dignity makes me very happy. I tell my husband that if he treats me like a queen then I will treat him like a king. But hey, don't sell your male counterparts short. Most of the men I know and have been around are pretty intelligent and I respect their thoughts and opinions on alot of subjects.

Answer 11

You are doing ood it's nice of you to open doors for a woman and obey a woman, but really you need not obey a woman you need someone to respect you for what you give her too.While it is nice what you are doing don't forget that nomatter what you do for a woman who disrespects you you will never do enough to be respected by her that is not the one you want you want one who can respect you as well, yes please stay a gentleman, you will find your soul mate one day and with her your happiness will be also, because she will love you for what honor you give her and return the honor to you also. As for those who don't appreiate your respectful ways let them do it for themselves and leave them to it go elsewhere because they are not the ones for you. My closest friend is a male my husbandand her has always done things for me I appreciate that he did he has my love as I have his, seriously one day you will find someone who will appreciate you also. Just be patient.