What is the point....?

Question

I'm feeling quite frustrated. I'm 27 and I haven't done anything with my life that I consider to be fruitful.

I have a failed marriage behind me (married young), a couple of failed relationships, I have a job that bores me rigid (even tho it's well-paid), I don't own a house, I have lots of friends but they're all happy in relationships and I don't have much opportunity to meet new people as they always have house parties.

I just feel really dissatisfied with life.

I'd like to teach, but it's a long slog to get a degree and then PGCE to then drop about £10K in wages... This has prevented me so far, and I feel deflated that I haven't done anything productive with my life.

All I've ever wanted was to raise a family, but keep ending up with losers and that seems less & less likely the older I get.

I'm just really fed-up - anyone got any good ideas as to how to make life feel more worth-while? What do you do that makes you feel fulfilled?

Answer 1

Go to counselling, and reassess your life, you may have it much better than you think you do.

Answer 2

You are one of many people in the same situation, some common sence saying thing is if you keep travelling in the same direction then you will end up where you are heading. My advice is go to an area of social interactions, maybe pub, Church, club, it is supprising how ideas from simple places develop into life in the world. Something I keep discussing with single friends, many of whom have had similar failed relationships, when you find the right person, life will begin to make sence, if you don't find the right person then keep looking, there are so many ifs. The bit about satisfaction, well you wouldn't feel satisfied because you concentrate on what you don't like rather than counting your blessings, that is you aren't hungry and you have an internet connection. The film The Matrix mentions the only point of life is to be a battery, which is one of the best ways of explaining some ideas of life. Maybe you could arrange a house party or something and I'm thinking sort of a girls night in, that would give your social life a boost. Maybe after a while you could arrange a meeting at a pub or something.

Answer 3

Although you feel you haved failed in the area of relationships, don't forget the experience you have gained throughout it all. You might be able to use it one day to help someone else. I don't believe any experience is unfruitful.
The income you have, has got you in a strangle hold.
You are obviously not happy so maybe it's time to take stock and make some changes. £10k is a lot to consider however it hasn't made you happy and it could be the case that cetain sacrifices will have to be made in order that your dreams and ambitions come into fruition. Don't wait until it's too late and you're filled with all the 'I wish I'ds, I could haves and I should haves'. It is scary and you would need to embrace huge changes in your life style but can you afford not to?

Answer 4

For starters let me extend some compassion and sympathy your way and say, "I'm sorry that life hasn't gone so well for you."
One thing that has gotten me through much of the monkey poop that life throws at you is the first teaching of the Buddha which is, "All life is suffering." At first this seems pessimistic, but he went on to describe the method to alleviate this suffering which became the basis of Buddhism, but I won't go into that here.
As far as dating/marriage and the "losers" - I can understand based on my wife's experiences (before me) and on some of my own. Ultimately, nobody can force someone else to like them, love them, be Mr/Ms Right, or to improve themselves... it really does "just have to happen." My advice would be to let go, don't worry about it. Worry about yourself first, get everything else straight, then when you least expect it... you'll meet someone.
Leave the idea of that failed marriage exactly where it is, in the past.
Owning a home is great, but everything has its "ups" and "downs" - think about it this way, in an apartment when something needs painting, fixing, etc, you just call the maintenance office; in your own home, it's all you...
If "partying" is not your thing, go hang-out where you are comfortable. If you frequent an environment that suits you - you're very likely to find someone compatible in such a place.
Finally, on a psychological level, you don't have to get all Freudian on yourself or anything, but just THINK about (and I mean deep thinking) those "losers" and why you were attracted to them? Why were they attracted to you? What are the key elements that those relationships had in common? Once you analyze these things you might discover something that you had not realized before - and then you'll know how to change things for the better. As the old adage goes, "You can't fix it until you know what's broken."
I hope that helps!

Answer 5

Maybe you can just cheer up a bit, you know wake up in the morning and smile and be happy because you are. And once you become happy, then the things you want will start appearing at ur doorstep. You should try going out and clubbing maybe trying abother way to "relax" and basically just be optimistic with every new day that comes. And your life will never be NOT worth while, you just have to choose what to do with certain situations. I can eloborate on this soo much, but im afraid i will write a 20 000 word essay.

Lol, anyway dont worry, every life is worth living and what you need to do, is not waste each moment. Dont sit and grovel or cry, stop feeling like your useless or worthless, and get out their in this big world, because life is too short. And remember to ENJOY yourself! E-N-J-O-Y and BE H-A-P-P-Y

Answer 6

Sweetheart, I wish I were only 27! The most positive thing is that you have NO TIES. The world is your oyster. Go and see it! You are in the enviable position where you can just drop everything and maybe do some volunteering work abroad, or can the job you do now take you?

If you really want to teach, then do it! You will meet new people while you are training, and have your own parties.

Don't be afraid, or you will reach 37, and then 47, and still be stuck.

Go to Do-it-all.com, which is a volunteering website, and there is all sorts of thing to do, local or abroad, or try one of the National chariites. Have you a local theatre group? That would be fun, you don't have to act, but work behind the scenes.

Answer 7

Handling material aspect of life is situation dependent.
Ultimately, we could sum up as earning a living, getting married, raise children , stay as aged for sometime, and if possible go peacefully.
Even animals do this , more gracefully than us. Note that humans are the only beings that has to 'earn' for food. Food happens by itself in nature for everyone. We created a complexity to now earn it !
Everybody, at some point of time, get tired of this 'chasing around' and get fed-up. Then, it is ripe enough to turn inwards, and find out about the inner life. Now there will be some steadyness, consistency in the seeking. And then it will happen.
The famous ancient book on inner life by a sage Patanjali (Indian origin) starts in a strange way " And now Yoga" (meaning, after we are fed up with everything else, turn inwards, and spend some time for self !

Answer 8

You need new things. You should change your life around in small increments; try something that you have never done before. Go to a new restaurant, take a walk somewhere new, learn something, read a book, find enlightenment, try looking at things in more detail. Too often, we become prisoners of our lives due to the rigid constraints that we are bound to by necessity. It's all too easy to slip into this groove and let life pass by without taking the time to enjoy the experience in itself. The experience is what it's really all about anyway.

Answer 9

I had a badly paid job, single parent, my parents died and I was, due to circumstances 200 miles from friends and a small but loved group of friends and life seemed like this to me.
Then I got involved with a children's hospice on a voluntary basis and realised how lucky I was to have a healthy if only one child.
The mothers of these children had to look after their well children, their husbands, had no paid employment and no social because their sick child took up so much of their life. The only rest bite they had was when the hospice had them for a few days so the mothers could go have their hair cut, go to the dentist, doctors appointment etc. It really put things into perspective for me and have appreciated the good points in my life ever since.
Now don't worry that, don't own a car, have more children or a husband all this paled into insignificance when you realise we can't all have what we want in life.
Some things in life aren't meant to be just enjoy what you have.

Answer 10

Hi there, I think you've achieved plenty. Be proud of yourself. So you got a failed marriage and a few naff relationships...Join the club, many of us are just the same. You say you want to teach, so get out there and do it! You must be fairly successful as you say you would take a pay cut to become a teacher. Be happy, confident and stop looking for Mr Right, families are great but have their problems too. Try just being positive, your glass is half full honey x x

Answer 11

Try some voluntary work. There are all kinds out there (children/animals/environment/the aged/disabled etc) and you may even find you want to make a career of it. Being 'fruitful' just means using the abilities and talents you have well. So you can be fruitful staying where you are now. What are your strong points? Are you good at listening to people, or giving advice, cheering people up? Do something 'fruitful' each day and stop worrying. Just take opportunities to enjoy life when they crop up. Something that makes me feel fulfilled is when I've helped someone out, given advice, or just listening to their woes.