Can men and women ever just be friends?

Question

No seriously.
I get on with guys so much better as I just feel more relaxed around them and really girly girls annoy me.
My girl friends all give me digs over it and say that how can I just be friends, and not develop any feelings for them.
I've always said yes they can but it got me thinking and I now am actually starting to think they could have a point.
I mean I have developed some crushes on my better guy friends, and also even the ones I never have had romantic feelings for, there seem to have feelings for me etc.
Can it ever just be platonic??

Answer 1

I think a friendship of sorts can develop, but not until those sexual undercurrants have been addressed.
For example.
This guy liked me, it was so obvious, body language, teasing, lines, chatting, touching my arm etc etc. I'm sure you all know what I'm referring too. I was not interested in him in that way, but the attention was kind of flattering and I liked him well enough as a person.
So... we went out as "new friends", I use that description as it was early days.

Over time, we ended up kissing etc...

After that, my view of him got confused and I wasn't sure what to think. I was not physically attracted to him at all, but was drawn to him.

Time passed, more acquentance for a while. (very embarassing)

Now...we are friends.

So back to the question, can men and women ever just be friends.... my answer would be YES, but....... there is often confusion and fantasy and blurring of the boundaries before a stable friendship is established.

Answer 2

My answer: Yes... But....I have a theory about this that has never been proved wrong, at least in my limited knowledge. Here goes. I think being strictly platonic does happen, but first there is at some point an attraction. Either it comes right away and that is what draws you to the person or you develop, like you said, a crush over time. Either way the attraction is there at some point. That has seemed to always be the case, and it makes sense. But after that, it's really how open you are with this other person and what you decide to do with the feelings. I think it can go to a true friendship.

Answer 3

I have tried this too. My experience is that it just doesn't work. Romantic feelings WILL start to develop if you spend too much one-on-one time together. It's automatic. You can't turn it off. It's very simmilar to trying to have casual sex. If you have sex with someone, regardless of circumstances, you WILL finish with feelings for that person. It's a part of being human.
Most married women just know within themselves what lines not to cross with other men. The flirts continually confuse themselves and their "freinds" with rules: We hang out all the time but because we don't do anything sexual that means we're not romantic. Or, we can have a candle-lit dinner together and if the woman pays half that means it wasn't a date and there will therefore be no romantic feelings. This is BS. But it's seen as the best solution by people who have mental conflicts with intimacy and relationships. I need intimacy but I'm terrified of a relationship. So I'll convince myself this isn't a relationship but I'll still get my intimacy needs satisfied. The only problem is that romantic feelings and attatchment start to develop, wether we want them to or not because we're human, and then we have to run away because it's starting to look too much like a relationship.

Answer 4

Hard truth: No.

The man will be attracted to the woman. That makes the friendship unbalanced.
The friendship may continue only if the guy finds true love elsewhere and his feelings for the girl-half of the friendship dissapear. By that I mean he doesn't even want to have sex with her anymore even if she wants it and he is sure his real girlfriend will never find out.
As you can imagine, this very unlikely.

Women who think it can be platonic either are blind to the feelings of their male friends, or choose to ignore them ('if I don't love him back, his feelings will go away').
They keep an unequal friendship alive so they can have a guy to talk with - even though the guy really is their friend because he has romantice feelings for her.

Answer 5

This is a hard one really, I have lots of male friends and they have been around forever, although some new guys I tend to meet first become friends, then want more. Sometimes this has worked out great and we have become closer and still remained friends. I think you have to put your feelings on the line right from the start, if you fancy them, let them know, if not, just say you want to stay friends, then everyone is sure whats going on from the word go. Good luck xx

Answer 6

Of course sometimes it can happen, but I think most of the time there is romantic feelings that develop by at least one of the two paries. I guess finding gay guy friends would be a good alternative.

Answer 7

particularly some evaluations. right here is mine: sure they may well be buddies however the sexual area needs to be disregarded consciously. now and back one likes the different a sprint yet that would not propose they might't be buddies. What won't be in a position to paintings is adult men and ladies that say they're buddies to spend time at the same time yet what they actually desire for is courting. shall we are saying the guy needs to be "buddies" with a woman yet she already became him down in some way romantically. it is in no way going to be a actual chum subject. no longer for a pair of years besides. regularly cases it purely lasts till at last the single individual figures out that it will no longer turn romantic. adult men and ladies could be buddies once you do no longer word what intercourse they're anymore. meaning they don't seem to be a guy to you...and vice versa. Sounds no longer elementary. even though it particularly is real. And it takes a pair of years minimally. i think of it gets greater undemanding as you become previous. and that's the fact. I even have had lady and male buddies for years. I have no worry differentiating adult men as buddies and adult men as dates. I see them as categories of adult men. no longer elementary to describe yet precise.

Answer 8

Sure you can. Doesn't mean the guy (or even - gasp - the girl) doesn't think about having sex. It does mean it isn't a battle avoiding sex.

I've got several female friends. A couple of them I've had for several years. Do I think about sex with them? Well duh, I am a healthy male heterosexual! Do I flirt with them - sure every once in a while. Do I grope and push them towards sex? Nope.

So my answer would be; Yes, married men and women can be friends, but single men and women probably not.

Answer 9

Honestly..I don't think so.

And I have really, really tried to draw the line emotionally when it came to a few of my guy friends.

When a guy and girl are friends they will eventually fall for each other..

Temporarily,
At the wrong time,
or forever..

Answer 10

i cant speak from a girls point of view,,but unless they are gay(im being serious not bashing) every guy at one time or another has thought about it..if they say they havent they are lying!!!!! its the way we are and our imaginations just work that way,,a man and women can absolutly not be just friends without at least some thoughts occuring in the mans head