I would like everyone to look at this and give me feed back...thanks so much?

Question

Alot of times when something really terrible happens to someone they dwel on it and try to get sympathy even years later. That is understandable. I have a past too and I know that feeling. (My biological father is a registered sex offender.) To all the people who have past like mine or somewhat like mine I would like to give you a little advise. Don't dwel on your past and mope around and whine about it. Use it. Things like this are what shape your personality. Don't use it as an excuse to make bad grades or be a bum. Use it as and excuse to show other people that you are better. What dosn't kill you will make you stronger. I know that if things didn't happen in my past then i wouldn't be who i am today. And that is something to be thankful for.

I am only 15 and I will suceed and show my dad that he didn't effect me or my life. The best thing he did was go to jail. And one day he will look back and be proud and wish he had chosen me over drugs.

Answer 1

If there were more people like you that turn their bad experiences around and make them learning experiences this would be a far better world in which to live.

I see way too many "victims" out there that really need to step up to the plate and become their own person instead of the poor abused child/wife/husband or whatever.

Before anyone gets up in arms about my last comment let me explain that I lived the abusive marriage and came out of it a stronger and more self aware person that has used that experience to benefit me. I see in other people the signs that they are being abused and I am always the first one to say to them that when ever they are ready to talk or get out I will help in any way that I can.

This is not to say that my strength was not hard won and that yes there were some really tough times.

This is not only the case with relationships but there are those that turn to their ethnicity as an excuse not to work or achieve their goals. This just burns me as there are those out there that are making a life for themselves and their families "in spite of" where they came from not falling back on it as an excuse.

You are an amazing and strong woman to have taken your experience and allowed it to make you into a better person.

Good for you and way to go!!!

Answer 2

From what you have implied, i believe that i share a similar past, i agree about not using the past as a crutch, i too feel that i have to better my life to show them that i can succeed, no matter what was done in the past, it must be a result of the past, that now we feel we are fighting to prove we survived and that we are stronger, it is a trait i often wonder would i possess if it had not have happened to me....i'll never know, but i am successful today, someday i hope though that i will not have to feel the need to always prove that i am strong, it is great to have come this far and be strong and not dwell on the past, but remember it is part of us, and whilst we dont want others to know it all, we know it inside, and whilst you say not to let it get to you, we both know that we cannot help the days that it does get to us, so everyone deals with it differently, but it is ok to succeed.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, that's very easy to say but extremely difficult to do. I have a past that sounds similar to yours (from what little you've said of it), and it took years of therapy for me to get to the place where I could read something like this and not go "You don't know anything about it! You can't understand my pain!"

Yes, a lot of people do use their pasts to get sympathy or an easy ride in their lives today, and it's very sad. Unfortunately, the only people that can get them out of that is themselves. People in their lives can be there for them, but it takes the person to want to do so before it'll happen.

I admire your effort to get people to see this.

Answer 4

My sister likes to use our terrible childhood as an excuse for the way she is. It takes the blame & fault off of her. It's a way for them to feel less responsible for the things they do against society. I get soooo angry when I hear a child molestor say they hurt children because it was done to them. I am a survivor of child molestation & I've never even considered causing an innocent child the kind of emotional & physical pain I went thru. We decide what kind of human we are going to be when we become adults.

Answer 5

Okay, so this post isn't really a question..but...

What very intelligent and mature heart felt advice for everyone in the 'relationship' section. For 'Marriage and Divorce,' just take a gander at some of the questions and think about how this advice would be perfectly applied.

Very nice Sierra...and perfect timing... :)

Answer 6

Good for you Seirra! You can talk from experience and I admire that you don't use your past as an excuse to a lousy behavior. This world need more people like you. Many blessing and peace to you.

Answer 7

What an excellent outlook on a difficult past!
Keep up the good, positive attitude. You are a winner and will continue to be one.
God bless you.

Answer 8

well spoken and im glad you`ve turned out so understanding, it`s all too easy to blame your past and your folks on your own shortcomings.

Answer 9

YES BE A BETTER PERSON AND BE STRONGER SO YOU USE YOUR POWER TO TAKE REVENGE AGAINST THOSE DISRESPECTFUL TO YOU. NO CRIMES AND/OR PERSON(S) WILL GO UNPUNISHED. THOSE INVOLVED WITH MEANINGFUL/PURPOSED-LY AND OTHER INTERESTS INTENTIONS WILL BE BE PUNISHED, DON'T YOU THINK? THOSE WHOSE WERE MISLED AND/OR INTERPRETED WILL BE FORGIVEN. QLKM!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

well I'm glad you have a positive attitude...but where is the Q here and what does this have to do with Marriage and Divorce?