Why will women marry for "money"?

Question

I would like to skip all of the gut reaction answers like "men do it too". I got it, it's clear that the phenomenon occurs in both directions. What brought this question to mind was seeing a photo of Salman Rushdie (60ish) and Padma Lakshmi (40ish)... and of course the obvious Anna Nicole life fiasco. However even short of that this summer my son is more heavily into tennis so we are spending time at country clubs. Even at age 14 he "laughs" at the orange skinned hard-bodied trophy wives and the odd looking, overweight or otherwise objectionable men they are with. He wondered aloud on the way home one day, how sad it would be to live with someone you had nothing in common with and weren't really attracted to. I was at a loss to explain...

I'd prefer serious thought and discussion only please. If a respondent would prefer to email off line that's fine as well. If you're a trophy wife and you can accept that I'd love to hear from you. Thank you.

Thank you all so far. I appreciate the serious answers. I would like to go past personal reference and observation though. Some have hit on it. Is there a "cultural" or early female socialization that happens that makes this choice plausible.

As for why men marry them? The common moniker answers that. Trophies. Those women for them are validation that they "made it". Its our silly look what I can get expression. Its a nice car a bigger house etc. Its fulfillment of all our teenaged pin-up fantasies.

Answer 1

Well, I'm not sure that you can categorize Padma Lakshimi as simply a trophy wife. Yes, she's a hottie, but she is also very bright. My guess is that she and Rushdie had lots in common and sadly just like many couples today, their interest in each other faded. I think that they fall into the disposable limelight marriage category instead,

Getting to your question, I have 2 sisters who married for money. In fact, one told me that she did not marry the man she loved, but married the one with the more promising financial future. They now have children and don't even sleep in the same room. The other is blindly going through life in her nice car and her huge house. She is unpleasant. Neither are orange skinned and both are very active in their communities. Nor are their husbands ugly or bald, just rich.

My family is fairly wealthy and there was alot of subtle pressure to marry into money. A paranoia is instilled at a young age that your life will be over if you do not have money--that hard work is for the lower class. When people are exposed to this from a young age, they can become wired to believe it.

I chose not to (almost a deprogramming, so to speak) and married the love of my life. We have our own home, but it's not a mansion. My husband works very hard and we makes ends meet. Our lives are at least a million times happier than my sisters. And I am pretty sure that they are wired not to understand that.

Answer 2

Some possible explanations could include:

When I'm dating a guy, his financial situation does play a role in the relationship. I don't want to date a guy who never pays for the date, constantly needs money, borrows money from me, etc. Not saying that I want his money or expect him to pay for everything, but it's nice to date a guy who is financially independent and secure and can afford to do nice things once in a while. I'm sorry if that sounds shallow, but it's easier to make a better impression on a person if you can afford to go out, dress nicely, afford nice things. It makes you think the person is hard working, responsible and will be successful with their future. *This is not to say that others that make less money or aren't so well off aren't great people and wouldn't make for a great relationship

Another reason: women tend to care about their looks a little more than men. Perhaps the man at one point was a bit more attractive, but has let himself go. On the other hand, women tend to be more anal about keeping up appearances (and if their family has money, then they can afford to as well).

These are just a couple theories. Good luck with your investigation.

Answer 3

I couldn't give you an answer from my own experience but I have in the past had a friend who would only date a guy with money. Why? Because she had already been hurt plenty by being with a guy for love. Others make it their life goal...they'd rather marry into money than make it on their own. But you really got to wonder. Why would these men marry these women when it is so obvious they only want him for his money. I mean seriously - check out Hef and his 3 girlfriends. I never understood that myself. I would never even consider dating someone more than 10 years older than me and that's even iffy. If I have nothing in common with someone (outside a love of money) then really there is no point. And besides...I don't really want to be with someone who is going to need the help of a little blue pill (or whatever color the others come in) on a regular basis due to age.

Answer 4

I don't have the true answer that much I can tell you. I know of a woman who married for money and that was only because he and her best friend cornered her, so at last she felt compelled to give in. The outcome is that now she regrets she ever married him; she married him for the money. As time progressed she eventually fell in love with him, as for him he had no intentions on falling in love with her whatsoever, to this day he hasn't, as a matter-of-fact his intentions were to use her as a maid, which he does; he has no respect for her at all one could say. This is only one such case I know of, still not all cases are like this one; there are a lot of happy endings out there.

Answer 5

Why not?

You can marry for love, and even then the odds are your marriage will fail. Why not set yourself up to get some money out of it, just in case? That said, I think you oversimplify this. There is no evidence whatsoever that Padma Lakshmi did not love Salman Rushdie when they first got together. Younger women often fall in love with older men, because older men are more mature. Anna Nicole is a bad example, because she was not an example of anything at all. She was a big exception. And here is the final kicker: you're using examples of "ugly" men, but some women actually are smart enough to realize that what really matters in a man is what is on the inside. Doesn't mean that some of those country club women didn't marry for money, but many of them may have had money already, or just got lucky. Regardless, your "skip the gut reaction answers" qualification is not fair. Why DO some men marry for money? Is their reason somehow different? Why isn't that relevant to this discussion?

Answer 6

Just because you are a trophy wife does NOT mean that you have nothing in common with the man you married, or do not love him. When I look at a man I see power, safety, and someone that I feel safe with, sure I look at the golf pro with the great arms..but will he make me feel safe and secure NO!!
Salman Rushdie is a prime example, so intelligent, hours of real conversation, made an impact on the world, any lady would be lucky to have him for a husband!
Looks are far overrated..I want someone who loves me, needs me, makes me feel good about myself when we are out, has time to spend playing with me..and is secure..not some cute jock who has nothing to say, does not include me in his life, and spends more time getting ready than I do!!
Sometimes we "laugh: at what we don't understand or are jealous of!!
And so many "trophy wives" are not air headed bimbo's as you would like to think!
Most care deeply about their husbands, are used to being laughed at by the older 1st wives club, and would do anything to make sure their husband is happy and content..life is a two way street!

Answer 7

4 the same reason why some men would marry for money too.

Possible reasons:
they were taught that's the way things go in life,
they see it as a way to survive,
to be rich,
for financial safety reasons,
they lost hope to find true love,
bad experiences in the past,
they are forced into it by different factors,
they were brain programmed without their consent (see MkUltra experiments, sex slaves)

Every person has ( or think they have) their own reason and no one should judge the other, as no one is perfect.

Answer 8

Some people are just really greedy i guess. Despite the fact that they may be very miserable, they'll still go through with it forthe money. It's really sad actually. No offence to anyone, but you have to be a desperate person who is just out for the money. Someone who prefers to have money then spend their life being happy! Certainly not me! xx

Answer 9

Too much verbal clutter there. Didn't even read the whole question. My answer is:

not all women marry for money. My mother didn't and I didn't. What's your theory got to say about that?

Answer 10

They are lazy and don't want to work to get their own. They want to buy a ton of useless things like designer fashion and expensive make-up because they have low self esteem. They feel like they will be "set" for life and won't have to lift a finger.