Here's the situation. Me and my wife are divorcing we have two kids ages 9 and 12. We own a house. It is in my name. I want to do what is best for the kids. My wife wants me out of the house. She said that she's going to move out if I don't, and take the kids with her.
She's the one who wanted to separate. She already started dating. She doesn't come home sometimes. And when she does, she's drunk. It does hurt to see her like that, but I can't control her.
I told her that I won't move out, but I'm having second thoughts.
I want to do what is best for the kids. They're used to being at the house. It is their home, but If I move out, I will be spending more than what I earn - I can't afford to pay for the house and rent an apartment at the same time. Plus my credit is tied to the house. I also need to take care of my own wellbeing.
I want to do what is best for the kids. Should I move out? And if I move out, would the kids think that I abandoned them?
2007-07-02 13:55:35 · 17 answers · asked by l1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Contact a reputable attorney & claim your kids & the house. You are the responsible, moral one in this situation. Your wife will not be able to get far with her dating history & being drunk. That is not in the kids' best interest.
2007-07-02 14:00:56 · answer #1 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't make a decision until you speak to a lawyer. Seriously, in some states, if you move out without any legal papers, it could be abandonment. Just be careful and take care of yourself and your kids. Call a lawyer, they should at least talk to you for free the first visit or there's always legal aide. You sound like a good guy with your kid's best interest at heart and that's so important! It sounds like your kids need you right now if their Mom is out and about already. Try to give them some stability until you decide what to do. Be sure you sit down and explain everything to your kids before you leave. I know how hard divorce is because I've been there. I was lucky I had no children. Take care, man and I wish you the best!
2007-07-02 22:05:26 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a really tough situation. Some people manage to live in the same house while getting a divorce, could you stand that?
There's money at stake here, and there's also your mental well-being. If it is going to rip you into shreds everyday to be near her, then somebody has to leave or at least learn how to completely avoid her.
It seems to me that your wife is too busy dating when she should be earning enough to make those house payments. She should be getting a second job if necessary, not dating AND expecting you to pay her bills. geesh.
Tell her that either she makes the house payments, or she leaves, and the kids stay with you.
BTW...don't leave without consulting a lawyer. Your wife could get you for abandonment of the family home, and that could hurt you for joint custody.
Oh...one more thought...in my divorce my husband left the home, but when the home was sold I had to pay him back for the house payments he made while I lived in it, that I couldn't afford, out of my share of the equity. Get a decent lawyer and get that written into your divorce papers.
2007-07-02 21:05:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask your wife to move out. If she is coming home drunk, that is not good for your kids to see. Does she not have any respect for you at all? She has no right to come home drunk when she is still married and living in your house. Check with a lawyer and see what your options are. In some states it doesn't matter who holds the title. She might be entitled to 50% of your assests. Good luck and be strong. It sounds like you deserve better. Always put the kids first.
2007-07-02 21:00:59 · answer #4 · answered by JoliCart 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to take control of the situation your letting your wife get away with too much. Since it is your home let your wife know how things are going to be you need to see an attorney and get a restraining order put in affect then change the locks and let her know if she comes home drunk she's not coming in the house. Your children don't need to be around that. Also let her know the next time she doesn't come home she needs to stay there and not to come back it's time to take action and not let her run all over you......
2007-07-02 21:37:32 · answer #5 · answered by miester44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you move out..everything might go in her favor in the divorce, plus your kids need you. Do the right thing and stay there for your kids. Ask your lawyer about temporary custody, tell him what your wife's up to. You may get the kids and the house.
2007-07-02 21:00:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO do not move out! Get a visitation order signed by a judge before you make a move. Consult legal advice - go to your local courthouse and ask for legal assistance they can give you direction. Do not move out, it gives her two advantages - security and having the kids. Looks like YOU left, and she and her lawyer can run with that. Even if she says all the right things to convince you she'd never burn you - they always do. A legal document is the only thing you can count on.
2007-07-02 21:02:17 · answer #7 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay in the house with the kids and have your wife move out. If she wants the separation then let her leave.
2007-07-02 21:01:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple keep the kids and move the wife out , and charge her with ADULTERY and unsafe environment for children!
Have all your ducks lined up and then strike!
You will get everything and she nothing, because what she's doing is harmful to your kids!
When I was separated I did the right thing and gave the wife half my pay and keep up with bill so I know what your going through!
2007-07-02 21:02:20 · answer #9 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your wife needs a wake up call. If she wants the house she needs to pay for it. If she's keeping the kids she needs the house and sobriety. If she'd rather party you get the kids, the house and a child support check. Call your lawyer.
2007-07-02 21:01:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋