for bullying victims: if you were every bullied and intimidated by people in your life, and you let them,?

Question

maybe because you were young or vunerable or some other reason, do you ever feel angry and enraged that you allowed it to happen to you? that you let people do this to you?
this is how i feel alot of the time, angry at myself that i didnt fight back in some way...
how can i deal with these feelings without feeling angry at myself for not fighting back and allowing it to happen to me?

excellent way to see it cat, thanks

Answer 1

remind yourself that "you did the best you could at the time." at that time in your life you didn't have the confidence, or skills, or whatever, to do anything differently.

Answer 2

I felt and still feel this way. More so when I was younger and in school. I tend to be a people pleaser and I tend to be co-dependent at times. I worry way to much about what other people think and am often times trying to make everybody else happy sacrificing my own happiness to an extent. As I've gotten older I have worked on this. I did feel angry at myself, but I have to work through it or it will drive me crazy. I am learning how to set my boundaries with people and am learning how to say NO. There's a really good book called Boundaries by Dr.'s Cloud and Townsend. Also, maybe get in to see a therapist. It can really help. Don't beat yourself up over it, do something about changing it. Hang in there.

Answer 3

You should be angry with yourself.

Whats the worst that can happen? Stand up to bullies learn to be assertive without being aggressive. Bullies are easy to manipulate because they do not use their brains their style is basic and predictable. Prepare for them and expose them once they have been made to look stupid by you in front of others they will back off.

If they flip and turn violent you got em by the nads. Get em done for it or knock their teeth out either way you walk away smelling of roses whilst they smell of fertiliser.

The past is gone the only thing you can change is the future.

Answer 4

You could speak to a therapist or councillor about it. they would be able to help you deal with your issues and past.

I have anxiety and depression and having been trying an alternative therapy called Emotional Freedom Technique and it has really worked for me and helped me a lot. Since using it I have been feeling a lot better. I also so had some anger about the past which EFT has reduced and cleared some of it. It's very good at getting rid of all kinds of negative emotions and dealing with all kinds of issues quickly. It does sound bizarre but does work. Might be something that can help you.

Answer 5

I turned it into a positive by working hard and getting out of life the things that I wanted. Now when I see the people who did the bulling they are no hopers without a job, money, nice house and car etc. I got the last laugh.

Answer 6

I fought back but I got my butt whipped, when you're six foot and weight 125 at nineteen you don't have power. I whipped in the first grade by a boy a year younger than I. I fought and I lost, looking back all you can do is laugh to do otherwise you would go EAST. And Coop 335 that is to kill yourself. Some day I tell you a story.

Answer 7

Adults are bullied too and despite work place policies on bullying, systems still favour the bully over the 'too sensitive' or 'too nice' and it stinks.

Answer 8

You have to let it go and get on with ure life and stop recalling bad events..Be positive and u will feel better for it..

Answer 9

Yes , It was my mother, yes, I Iet it happen And , I had to wait till I was old enought to reconnize it .and I HAD to let it go....