My 20 year old son came to me several months ago and asked what would I think if he dated a older woman? I was thinking maybe he was talking about a woman maybe a few years older than himself, so I said hey if you are happy, then I'm happy. Come to find out through my daughter he is dating a 43 year old vet...that's what young black men call older black women. I was floored. My son never told me what age she was, so I asked him how old was his new friend and he told me she was 43. Heck, I'm 45!!!! This chick is 2 years younger than me!. I told him I forbid him to date his woman, after all he is still at home w/me, but he is over 18 years old. My thing is I think this woman is stealing me sons' stamina and I'm sure he has a lot of it. But he really likes her, I asked him what the heck do they talk about and he said "everything" . I recently met her on Fathers Day. She came to my mother in law's house for a cookout w/my son. I tried not to knock her out! What shouold I do?
2007-07-02 16:56:54 · 15 answers · asked by Sweetbabygurl318 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think the more you press the issue the more he'll stay with this woman. Kids tend to go against what there parents want. Especially when it comes to dating someone. I know you're not happy but you son is an adult. Also if he's happy with her then let it be. So if you think this is wrong stay quiet and let it play it's out. Because if you continue to press the issue then your son will rebel!
2007-07-02 17:03:43 · answer #1 · answered by Vesdog! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, all the answers seem to point to the same conclusion. I know it's not what you want to hear but it's the most likely scenerio. You are so young; you should be out with you friends, dating, and working on your career. He should know this, too. The fact that he's willing to steal the best age of your life tells me he isn't very wise, or he cares more about himself than he does about you. He should also be wondeing why you are with such an older man. If you had a poor relationship with your father, you might naturally gravitate toward older men. If, that's the case, work on this issues so that you can experience a healthy relationship with guys your own age. I'm sorry, there are just too many things wrong with this relationnship for it to fullfill you for the rest of your life. Good luck.
2016-05-17 05:26:43 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your son is 20 and he is old enough to make his own decisions. As long as they are both 18 and older then age doesn't matter. Just as long as they love each other and are happy. There is a big age difference between my fiancee and I (12 years apart) and we are very happy in love. He is 35 and I am 24.
2007-07-02 17:07:38 · answer #3 · answered by sweetheart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start seeing more of this woman. Become good friends. Fix lunch for her. Get her involved in your family. Become best buddies. Your son will HATE that!
OR...Tell your 20 year old son that its time for him to move out. Perhaps he could move in with the girlfriend. He may like the idea, but I wonder if she will. Even if she initially does, its one thing to sleep together and quite another to live together.
OR...Do nothing. One way or another, this will end before too long.
2007-07-02 17:22:21 · answer #4 · answered by Tom K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not much you can do, anything you do will only encourage him to do what he wants. hey look at the bright side, there is less of a chance of unwanted children. age is only a number until you have to help put a diaper on that number. see even you called her a chick, maybe he sees her as a chick also. 20 is a tender age to be dating someone 23 years older than you. maybe it is love, it's gotta be more than a physical attraction.
2007-07-02 17:04:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough question...but the more you forbid him at age 20, the more he will want to...I would not worry about it all that much..some people get together and stick together at those ages..
I just had lunch on Saturday with a friend and her hubby, she's 48 and he's 67, and they've been together for 23 years...so, it's not impossible for it to work..you can't control another person's life, even your son's and if you try, you will end up losing out on the relationship with your son...take care..
2007-07-02 17:07:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She must be wearing him out. Was she his school teacher?
Looks like he goes for the motherly type for some reason. Ask him what he thinks about being a dad someday? No kids with her. I am sure she will move on or he will get tired of this at some point.
At least he is not knocking up a girl.
2007-07-02 17:02:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to multiply his age times 2 and add 3 and see what a diffrence that makes. Tell him how she is only two years younger than you and could be his mom. Tell him to give a good reason to whythey should be together and if he cansatisfy that you will not question him again. I think eventually they will go their seperate ways and you can be happy.
2007-07-02 17:09:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it makes your son happy than you should be happy for him! Yes, its hard to face that she is 43 years old and he is over 18 years old so he should be able to make his own decisions. The best thing you can do is give him advice but if you really make it hard for him not to see her, he will be very unhappy.
2007-07-02 17:03:42 · answer #9 · answered by Mari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk 2 him about it, exsplain how thats a "HUGE" age difference and how he should date a girl a little younger and wow she is about your age probably if he is 20 and explain 2 him how werid that is.....2 big of an age difference.....
2007-07-02 17:01:52 · answer #10 · answered by BOO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋