Why is she so bitter?

Question

I have a good friend of mine that i have known from highschool into college and beyond who has been acting very bitter about not beeing engaged or married?She is a little older than i am but only by 4 yrs so she turning 32 yrs old this year i think.She goes from one extreme too another.First she tells me how she cant believe i have three kids ages 8,4, and 2 with my long time bf and only turning 29 yrs old she goes on to say how fun her twenties were for her adding that i missed out on alot(personally i think she had too much fun judging by her rep).Then she complains about beeing lonley wanting to be married ect. and that no guy she has ever dated takes her serously.She hates to hear or see anything about married life.Her ex.bf is married and she wants to start something up again.Why is she so bitter?

I am afraid to tell her that next week i am getting married via the JP.She also claims to anyone who will listen that single life is the best?

Answer 1

She's bitter because she wants something and is unable to get it. She has to make herself feel better by putting you down.

Answer 2

I'm guessing that your friend may have mixed feelings about her situation. On one hand, there would certainly be plenty of enjoyable things about being single/no kids at 32. (I'm 33, and didn't get married until age 29...it was nice to have some time on my own to do my own thing.) On the other hand, if getting married/having kids is something she hopes to do one day, she may be starting to get concerned about what the future holds for her.

Don't let her get you down - sounds like you have the lifestyle that you want and that's what matters for you. As far as your friend goes, perhaps you should encourage her to take advantage of her status while she still has it - there are so many things/interests in this world that she can explore now, without having to take anyone else's needs/feelings into consideration. I have a close friend who is 35 and one of the only ladies from my group of close friends who isn't married yet. When she gets a little down about it, I remind her of all the really cool stuff she can do, without having to balance the needs of a husband/kids along with it. The husband and kids will likely come for her eventually, so she should just focus on living life to the fullest now. (An added bonus is that by exploring your interests/passions and getting out there living life vs. sitting at home moping, she's increasing her odds of meeting someone anyhow.)

Answer 3

Your friend in hurting inside. She realized that she has thrown her early years in the trash. It also might have something to do with her sex drive, which is hitting the top of the roof right now. Her deeper emotions are reminding her of how lonely she is. What you see on the outside is all that anger that is built up inside her coming to the surface. Don't take it personal, she is not mad at you. In her lonely hours she might be thinking of all the times she could have had and kept a lasting relationship, but thought to herself that there is still time. The good side to all of this is that she is still in the race. It's not to late for her to settle down and find a nice guy to settle down with and start a family. In order to do this she must have to change her attitude about herself. She must realize that change starts from the inside. She is more lonely now than she has ever been in her life. Her hormones won't let her forget it either. But like I stated before, a change of attiutde must take place first before anything can and will take place in her life. My advice to you is to try to stay away from her for a short while. If she continues to be this way or gets worse then you can only be her friend and give her a shoulder to cry on. You could tell her to read this also.

Answer 4

She is on and on about how single life is so great to make herself feel better, she apparentley hates being single and wants to be married and have kids already so she is trying to talk her self into beleiving single life is good and ok when in the back of her mind she really hates it...all you can do is be there for her and keep being a friend and if if your getting married tell her, say i feel bad telling you this after all you've been going through but i'm getting married and i'm happy about it and i hope you will be to, and if she is a good friend she'll be happy for you, she may be a little upset because this is what she wants, anyways...good luck with your marriage...

Answer 5

Because society puts pressure on women to get married early in their 20's, have a successful career and well-behaved kids and a happy husband and a sparkling clean home and a generally wonderful life. But it doesn't always happen that way, and when it doesn't, women blame themselves and assume that there must be something wrong with them.

Answer 6

She's bitter because she sees that you have a good, solid relationship. She sees that your life is on a successful path. Your friend's only alternative is to straighten out her own life and quit trying to base it on anyone Else's. If she wants a relationship, then she is going to have to send that message. She may need to step back from the life she is leading now and begin building the life she only imagines.

It's not up to you to feel sorry for her, it is up to you to direct your friend. IF she is your friend, she may listen. If she can't take constructive criticism from you, then she may not be the friend you think she is.

Which ever way it goes....don't look down on yourself for having a successful life. Good luck.

Answer 7

apparently she is threatened by you, you are happy have kids man and are perm settled and shes not and shes not happy about it and second thoughting. well anyhow she can have it but she has to take time and check things out and go slow. she can find someone she has to look and be careful though the men that are left around that age are very much divorced and with kids or support alot arent' single that age so it would be something she has to just look and be happy with how her life is now.

Answer 8

As long as she acts bitter and desperate, men will not go anywhere near her. They can smell a desperate woman a mile away.

She needs to get her act together and realize that not being married is not the end of her world. You might want to suggest counseling.

Answer 9

her time is running out without prospects in sight. everyone loves to screw but at some point you gotta ask yourself are you going to be able to keep up the momentum as you get out of the childish years and into the expected to be responsible years. people go through many phases and she is just in a bad one. just comfort her by saying it's a good thing you like single life because you could be well on your way to a lifetime of it.

Answer 10

She's probably miserable + doesnt have the foggiest idea of what she really wants. Dont worry about her issues. Be happy with your own life. You'll never be able to understand her problems. Since she has no idea what her problems are. Sounds like she cant make up her mind as to what she really thinks she wants/needs.....

Answer 11

I've experienced this jealously from someone who was a not so good friend from high school.

When people look around and see their peers moving onward and upward without them, they can't help but be jealous or bitter. Don't let it affect you. She needs to do what's necessary to get herself on track. Suggest a bit of introspection to her.