I have been married to a guy for 5 years and we have a 4 yr old son. He was the best for the first three years when he was in the military. Now that he is out. He has started drinking a lot and quit a good job and got a part time one for no reason. He moved in with his brother about 50 miles away and won't help me and our son at all. One day he will say i want to come home and then the next day he says he likes being there. I am tired of his games. What should i do? I want my son to be happy first and fore most.
2007-07-02 17:33:13 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he won't quit drinking and attend marriage counselling, sad to say, but file for seperation. I was married to an alcoholic for almost 9 yrs. If you want the best for your child and yourself and your husband is not willing to get help and be the responsible, mature adult/father he should be you should not stay with him "for the sake of the children". They know.... believe me, they know. Good luck...my best to you....should you have to go down that path, it will be hard, but it will be worth it.
2007-07-02 17:42:49 · answer #1 · answered by ladyaleyth34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that your 'husband' is going through depression and his drinking could mean that he is in so much pain due to coming out of the military. It doesn't seem like he is serious to want to keep the family together, otherwise, he would seek some counseling for his drinking and for his behavior with depression. He is not sure what he wants. You need to ask your husband to seek help and if he doesn't, then that should tell you that he is not serious to stay with you and be a father to your son. Your son will not be happy with the way his dad is. Plus, it is not good for your son to be around someone who is addicted to alcohol. In order for your son to be happy, the problem with his dad needs to be fixed first. That's if your husband is wanting to do something about it.
2007-07-02 17:41:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your son needs you to provide a stable living environment for him first and foremost. The man you just describes screams out instability! Try marraige counseling, IF both of you want it to work. IF NOT, a divorce seems the only necessary action. I hope things work out for you. Also, if he was in the military, he could be going through something far more serious than just not wanting to be around, maybe something traumatic happened.
2007-07-02 17:39:22 · answer #3 · answered by MockingBird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that he's out, did he fight in a war? If so he might be suffering from PTSD. He should be seen by a health professional. Have you talked to his brother? He can provide insight into it as well... Otherwise, get counseling, move on and get child support. Good luck!
2007-07-02 18:47:22 · answer #4 · answered by ~Katie~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being in the military really screws with people's minds. It sounds like he needs to talk to someone about what he's going through emotionally. Until he deals with whatever's bothering him, he won't be able to be there for you or your son.
Couples counseling might be helpful, but he might need a support group of others who are in his situation even more.
2007-07-02 17:41:59 · answer #5 · answered by YY4Me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say before throwing in the towel that you should try fighting for your marriage. Before giving up try to get him into marriage counseling. If he doesn't want to do that then you may have no other choice but to move on with your life. It takes two people to make a marriage work. You can't do it by yourself. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Peace and God bless.
2007-07-02 17:50:20 · answer #6 · answered by cave man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be in need of counseling from being in the military. Did he go oversees? If so, I'm sure this is a large part of his behavior. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. Try to look at all angles.
2007-07-02 17:58:51 · answer #7 · answered by bahjij6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Spears Girls and Hilton Girls... Just looking at their messed up lives is enough of a reason to avoid their advice on anything.
2016-05-17 05:36:13 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you still have major feelings for how he used to be, get him counseling for his drinking problem. if his drinking problem ends, he'll most likely want a better job. if he doesnt go to counseling for you, he's not worth it. divorce him and sue him if he doesnt pay for his own child. good luck with this!
2007-07-02 17:40:36 · answer #9 · answered by katie m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
,st of all your son should not see the mess of your life now put on your big girl face and get help for you and your son let your husband worry about himself hes a adult
2007-07-02 17:47:43 · answer #10 · answered by STALKER BLOCK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋