We have problems, but I am still attracted to him. It is not all bad.
2007-07-02 18:01:23 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
all marriages have problems if you aren't being abused and no one is cheating try and work things out... You mentioned your attracted to him but didn't say you still love him. If you no longer love him it's time to go. Don't postpone it it will just make it harder in the long run.
2007-07-02 18:07:33 · answer #1 · answered by Amy M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was married for 15 years...had 2 beautiful children...was totally devoted and never cheated on my wife. I never abused her, and felt that I did everything that I was "supposed" to do.
We still ended in divorce, but only because we simply grew apart.
We went to counseling, and it worked for a while...But eventually we knew it was over.
Divorce is too easy to get these days...and many people feel that as soon as the relationship hits a stretch of "rocky road"..then it's time to bail out. Rather than become yet another statistic in the ever-growing divorce rate (over 50%) you need to ask yourself some simple questions:
Am I still happy? Can this be fixed?
and most importantly....Do we still, deep down, LOVE EACH OTHER?!
If you've answered "No" to those questions...then look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself:
"Have I done EVERYTHING possible to fix this marriage?"
Counseling, Compromise, Communication...EVERYTHING!!
Leave no stone unturned, and make sure that you are positively secure in the knowlege that you've done every possible thing you could to salvage your relationship...because the last thing you ever want to do is have regrets about your decision.
Since you've said that you are still attracted to him...and that "It's not all bad"...Then I would say that you have a long way to go before even considering divorce.
I hope this helps you..and good luck to you and your relationship!
2007-07-03 01:42:36 · answer #2 · answered by MACHNGUN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In every marriage, divorce should be the last option. You haven't really mentioned anything "bad" going on in the marriage, just that you have problems. You're taking an imperfect man and an imperfect woman, uniting them in matrimony... you're not really gonna get a perfect marriage out of this equation. Everything needs to be talked through... you guys got to a point where you wanted to spend your whole lives together. Why? What happened when you were going out that doesn't happen now that led you guys to love each other instead of just being attracted to each other?
If by your own will, as well as your husbands', you don't think you can work on the marriage, talk to a marriage counselor or even a pastor. They can definitely shed more light on the situation. I think you shouldn't end a marriage before you've done everything you can to save it.
2007-07-03 02:20:55 · answer #3 · answered by jomanuel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is about problems. You are just supposed to work them out. Preferably together. If your relationship has gotten abusive though, it is time to get out. Instead of yelling when you get upset, try listening to music. When you get calmed down, maybe you can talk better then. Music always makes me feel better. Hope it helps you. Marriage should end in divorce only as a last resort. You didn't go into it lightly. Right?
2007-07-03 01:15:46 · answer #4 · answered by Ava 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this does not sound at all like means for a divorce everybody has problems and you have to learn to work your problems out and not run away from them ...try to act as if divorce is not an option unless your husband cheats on you or abuses you or you guys just totally unhappy to the point that you can't even indulge in basic conversation. a marriage takes hard work so try what ever you can to keep it together.
2007-07-03 01:09:02 · answer #5 · answered by im whats up! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 6 yrs of marriage, I can say that it honestly takes each person respecting the other, and each being 100% committed to working on the marriage. If both of you are not in it all the way...and wanting to make it better, be closer, etc., then you will always be unhappy. My mom told me once that marriage should be 90% good, 10% bad...that if it is more than 10%, you need to think about what and why you are in it. I suggest you seek counseling as a couple, and if he doesnt want to do that, seek counsel for yourself and start making some good decisions about your future. Good luck!!
2007-07-03 01:09:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are so many legitimate reasons for divorce, that you couldn't get them all listed within this site. Ultimately however, it depends totally on how much the hurt party is willing to except before calling it quits.
2007-07-03 01:16:59 · answer #7 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love should be mutual, and both have to share the responsibilities of maintaining the marriage.
Every relationship has problems, work them out !
Unless it's cheating, adultery, abuse, then you may have to consider divorce.
2007-07-04 01:23:40 · answer #8 · answered by Rootbeer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try marriage Counseling and ask that question their!
I would bet that your answer will be forthcoming good or bad!
2007-07-03 01:09:35 · answer #9 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the three "A"s - Abuse, Adultery, Addiction.
2007-07-03 07:57:07 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋