my husband says his lady coworker has friend characteristics he likes such as saying that shes fun, interesting, etc. so i asked him if he likes her enough as a friend that if i wasn't around via me have died or us not being married but bf gf, etc would he persue going out with her and he got mad at me asking that cause he new it would upset the both of us because his answer was yes that if he wasn't married or in this situation any other lifetime he would have met her he would have persued something. this really bothered me so it makes me have doubts about him and trusting them. have you ever asked that question to your significant other? i new i shouldn't have asked but i thougt he was going to tell me no especially since he says he doesn't know that much about her. im worried he will start liking her as more than a friend. do i have reason to worry though he says he loves me and shes just a friend that i know can lead to more. what do u think?
2007-07-02 13:20:01 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
maybe we should not ask questions we do not want honest answers too.
2007-07-02 13:43:20 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women!!....we ask questions we really don't want the answers to. This is much like "do I look fat". Come on, if you didn't want the answer, don't ask the question. If the two of you have an open communicating marriage, then he spoke his mind and you have no issue. If you want to stress over this from here on, you created the problem for yourself. Why would you ask? He could have lied to you and said he would never consider it....would have been nice....but a lie. If you haven't a good relationship with your husband, then now you know he is interested in someone else. Why would an honest man give you an honest answer to your question if he was seriously considering taking himself outside of the marriage!! Most men would tell you nothing because they wanted to cheat. What kind of relationship do you have? Communicate more openly more often.
2007-07-02 13:44:57 · answer #2 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in his situation. If there was some handsome guy at your work that had great qualities and you were unattached, wouldn't YOU be interested too? I don't see how that is a bad thing. All of this is BASED on the fact that you wouldn't be in the picture. It's not an insult, it's honesty. And you should be grateful that your husband communicates with you so freely. Don't screw that up with silly insecurities. HE CHOSE YOU, and everyday he is faithful he is STILL choosing you. Let that be enough for you, and give him a big ol hug and kiss today when he gets home from work. Not worth any worry sweetie.
2007-07-02 13:33:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're creating your own Drama. The fact is that he found you first and made the commitment with you via marriage. So, you should respect that commitment and his honor to uphold it.
There are what if's all through life. You're playing a what if game. My wife and I have asked each other similar questions. But, neither of us take the answer for more than it is. We know that if one of us weren't around, then that would obviously open the door to have relationships with other people that you meet through your life. There's nothing unusual about that.
So, don't make a mountain out of a harmless question and answer. You're who he's with. The way that'll change is if you drive your man away. Drama like this is a good way to start.
2007-07-02 13:25:51 · answer #4 · answered by Zeltar 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're not careful, you'll push him right into her arms!
Being jealous will get you NOWHERE but alone. Act confident. Be fun. Maybe your husband was trying to drop you a hint. Take some pride in your appearance. Your husband should have more sense and know when to keep his mouth shut, but maybe he's tired of you asking and being so insecure. That is NOT an attractive quality.
2007-07-02 13:24:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you'll drive yourself crazy worrying!!!! However, i see where you are coming from...i had a "friend" like that once...i cheated on my boyfriend with a guy and he was the same towards me as you are with your husband. Although i must say that he wouldn't be so honest with you if something was going on and being jealous will push him away. Maybe you should try to get to know her as well...then you might feel a little better about the situation.
2007-07-02 14:29:59 · answer #6 · answered by Dreama1212 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am pissed off just reading this I'm sorry but you are insecure big time,especially to ask your husband a stupid question like this.......... ! if he said no you would question him if he is being truthful or not then you would continue to think about it driving yourself nuts and him.what possible good did you think was going to come from asking this.he is married to you,obviously he loves you or he wouldn't have talked to you about her as a friend and that she is a nice person. he was being open .let it go. apologize to him for asking such a stupid question.
2007-07-02 13:33:25 · answer #7 · answered by david g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well...1st off everybody who isn't married or tired down wants some type of companion at one time or another. if he wasn't married of course he would persue someone, as i am sure he persued you. or you would presue someone if you where no married. when dealing in hypothetical you have to take with a grain of salt, as the situation is not real. if you love him you need to trust him. if you dont trust him, you do not need to be with him.
2007-07-02 13:29:16 · answer #8 · answered by Griff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you start being a whinny untrusting person you may push him that way when he was never thinking of it.
Just make him love you and never take him or his love for granted. You do this and you will have a faithfull husband who can have a friend.
2007-07-02 16:37:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to stop asking him dumb questions that make you mad.
2007-07-02 13:28:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋