help-what should i do?!!!?

Question

i asked for help with this earlier and i got awesome answers but would like more input-this is a new and very hard situation for me.

i've been dating my bf for almost 3 years now and we've had our ups and downs (broken up a few times). about 3 months ago we found out what the problem was-i have PMDD (pre menstrual dysphoric disorder). it causes me to have horrible mood swings,crying spells,irritability,and major depression about a week before my period starts and then it disappears after i start my period. i was put on yaz birth control for it.

this month was a big problem though b/c i'm a single mom of 3 and the pills aren't covered on my insurance and it costs 50 bucks a pop. i wasn't able to get the pills last month so about a week before my period (which started today) my symptoms came back and it was the worst it's ever been!!

i was so horrible to my bf for 4 days straight-blaming him for things he wasn't doing (but i thought he was due to my hypersensitivity).

cont...

i cried over everything and today when we were lying in bed-he rolled over, started kissing me and then tried to take my clothes off (to make love to me) and i exploded-saying is approach was unromantic and he was being a pig for not letting me wake up first and just wanting sex right away.

needless to say-we got into a huge fight and almost broke up until i admitted i hadn't taken my meds-he calmed down and said "y didnt you tell me that in the first place." then said he needed a couple of days to calm down.

i don't want to go w/out him for a few days (we don't live together) and especially don't want to be alone on the 4th of July.

how do i make him understand that this condition is real and i don't act the way i do on purpose?!!!

guys have trouble understanding this!!!

JUST JESS-thank you so much!!! i thought i was alone with this-when you try to tell someone you have it-they look at you like you're crazy. i'm relieved to know i'm not alone.

i'm getting great answers from everyone!!!!

Answer 1

WOW try to get him to understand what you are going through. If you have been together for 3 years he should understand what is going on. Or you could let him know hey I need 50 bucks!!!
Good luck!!

Answer 2

I have the same SAME problem. I actually tried commiting suicide 2 years ago. I've always been treated for depression - the problem is that I'm only depressed during the week before my period.

I'm not on any kinds of medication for this (for many reasons, including the fact that my insurance dropped me). I'm 20 years old, and my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Hes heaven sent. Hes the kind of guy that most girls can only dream about having. And I feel SO terrible every time I treat him the same way you described. Today I got my period...last night I told him that I hate him, i dont love him, and that whenever i really need him hes never there for me (Which is totally untrue because he missed school and work to stay by my side when i had the suicidal episode)..During this time of the month - i tend to blow things WAY out of proportion and its not fair to the people around me.

After doing some research, I found a few things that help a LOT. The main is exercise. Now, I'm a full time college student and I work full time at a childcare center...your a full time single mom AND i'm sure you have a full time job. Exercise is probably the last thing you have time for - just like me. But if you have to miss a month of your pill, try it.

If you know when your period is coming, 2 weeks before - begin exercising. Even if its only lifting light weights in your bedroom for 10 minutes in the morning before getting ready for work, or maybe you can take your kids out for a nice 'nature walk' after dinner..

Before I'm going to get my period (about 2 weeks before), I try really hard to get in at least 10 minutes of exercise as many days of the week as I can. The more exercise i do - the less severe my symptoms of PMDD are.

Theres also some other things you can do (along with the exercise)..like try drinking herbal teas (chamomeal is supposed to be very calming and relaxing), the smell of lavender is also supposed to be calming (maybe take a nice bath with some lavender bath bubbles, or get a lavender scented candle..)..

I know what your going through, and its terrible. Its almost like you have no control over your body, your feelings, your words. .. If you ever need to chat please feel free to contact me.

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I apologize, i did not read the second part of the question (about making your boyfriend see that this is a real problem)..

If I were you I would sit down with him and say "look, i really love you and i'm so sorry that I act this way sometimes...I really need help."... maybe you could tell him that you want to try out some different things to try to lessen the effects of your problem. If you DO want to try the exercise, maybe you can say something like "I heard that exercise can really lessen the effects of PMDD, I really need help trying to fit exercise into my day".. My boyfriend and I usually go to the mall/movies and such .. but around the time of my period we skip the normal activities and spend time walking together. Its great quality time - its time that we can talk - and it certianly helps. Maybe it'll help him to know that hes involved in your effords to try to overcome this terrible problem.

Good luck.

Answer 3

If this is that big of a problem i would take a second job if i needed to and make sure i got those pills. Pick up a housecleaning job, one house a month could do it for ya. but also please look into physical exercise, yoga, breathing exercises and relaxation remedies to help you also. It really does help, you just have to find out what helps you.

Answer 4

I think insurance should cover it if it is proved that it is not for BC, but for PMS. Anyway, you have to make it for now. 4th July is just tomorrow. 3 years is a long time and he will not be very happy keeping away at this time. Apologize to him now , if it is not your fault, it isn't his as well. He must be cool by now. Act ASAP. Good luck!

Answer 5

Well, try going to a planned parenthood clinic that goes by income and try getting your pills there? If you get 3 months at a time it's usually one charge... Try doing that...