I don’t know what to do.
My husband is terminally ill at home.
His adult son, who lives nearby, doesn’t call, visit or care for his father in any way. There’s no quarrel between father and son.
He didn’t visit on his birthday last month, or on Father’s Day. There wasn’t even a card! He doesn’t return my husband’s phone calls.
The situation might be explained by the son’s wife, a former stripper, who has said that she never loved the son, but was willing to marry him for the potential financial windfall when my husband eventually passes away. There are several witnesses to this. Maybe she doesn’t want to be involved with anything as inconvenient as a sick old man.
Although the son spinelessly accepts these horrific comments from his wife, he’s a pretty nice guy who genuinely wanted a homelife, but I don’t think he’s acting as a good son should.
I have tried everything to encourage the son to contact us, but he refuses to acknowledge my many calls.
What should I do?
2007-07-02 16:20:22 · 17 answers · asked by silvercomet 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sounds like the son has been castrated by his wife the mercenary prostitute. He didn't earn anything as he is just part of the Lucky Sperm Club. No hope for him. The wife will leave after the father-in-law passes and she takes the eunuch for all he has. Nature has a way of dealing with stupid offspring. They get eaten. The wife is the killer whale and the son is the seal. He just didn't figure out that the land was where the safety lies and he swimming for the open ocean. The stupid ones must die. Just make sure you CYA and let the chips fall where they may. You can't save them all, now can you?
2007-07-02 18:32:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
There's nothig else you can do since he does not respond or show any interest in his father. I honestly believe there's more to this story than you know. There's no way his wife could keep him from his dying father unless that's what he wants to do. Is it possible that his father did not have a solid relationship with him in the past and now the son feels emotionally detached from him? If father and son never bonded at an early age, that would explain his indifference. Also, how did you end up marrying the father? Is it possible that the son is harboring resentment because you are not his mother, he feels that you got in the way or maybe he feels that his dad did not treat his mother fairly? Only you know the truth. You need to examine all those factors without being judgmental. Make one last effort to contact the son. Ask him to meet you for lunch one day so that the two of you could talk alone. Stay calm and tell him how much it would mean for him to reach out to his father. If that does not work, don't worry. Save your love and attention for your husband as he will need it. God bless.
2007-07-02 23:34:16 · answer #2 · answered by bombastic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone... You just judged the son's wife for being less of a person because of her career choice. Why did you have to say a word about her? You are taking 2nd & 3rd hand gossip & making assumptions... shame on you!
My mother & I do not get along. PERIOD! this stems from way back when & she will defend herself as if she is a Queen & I have betrayed her all my life... Totally not the deal! But I lead a private life & choose not to let everyone in our small community know what a Lying beotch she really is... The only thing I give her is her integrity to go to her grave with "thinking" she was loved by me...
You have NO idea what has happened with the son, so therefore, do not make assumptions! Even if you were his biological mother, I'd tell you the same!
2007-07-02 23:41:27 · answer #3 · answered by T. 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What an unfortunate situation. I think your husband needs to change his wil and make you the sole owner of everything, if he doesn't have one yet then get one. You'll see how quickly they come crawling up to you and your husband when they find out that your husband has a wil and your the only one on it. I think this the smartest way to do it, you don't have a choice you don't want some skank striper coming in and taking everything that your husband has worked so hard for all his life. Please don't be sad that your son isn't around he will regret it big time when your husband is no longer with us, although that will be too late he has to live with his choices for the rest of his life. Good luck to you and god bless.
2007-07-02 23:32:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps the death of his father is more than he can take given the situation at home. If there are any kids, I'd leave any inheritance to them in a trust fund for college and controlled by a neutral 3rd party. that would cut the daughter in law out of the will, but express love for the family. I would express the reasons why as well.
2007-07-02 23:57:36 · answer #5 · answered by sm2f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, I sincerely hope your husband has rewritten his will . . .
I don't know anything about your husband's relationship with his son, or why your son would be so cold and callous. I'm not even going to go there. Perhaps he resents you and thinks you are interfering in his relationship with his father. Who knows? It's hard to know if he's not talking!
You may need to just show up on his doorstep one evening and say, "We need to talk," then proceed to tell him what kind of actions you would like to see from him in order to comfort your husband. It may be just one visit a week, or a phone call twice a week . . WHATEVER.
If he refuses, then you did your best, and you can do no more. My heart aches for you and your husband.
2007-07-02 23:31:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am deeply deeply sorry this is happaning to you and your husband...No son should be that insensitive to his mother or father even is they didn't get along, the number one thing you must NOT do is blame yourself...I know this is going to be extreamly hard maybe even impossible but I suggest going deeper into your religion if you have one and start praying for strength and guidance though this hard time...About your daughter in law I don't think you should be involved with her anymore if that is truely her mindset and your son should just learn how to survive on his own he should not have to be with someone like that...you should visit him and talk with him and only him and try to reason with him about his wife and maybe in this one case he should try to find a nice loving woman who wants a family...I know this isn't much but I hope it helps you...
I will be praying for you and your family :)
-Moose
2007-07-02 23:29:15 · answer #7 · answered by Moose 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I dont think its entirely the son's fault especially if his wife married him for financial reasons. I absolutely agree that he is not acting as how a son should act towards a terminally ill father but I do suspect that his wife is restricting him access to his father by probably holding him back, probably feeding him lies, making him feel guilty for leaving her for just a minute, etc.......If not, then he should be ashamed of himself!
2007-07-02 23:26:29 · answer #8 · answered by obviously 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do. He is an adult and going to do whatever he wants to do, or in the case of an overbearing wife, what she wants him to do.
You have no control over the situation.
At this point, I would concentrate on your husband's needs. Time is not in his favor, so take what time the two of you have together and cherish it. Son will have to deal with his conscious.
Best of Luck and I'm so sorry for your husband's health.
2007-07-02 23:26:53 · answer #9 · answered by DAWN 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you're gonna write him out of the will if he doesn't divorce that dirt bag of a wife. I'm sorry you're going through this, but I don't have a lot of sympathy for a guy who ignores his terminally ill father and gets led around by the nose by a domineering, insensitive wife.
2007-07-02 23:26:14 · answer #10 · answered by Charlie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋