2007-07-02 16:37:57 · 16 answers · asked by FUDDIN 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes it can but the one who Had the affair will be in the dog house for a very,very, long time and may never get out. He or she will have to do some serious a s s kissing.My husband had an affair 10 years ago and i still think about it every single day sense it happened. He knows I'll never forgive him for all the lies and everything else that went along with it. I told him right up front how i felt and how i will never forgive him and he will have to make up for what he did everyday he is with me.He agreed and he has done everything in his power to make up for it. I love my husband that's why we can get through this and live out our life together.
2007-07-02 16:51:43 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hey that sucks. Sorry to hear about that. Still, 20 years is a great ride. Maybe too good to give up without at least trying to work through this? "Just accept"? No, probably not. But, people go through life, sometimes not so smoothly. Let's see, you were married when she was 23? Have you checked out 23 year olds recently? They are pretty young. Turning 40 or 50 or 60 can do wierd things to people - sometimes they think they're dying. I had (one and only one) brief affair 12 years ago. It has not been easy working through the consequences, but I am still married with children 12 years later. Most marriges dont last that long. Also, I've been to counseling, and my counselor tells me affairs happen for a reason. It sounds like you want to go on, and it sounds like she does too. In the end, marriage, in my view, is not a promise that you can make once and forget about. It's a process where people decide to go forward every day. Maybe you and your wife should decide to go on for a while longer. What do you have to loose? Good luck.
2016-03-14 21:48:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to know yourself. Are you a very monogamous person? For me marriage is a relationship of trust. Your spouse should be the person in the world that you never doubt. When the trust is broken the marriage is broken. The trust given was given in error, there can never be a trust for this person again.
Some people marry for money or some other reasons and put up with anything as long as their reason to be married is safe and intact.
I dated a girl who had a free love swinger mentality and this whole philosophy to back it up. She claimed she was in love with me and wanted a relationship of trust, but an open relationship. Maybe that works for some people. I get the logic. But I would sooner a lover stab me with a knife than have sex with another person. Unfortunately I loved her too.
But if you married to be in a loving partner type relationship, one incident of cheating breaks this perfect thing and it will never be the same or as good again no matter how hard you try. Even if the person was honest about cheating the trust is gone forever. And the truth is that once having crossed that line and breaking the trust, the line is no longer there and cheaters tend to cheat again and again.
2007-07-02 16:50:45 · answer #3 · answered by ninebadthings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how much you work at it after the affair. My husband cheated on me a few years ago and we are still together, but I have to say that it has never really been the same since. Its impossible to completely get that awful picture out of your head, the idea of the person you were supposed to be with forever, the person you have kids with, the person who was supposed to love you more than anyone, with someone else. Its a really bad feeling that never really goes away.
2007-07-02 17:44:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it can but it will take a lot of work. You have to overcome the distrust that has been caused by the affair. Then you need to rekindle the love you had originally in your marriage. It can be done, but it is very rough.
2007-07-02 16:58:37 · answer #5 · answered by gonecrazybacksooninky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has worked for some but a hell of a lot of work has to be put into the marriage by the one who done wrong but if my husband cheated on me i could never ever forgive that, i have forgiven him heaps but never adultry I just could not deal with that
2007-07-02 16:46:54 · answer #6 · answered by ausblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God why you have to ask that question NOW of all days?
I just moved back home after 3 months because my wife had an emotional affair with her 1st love and it would have been physical if I had not gone to her HIGH SCHOOL REUNION with her and exposed it to his wife!
God now I feel like CRAP AGAIN!
2007-07-02 17:10:50 · answer #7 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No because it dont stop with one affair. And the person changes inside. You love your partner less, and less each day after you go down that path. Eventually you wont want to be with them anymore.
2007-07-02 16:54:16 · answer #8 · answered by cowboy_fan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes but only if the other party is willing to except it. It is hard for most people to over come b/c there are always questions. You need to talk about it though. Dont hide the reason why. Let him or her know that it wasnt their fault. If that was the case. You may need to seek some help but if you are willing and he/she is willing it can be saved. Good luck
2007-07-02 16:43:48 · answer #9 · answered by blonde n love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on both parties...if the party that cheated will they accept the hell that they are gonna go through....there will b no trust and u will always have to answer where and what r u doin..also will the party b able to watch the heartache that the other is gonna go through...will the other party b able to eventually forgive and forget..if not u might as well kiss the marriage goodbye....i have a friend that tis has happened too and i watch their marriage go back and forth and she doesnt understand y...karma is a biznitch when it comes down to it...
2007-07-02 16:51:00 · answer #10 · answered by lil country gal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋