How did you handle life your divorce?

Question

Sorry, "life after divorce"

Answer 1

Very badly. Had the both of us decided we had drifted apart and had nothing in common anymore, I probably would have handled it well because it would have been my decision as well as his. Unfortunately, I dont know of many women...or men for that matter who can come to terms with the fact that their spouse is a liar and a cheat....which was the case in my marriage. He duped me for 15 years....I was none the wiser because I trusted him. Hindsight is a wonderful thing because there were indications things werent right....I just didnt see it at the time......I loved him, I thought we had a great marriage. When the truth hits you in the face, you dont want to believe it....you want to hang onto the "love". When your spouse cheats with different women/men, it punches a hole so wide in your self esteem that you really dont know what to do. Your dreams and illusions are totally shattered. Everything you thought that was, is not....it was all a lie. With time, however, for me, I became strong. I learnt that I am not responsible for the behaviour of other people....they must be responsible for their own actions. With time, I learnt that I still had a lot ot give a man (at one point I thought I was the most worthless piece of shiit on earth). Time is the only thing that made me handle the divorce because it allowed me to put everything into perspective....it allowed me to piece this jigsaw puzzel together with logic instead of emotion....so in answer to your question....lol.....I handled it badly initially. I handle it well now.

Answer 2

I handled it badly as well. I got a little wild for about 8 months. I was acting out over my anger and probably trying to catch his attention. If I could do it over again I would change many things. So my advice to anyone is not to handle things like that. Take care of yourself. Read books, go to a movie, get a dog for a companion. Think about if you only had 24 hours to live -- spend time with the people you would want to say good-bye to ( Keep the ex out of this scenario). Now is your chance to have a new life. If you could move to anywhere you wanted to, if you could start a new career. This is an opportunity for you to reinvent yourself or find the person you lost. I had a difficult time knowing my identity after divorce. All these things will help you. I wish you best of luck. Look to the future not the past.

Answer 3

Immediately after was the absolute worst. Time does not heal all wounds, it just makes them older and more distant.
It helped a year later when the divorce was finalized. I've celebrated my one year divorced anniversary which felt very good too.

I found myself again and it really felt like stepping into the light after such a long time living with someone who was unwilling to grow and accept change. I've almost completed a degree course. I've been working doing what I love. I've made things better for me. New place, new car, new furniture. My place is a reflection of me and not simply a reflection of someone else who doesn't give a damn about me, or anything else for that matter.

Overall, its been a hard road, but a very fulfilling one. It's nice knowing that I can move forward with whatever changes that come and that I don't have to live with someone fearful of those changes.

Everyday there is ..."No day but today..."

Answer 4

With my 1st husband to be honest I got alittle wild went to clubs to meet guys Good Lord what was I thinking there I will never know. I didnt drink so that was my only purpose. After my second. I picked up the peices and they were small and started over. He abused me so when I left I left it all. A farm that had been in my family for over 200 years my trailer my cars everything but the close I had. Yeah I could have fought him but I didnt have the money or the pasients I was done. So I stayed with my mom for a few months rented a litte log cabin some people helped me with furniture and I was amazed. I could actually by grocerys pay bills take my kids out on dates. Just the kids and me and still have money. We had a ball. I was happy for the first time in my life. That is how I started. Now I am happily married and have two great step kids. We are one big happy family. Couldnt ask for more. I guess it is true things happen for a reason and when one door closes another opens. I have more than I have ever had. I am happy.

Answer 5

Life after divorce was hard for me financially at first, but then I found a decent job and things changed... but the best thing was I changed into the person I knew I was and lost while I was married for 16 years... moving on and getting past all the hurt took time but it does get better with a little faith and hope, and support from family and friends....

Answer 6

.I figured I that I would let Go And let God .I was disappointed,sad and hurt.So i journal my feelings so I could work through them. It was a great healing proses.My thoughts and feelings could take residence on paper and not in my head. I all so took time to care for myself a new hairs style ,went to the makeup counter for other new look and bought some new clothes. This is a new chapter in the life .I want it to be memorable not depressing or poor ,poor me.

Answer 7

Accept the fact that it is over. Things have changed, it will be different from now on. And move forward, building the life you want for yourself. Set some goals and get busy, the sky is the limit. Good luck and God bless****

Answer 8

I just recently finalized my divorce.What I did is surround myself with people who were also divorced.People soon knew and started to ask me out. It was hard because I had small kids,but I knew that I could overcome it.It is a lot easier when you go out and meet knew people.Hell,if I knew I was getting this much attention,I would have gotten divorced earlier (lol).

Answer 9

I am going thru it right now and it's difficult. Actually, as I type I am struggling to keep fear off bay... You take it one day at a time, keep telling yourself that it happens alot and that you are not alone. That you will come out through this ok...

try to think positive

Answer 10

I started a website called shouldidivorcehim.com for women who were in the same position. It made me feel better to know there were others going through the same thing.